~ zwei ~
For as long as I can remember, I was
here.
As the daughter of
this kingdom’s king.
As the—...
princess of this kingdom.
It wasn’t as if I hated it or
anything.
My mother and father, who gave birth
to and raised me.
My kind brother and sister, who grew
up with me.
The people in the
castle who were always looking after me in one way or another.
I loved each and every one of them.
... But, I wonder when it was.
—... that I started to think, This is a cage.
The windows of my room were all
secured with iron bars, so the times I’d actually see an unobscured
view of the sky from there... were a thing of the past.
I couldn’t ever go out to the city
alone.
... No matter what, there would
always be someone to accompany me.
“Geez, you’re such a worrywart,
Father, I’ll be fine~,” I would say with a smile, but thinking ... Ahh, I can’t go out alone... It was horribly painful.
On the castle grounds, there were
many that I was close to, but they were all older than me. And above all
else... they wouldn’t see me as anything but “the princess.”
—... They stood by “Princess Nanoha,” but next to “Nanoha,”
aside from one person... there was no one.
And it wasn’t often that I could
meet with that person privately, seeing as she was busy with her squad.
I was lonely. I was sad.
I was nothing but “The Princess.” I
wasn’t “Nanoha.”
... This person called “Nanoha”...
did not
belong here.
【
zwei ~ (kennenlernen)
~
】
“... Uu~. What should I do...”
As the day came to a close, covering
the city in darkness, I let out a sigh. It had probably been about two hours
since I seized the opportunity of no one watching to escape from the castle
grounds and make a mad dash for the town.
It was exciting to be out alone for
the first time. While trying to still my racing heart, I strolled down the
brick-lined road pretending to be calm.
I had been overjoyed at first... But
after a while, I began to notice something.
Hung here and there in the city... were those posters.
The parties held year after year had
certainly been for me in name.
... But, I had never spent them with
my family.
Military leaders
and nobles, all too obvious in their attempts to curry favor. And the
kings and princes invited from neighboring kingdoms.
And me who answers
to them one by one. ... It’s the same old scene every year.
That was never how I wanted to
celebrate.
At our dining table, the five
members of my family are gathered around a meal slightly more extravagant than
usual. A cake, small but cute, is placed right in the center. My father chides
me for being so excited and while laughing, I pretend to apologize.
They sing the traditional birthday
song and I blow out the candles. After that, we eat the cake, smiling as we say
how good it is.
... I wanted that modest but warm
kind of party.
And yet, even that was not granted
to me. The only parties I was ever given were ones where all I could do was
smile forcedly... Only cold parties.
I quickly wiped away the tears that
slowly and unexpectedly begin to form. Hurriedly leaving the place with the
poster behind, I walked down a narrow road, doing my best not to stand out.
... But, that was a bad idea.
Having just taken a road I was
unfamiliar with, I now had no idea where I was. ... This might be bad.
Thinking that, I tried to retrace my
steps, but as the roads were designed to prevent enemies from reaching the
castle too easily, I got even more confused by them.
Pleadingly, I looked upwards, and
the large castle plunged into my view, soaring above everything else.
... I wouldn’t be forgiven for
escaping that cage. It felt as though the castle, dyed by the setting sun, was
saying that to me.
It was—... frustrating.
Only a short amount of time passed
before darkness fell completely. Left with no other choice, I crouched beneath
a street light I had come across.
... What should I do now...?
I let out a frustrated sigh, feeling
pathetic.
Ahh...
It’s hopeless.
Trying to hide those feelings, I
buried my grimacing face in my knees... That was when it happened.
“Why are you alone in a place like this?”
—... It was a very kind voice.
As if guided by that voice, I lifted
my face—... and filling my sight were deep red eyes.
“... Um, I’ve kind of lost my way...”
Following that honest answer, “Where
did you come from?” She asked about my home. But I couldn’t tell her, “I snuck
away from the castle! I’ve really done it!” As I shook my head, hesitating over
an answer, the girl made a perplexed hum.
