～ dreizehn ～
The sky
that had been so clear gradually clouded over, and by the afternoon turned into
a downpour.
I watched
this from the other side of the window.
It’s like it’s crying, I thought—... like a
child who doesn’t know what to do.
Crying out in a loud voice, until it
becomes hoarse.
Don’t cry.
I drew my
face closer to the window, until the tip of my nose touched it, when clink,
there was a faint sound.
At the end
of my gaze, pressed up against the glass, was the necklace that was now
completely familiar to my skin. The one that, on that day—... Fate-chan had given to me.
The stone
had gotten damp from touching the condensation that had formed on the window.
Dragging a finger across it, I wiped the moisture off.
... The
tiny droplets that still remained ran down the stone’s curve and fell to the
floor without a sound.
—... Ahh, she’s crying.
I let my
fingertip touch the stone again. ... Illuminated by the moonlight, it was a
gentle, deep red. It always reminded me of her gentle eyes.
Fate-chan is crying. At that thought,
my body began to move.
Heading toward Fate-chan’s room.
Everyone was
already asleep, and I hurried along the silent corridor with quick steps.
I don’t
know why I thought that. But it was like it was seared into my mind.
Like a
wish. Like a prayer.
I focused
only on that thought.
【 dreizehn
～ (verurteilen) ～ 】
“Na... ... no, ... ha...”
Hearing
that pleading voice, I slowly ran my hand through her hair. Again,
and again, and again.
When I did,
the arms around me tightened just a little. It was to the point that it hurt a
bit, but I said nothing.
“Anyway,
let’s go inside, Fate-chan. You’re getting cold, aren’t you?”
Fate-chan’s body felt cool as I held her. Perhaps she had been
out in the rain. From that beautiful golden hair, droplets fell, one after
another.
“... Yeah.”
Despite
answering, Fate-chan wouldn’t let go. To soothe her,
I patted and rubbed her back.
... I
didn’t know why, but. I thought she seemed confused. She was shaking as if she
were frightened of something.
“I’m...
right here, Fate-chan.”
—... Deep
crimson quivered. An indescribable fear was reflected in those depths.
I opened
the door, and sat Fate-chan down on her bed for the
time being, before taking a towel from the closet. Maybe it was freshly washed,
because it was fluffy and warm.
I quietly
covered her head with it, and began to carefully dry her wet hair. ... Even
while I did this, Fate-chan didn’t try to let go of
my hand.
That hand
that held on so tightly, was very cold.
“... I’m
sorry.”
Those
softly spoken words were raspy, almost as if they would disappear at any
moment. I shook my head several times to those words, continuing to wipe away
moisture with the towel.
“It’s
alright. But... finally. You called my name.”
The room
fell silent. A murmur. Then her body twitched
slightly.
“... No-,
this, I mean... I was confused, e-excuse me...,”
At my
words, her body tried to pull away. To keep that body from escaping, I put my
arms around her shoulders.
They were
so smooth and slender it would almost make one doubt she was really a knight.
—... The shoulders of any slim girl her age.
... Her
face was hidden by the draped towel. I pulled on it until her expression was
completely hidden. All I could see now, was her mouth.
Perhaps flustered by having her vision suddenly obscured by the
towel, Fate-chan twisted around in my arms.
“Fate-chan, you’re alone right now.”
“... Eh?”
I stroked
her head through the towel.
“You’re
alone. You can’t see anyone, can you? There’s no one here aside from you.”
“...”
Perhaps not
understanding my words, Fate-chan paused
her movements.
“So, no one
will hear your true feelings if you say them out loud.”
As I
finished speaking, I slowly kissed her head. As I repeated this many times, her
body turned toward me, and I was held tightly by trembling hands.
—... With
the towel still on her head, I couldn’t read her expression.