... Is she going to leave me here
like this...? If that happens, what would I do?...
I wondered, and suddenly... I became very anxious.
Without even realizing it, I tightly
grasped her sleeve.
When she noticed what I had done,
after a brief pause, the girl extended her hand to me. ... And when I
grasped that hand, it was as if it was the warmest thing I’d ever felt.
It seemed as if this girl didn’t
recognize me at all. So—...
... This was, the first warmth
offered to “Nanoha.”
***
“Um, here we are. ... I’m home, Linith.”
Setting the paper bag she had been
carrying onto the table, she called out to a woman standing in the kitchen.
Hearing her voice, the woman named Linith leisurely
made her way toward us. She was a pretty woman, with something very kind about
her.
“Welcome home, Fate. ... My, and
this girl is?”
Her gaze suddenly shifted to me as
she dried her hands on the apron she wore. “My?” The way she said it was as if
she had noticed something—... automatically, I felt my body stiffen.
... I wonder if I’ve been found
out...
I felt sweat trickle down the back
of my neck. My heart was beating painfully loud.
“... Yeah, she said she’s lost. Linith,
can she use the telephone?”
At the girl’s words, that fixed gaze
turned away. “Yes, by all means.” She then guided me to the phone.
... What do I do, what do I do? My
attendants are usually away at night so I don’t think anyone’s discovered that
I’m missing yet, but calling one of them right now would give myself away.
... Word that I’d gone into the city
would definitely make its way to Father. If that happens... going out as easily
as I did today won’t be possible anymore.
As I was becoming more and more at a
loss over what to do, a soft voice from behind me asked, “Are you alright?”
Hearing that, I replied, “Yeah.”
—... In that moment, I recalled the
face of a person I could call. A member of the guard force, my steward... Or
rather, a girl I often played with.
... If it’s her,
then definitely...
Dredging up the number for her
direct line from the back of my memory, I dialed the digits with a trembling
finger. Pururururu... pururururu,
the call sound rang twice. On the third ring, a drowsy but familiar voice
picked up.
“Yes, hello? Who might this be?”
“Ah, it’s me. Nanoha. ... Actually...”
When I had finished explaining my
situation, I heard a sigh mixed with a wry laugh. I gave her the address I’d
received from the girl who was now watching over me as I used the phone. After
making a few reproachful comments, she told me she’d be able to come pick me up
tomorrow morning.
Feeling relieved, I hung up the
phone.
“Um... I hope you don’t mind if...”
As I started to say this, Linith-san, who was in the back of the room preparing
dinner, immediately replied, “It’s fine.”
Being given a response as suddenly
as that, I began to feel rather guilty. Saying “I’m sorry,” I received a
laughing response of, “It’s really fine.”
“Yes, it’s fine of course. ... It’s already late, and it
would be dangerous for a girl to be out alone.”
As she said this the girl standing
behind me also smiled brightly.
***
“Um... I’m really sorry about today...”
Dinner was over, and it was already
time for bed. According to the clock hanging on the wall, it was already 10
o’clock.
“No, don’t worry about it. I’m glad I was passing by.”
“It was scary to be by yourself on a street you don’t know,
wasn’t it?” ... She said with a smile. —... Seeing
that smiling face, I felt my heart grow strangely hot for some reason.
... I wonder what’s wrong with me...
Maybe I’m tired from walking so much?
I was idly wondering about that at
the back of my mind when, “Oh, that’s right,” a voice spoke up as if
remembering something.
“... Now that I think about it, I never asked what your name
was.”
“... Ah, you’re right...”
Various things had been talked about
during dinner, but now that I thought about it, I didn’t think I’d heard her
name even once. “Ah... I’m sorry.” Apologizing so, I shyly added, “I haven’t
heard yours either.”
“I’m Nanoha. ... And you are?”
“Fate.... Fate Testarossa...”