“... I love
Nanoha. To the point that I can’t
do anything about it. I want to reach out, but I can’t-. ... I’m sure,
I... I will,”
Those words
abruptly cut off. The mouth that hesitated pursed tightly together. As if
fearing something, again, that body trembled.
Even so, I
refrained from saying anything, from urging her on. I just continued to softly
stroke her head.
“... I will
hurt Nanoha. Even if I don’t want to, even if I
shouldn’t!”
As though
it really, truly hurt.
“That cold
voice that calls my name... won’t stop.”
—... she
continued.
It was,
like that of a child who didn’t know what to do. A sad,
pained voice.
“I can’t
remember... No... If I remember, I won’t be able to... stay by Nanoha’s side.”
I heard a
sob. —... It was the wailing of her heart. She herself probably didn’t know,
didn’t understand. Words that escaped unconsciously.
“I’ll be
here. ... No matter what. Always,
always.”
—... The
words she once gave me.
“I’ll be by
your side. ... If the voice won’t disappear, I’ll call your name, Fate-chan.”
I took
those hands that had turned white from gripping the sheets so hard. The places
where blood oozed out from where her fingernails had dug in, I covered with my
own hands.
“Over, and over. ... Until that voice stops. I’ll call your
name.”
When I
removed the towel covering her, her face was distorted with tears. Running my
fingers over those red cheeks, I stroked them over and over.
“If your
hands can’t reach, we can just reach out together.”
“—..., but!
I’m a knight, and you’re a princess! You are, someone important to this
kingdom,”
So confused, so hurt. With both hands I encased that head
that shook back and forth in denial.
“... But,
we’re both human. ... Nothing is different between us, ...
we’re human.”
“You’re
wrong, I’m—...,”
“Fate-chan.”
The words
she continued to speak, the mouth that cried out bitterly. —... I sealed them
with my lips.
“... I love
you, Fate-chan.”
“—..., ... I love... you too, ... Nanoha.”
The arms
that tightly embraced me were warm. Not wanting to let go, I tightly returned
the embrace, our lips meeting.
Even when
it became painful to breath, I didn’t let go. Within
my consciousness that was getting hazy, I just called Fate-chan’s
name.
“... I love
you, Nanoha. I love you.”
“Yes, ... yes.”
Again and
again I answered those words whispered in a daze. The tears wouldn’t stop. When
I put even more strength into the arms embracing her, I heard something clink
together.
Fate-chan seemed to think it strange as well, and we pulled back
looking for the source of the sound. At my chest was the pendant, which had
peeked through a gap in my clothes without my noticing.
“... Maybe
they bumped together.”
Saying that with a shy smile, Fate-chan
pulled something out from around her neck. A pendant
that I had seen before. ... It was the exact same as my own.
I gently
touched the pendant. Beautiful blue peeked out, reflecting the moonlight that
entered from the window.
“... That
day, I had bought one to match yours.”
“You’re
still wearing it.”
It was as
if it were saying that Fate-chan had been thinking of
me all this time. And so—... I was so happy, I could
have cried.
“You...
kept wearing yours too, Nanoha.”
Her
fingertips touched my pendant. She stroked it again and again, before enclosing
it in a slightly trembling hand.
“... I
thought... if I did this... You would think of me, even if it was just a little
bit.”
In those
times that were so uncertain. So painful, so sad. —...
I had always unconsciously grasped it.
“Even if
you didn’t do that... I would always be thinking about you, Your Highness.”
Unexpectedly,
Fate-chan’s voice became abruptly respectful, and
when I anxiously raised my eyes,
“... I
would have said that before. ... But now, I can be honest, right?”
Fate-chan’s face looked bashful, and was flushed.
“I was
always thinking of you.”
Soft lips
descended. And again, I was held tightly.
“... Nanoha.
... When this war is over, there’s something I want to say to you.”
“Something?”
“Yeah.”
I tilted my
head back to peer at her face, and she smiled again. That smile, made my chest
hurt.
“My
princess.... Would it be alright, if I stole you away?”
With a trembling voice, with wavering eyes. But with very
clear words.
“... or... no?”
—... It
sounded like a declaration.
“... Of course, dear knight.”
So I too,
made a declaration in return. It was shaking, and hoarse beyond my
expectations.
—... Fate-chan’s face was blurred with tears.
“... I’m
glad.”
That night,
I fell asleep in Fate-chan’s embrace. Her arms were
warm, and gentle.
—... I was
truly, truly happy.
＊＊＊
Early in
the morning, Fate-chan escorted me to my room, taking
care so we wouldn’t be seen by anyone. Hayate-chan was standing in front of my room, and the two of us
got harshly scolded.
“Don’t make
me worry so much!” and, “Imagine what it’s like for someone who has to pull the
strings to cover it up!” Stuff like that. Once Hayate-chan got it out of her system, she sighed deeply.
“You fi~nally became honest. Both of you.”
She mussed my hair as if she were praising a small child. ...
It was right after that.
Shrill
alarms rang out within the castle. I saw a group of knights
salute, then run down the hallway.
One of them
stopped and saluted Hayate-chan
and Fate-chan.
“Permission to report?”
“... What’s
wrong? Just what is...”
“... It’s
finally begun...”
Hayate-chan seemed to be glaring
through the window. Following her line of sight, I turned toward the window.
—... There, were the distant grasslands.
There was
no sign of those bright green meadows, and instead, there was a large column of
fire.
“...
They’ve launched their assault.”
Fate-chan continued with strained words.
Dumbfounded,
all I did was stand there. The knight that was explaining the current situation
also stated that per the supreme commander’s request, Fate-chan
was also to be deployed as a front-line captain.
“... In any
case, we need to investigate what those bastards’ plan is.”
“They were
so discreet in preparing for this. ... I don’t think it’s a simple invasion.”
There was
still no request for Hayate-chan,
who held a position of commander. For now, try to get as much support from
other kingdoms about as possible, was the order.
“Hayate... please take care of Nanoha.”
“Naturally. ... Be careful, Fate-chan.”
“Of course.”
After
confirming that the knight had run off, Fate-chan
slowly stroked my head, and said, “I’ll protect you, Nanoha,”
with a smile.
“... Fate-chan, be careful, okay?”
“I will.
Thank you, Nanoha.”
Fate-chan changed into her Barrier Jacket, and ran down the
corridor. As I gazed at her back, I felt an indescribable anxiety.
—... And
when Fate-chan returned to the castle, it was two
days later.
As if to
say, “I don’t want to accept this reality,” her body was trembling, and her
expression was terribly pained.
After
concluding a long, long report and the resulting tactical meeting, Fate-chan and Hayate-chan returned to my room with me.
That body
continued to tremble.
In front of
knights other than Hayate-chan,
I couldn’t hold her. So I held her hand, and
A single statement.
“... The enemy’s target. ... The reason for
this war. ... We found it.”
She
continued.
She bit
down on her lip until it split, and blood seeped out. That wound looked like it
had been made long before she came to my room.
As I was
about to reach for a towel to treat it, the hand holding mine tightened.
When I
turned back to her, those eyes that were always so kind were stained with fear.
—... Pain, and sadness.
“You
already are aware of this kingdom’s national treasure.”
“... Yes.”
A tale that was told to me since I was young. “You’re the
one connected most closely to it,” was what was always added to the end.
“... No way.”
A hoarse
voice left my throat. ... I couldn’t believe it.
Because this story should only have been passed down through my
family and a few others. Fate-chan must have
learned of its existence from the meeting earlier.
She looked
like she would cry at any moment. Her face was downcast. She shook her head, as
if to say, “I don’t want to accept it.”
—... And.
“The target
of the enemy forces is... our kingdom’s national treasure... and you, Your
Highness.”
That small voice that sounded as if
it were squeezed out, reverberated through the silent
room.
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