“Despite my circumstances, I know my full name. It’s something
like a memento from my parents,” smiling as she said this, she showed me the
pendant she wore. Attached was a coin that gave the impression of being very
old, and when she turned it over the letters of “Fate Testarossa”
could be seen on the back, slightly chipped in a way that made it seem as if
they’d been carved in with something.
Not knowing what to say, I was
silent until she said, “Ah, I’m sorry.” Hearing those words, I shook my head a
few times.
“But, I wonder when it last was. That I’ve talked like this.
There aren’t any children my age at the institute.”
“... Yeah. I don’t really have anyone my own age I can talk
to either, so I’m happy.”
She smiled shyly, and I couldn’t
help but smile as well. It had probably been a really long time since I’d last
smiled like this... from the bottom of my heart. My heart was racing for some
reason, and it made my cheeks feel like they were burning.
“Fate-chan. ... Um... If you like,”
“Yes? Wh... What is it?”
I summoned my courage. I took a deep
breath. And put my feelings—... into words.
“Could we be friends? ... Fate-chan.”
Was my voice shaking? Does she think
I’m strange? Thinking this, I tightly clenched my
fists to hide my sweaty palms.
“Fr-iends...?”
Fate-chan’s
expression was blank. ... Maybe she won’t become friends with someone like
me... Someone who’s keeping such a big secret... Thinking that, I tightly
clenched my hands once again.
After a moment, “If you’re okay with
me...” her slightly trembling voice returned.
... Overjoyed... I began to cry.
“Yeah! And, would you... call me Nanoha?”
“Nano... ha.”
For the first time, someone other
than my family... called my name.
For the first time, looking at “the
true me”... were warm eyes.
I was hopelessly happy.... And at
the same time, something warm was spreading throughout my heart.
“Yeah!”
We called our names like this
several times, smiling. For the first time since I had been born, while feeling
like I was wrapped in joy...
I gently fell into the depths of
sleep—...
***
“Then, Nanoha...”
“... Yeah.”
Morning came, and my escort would be
coming for me soon... It was the time of our parting. Desolately, I tightly
grasped her hands, and those hands squeezed back even tighter.
“... Fate-chan, can... I come and
see you again?”
“Yes, if you want to, anytime...”
Our connected hands, as if they’d
hardened together, didn’t move. I couldn’t remove my gaze from those deep,
gentle, red eyes.
... I don’t want us to be separated.
—... It was strange how strongly I
felt that. I wonder why...? I’ve never felt this way before. Is it because I
finally made a friend...? I felt so sad.
“... Nanoha, I’m sure your
family... must be waiting.”
“... Yeah.”
With effort, we released our hands,
our fingers straining as they separated. ... Slowly, finger by finger, they
came undone.
“I’ll definitely come again.”
“... Yeah. I’ll be waiting.”
I turned the cool doorknob, opening
the door wide. “I’ll see you again,” I said, waving goodbye. Quietly... the
door closed.
My mood fell a little with each step
forward I took to the corner several intersections ahead, toward a person I
recognized from behind.
“... Um, that is... I’m sorry...”
“Seriously,
huh~. Can’t you try putting yourself in my
shoes, as the one who has to cover this up? Nanoha-chan.”
—... She said that with a wry laugh
mixed in. “Honestly, our princess is so naughty, I can’t keep up,” she said,
stroking my head. I was happy but... as I thought, it
was a different feeling than with Fate-chan.
“Well, it is for cute little Nanoha-chan... so I’ll gracefully submit~.”
“Sorry for the trouble.”
I bowed my head, and she stroked it
again. Then leading me by hand, we got into the coach.
“... Hey, Hayate-chan.”
“Yes? What is it?”
I remembered that somewhat shy,
bashful, smiling face.
I remembered the incredible warmth
of that palm.
“I made a friend.”
That warmth was now gone... My heart
tightened painfully.
—... I want to see her again...
Hopelessly—...
I thought only that.
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