～ sechzehn ～
Always, always.
I thought
that we would be together like this.
This war
ends, and peace returns.
I’d take
your hand, and fly into the clear, clear, cloudless, blue sky.
The
thriving streets of town could be seen below.
Just as
before, they would again be overflowing with smiling faces.
We’d try to
figure out where we should go.
My stomach
would growl. I would probably turn bright red, and you’d laugh upon seeing
that.
“I guess
I’m hungry,” I’d laugh back.
“Well, why
don’t we stop by the usual bakery? Their freshly baked bread is delicious. I
love it.”
“When I was
little, it was a bit big. But now it seems a little small?”
Despite
that, we’d split it evenly. When it broke, the fluffy bread would peek out of
its crust.
You’d smile
happily as you say, “It’s good.” I’d smile back.
“Then—...
what should we do next?”
“... Ah.
Let’s go to that meadow. Did you know the night stars are beautiful there?
Twinkling and shining like gems, it’s almost overwhelming. —... Ah, but that’s
still not all, you know?”
There are
still so many places I want to take you.
Like the
hill where the sunset is beautiful.
Like the
grove where many rare fruits grow.
Many.
To the
point where it’s almost countless.
Many, many.
There
truly—... were many.
And yet, why
did it end up like this?
Why, did it
have to turn out this way?
I—... don’t
want to be separated from you.
I wanted to
always... stay by your side.
【 sechzehn ～ (Testament) ～ 】
I
remembered. Everything.
No. No.
Certainly, “I”
loved Mother. Though I was young, I even vowed to do anything for her.
But.
“I,”
rejected that.
Certainly,
I love Mother—... but I also love this kingdom. The people who were kind to me.
The warm streets.
It turned me,
who had no will, into myself.
Nanoha made
me into a human.
But....
—... No matter how much I wished. —... I shouldn’t have been here.
Because, I,
am the daughter of Precia. From the enemy kingdom. The daughter of the one
behind this war.
“Nanoha...
Nanoha..., Nanoha.”
Tears
brimmed over, and the scenery distorted. They overflowed and fell one after
another, creating a deep stain on the red carpet.
“Uu, ah...
Ahh..., gu,”
It hurt.
Unbearably, it hurt. ... But, I couldn’t even tell where it was that hurt.
And so in
the hallway that had darkened to the point that I couldn’t even see my hand in
front of my face. Like a lost child, like a criminal who couldn’t gaze ahead.
Quietly, I
cried.
＊＊＊
Chaotic
feelings remaining, the next morning arrived.
Somehow galvanizing
my hazy mind, Hayate and I headed toward Nanoha’s room. And so... being her
steward, Hayate informed Nanoha of the national treasure’s disappearance.
Next to me,
as she detachedly received the report, she simply looked pained.
“... I
wonder why something like that exists.”
If it
didn’t exist, this war wouldn’t have even started.
... If I
didn’t exist, no one would have been hurt.
Eyes
downturned, she murmured this.
“... We’re
certain that the next to be targeted will be the princess.”
“—... Yeah,
that’s true.”
At those
words, Nanoha’s downturned face rose. “Yeah.” After seeming to ponder
something, “Nyahaha,” she laughed.
“I want
to... be on the battlefield with everyone.”
“If I’m
going to be targeted anyway, I’ll take them straight on!” Nanoha puffed out her
chest. At that moment, uncaring of the presence of other knights, I grabbed her
hand and raised my voice.
“You can’t!
If you were to do that, you would...!”
That’s right—... That is absolutely forbidden. If she
does something like that, Nanoha will surely—...
“I want to
protect everyone... to protect Fate-chan. Because I have the power to.”
Nanoha’s life... will be lost.
No matter how high her magical potential is, she’s never
received any training. ... Moreover, she’s the highest priority for the enemy
knights.
If they were to attack in numbers... the odds would be
bad, even for me. I don’t want to let Nanoha into the path of danger.
“I will
protect you, Your Highness. I will protect the world you wish for, so-”
—... so, please.
For you, I will gladly sacrifice this body. I’m not
afraid to die for you.
So, please don’t enter the battlefield.
Don’t see the completely changed image of your beloved
town. No more... I don’t want to see your eyes downturned in sorrow anymore.
So.
“I-! ...
Don’t even want a world without you!”
She
interrupted my words with a powerful tone.
Tightly
wrapping my cheeks with both hands, she raised my downturned face. —... Before
my eyes was, trembling and quivering deep blue.
“... So,
don’t say... anything about wasting your life.”
Tightly, my
body was wrapped in shaking arms. That moment, the air in the room seemed to
sway.
“I always.
... Want to be... together with you, Fate-chan.”
Making me,
who had worried and concealed it until now, look like a fool. Nanoha declared
this—... in a clear, unwavering voice.
“We
promised, Fate-chan.”
“...”
Her arms
tightened. Her small shoulders shook.
Ahh... I wonder if I can put my arms around her.
If it would be forgiven.
I looked
around over Nanoha’s shoulder. An atmosphere so calm, it was almost surreal was
wrapped around us. At first, they were surprised... but now the knights were
smiling happily.
There were
some people looking uncomfortable, but there was none of the rage I feared.
“... Yeah.”
I put my
arms around her. ... It was warm. My tears wouldn’t stop welling up, and to
hide this, I buried my face in Nanoha’s shoulder.
—... Ahh, I love it here after all.
For this
reason, I was afraid.
What would
everyone think if they knew I was someone related to the enemy kingdom?
—... Surely, there would be no trace of an atmosphere this warm.
Because,
this war had taken so many lives. Surely among those, everyone would have
family or acquaintances.
It was—...
something unforgivable.
Still,
Nanoha would undoubtedly come to my defense. ... Then, what would everyone
think?
The
princess that protects a member of the enemy kingdom.
... The
knights and townspeople who had their homes and precious things taken from
them. That strong resentment, would surely turn not just toward me, but Nanoha
as well.
Then... a
civil war would surely occur. Quite literally—... this kingdom would perish.
Because of
me.
Because I
was here.
“... I
don’t want something like that...”
On top of
which, from here on, Mother, who had not appeared on the front lines yet, would
come. To obtain Nanoha—... the key as soon as possible.
As I was
now, I didn’t have the confidence that I would be able to protect Nanoha while
on that person’s bad side. ... If I saw that person’s eyes, I would not be able
to disobey.
Nanoha
would vanish from this world—....
“I don’t
want it... Something like that... I don’t want it.”
So I
decided.
Undoubtedly, Mother will never forgive me.
That blade will, I fear, be turned toward me.
—... But.
＊＊＊
It was a
night so terribly calm, it made me want to doubt that there really was a war.
While the oppressive atmosphere remained unchanged, it was nevertheless
peaceful.
“... Nanoha.”
Knock knock, I knocked on that door. After a moment, “Come in,” I heard
a subdued voice.
“... Good
evening, Nanoha.”
“Good
evening, Fate-chan.”
When I gave
that familiar greeting, she replied softly in return.
When I
opened the door... She was probably about to go to sleep. The side-tail she
always had neatly tied, was down now. Beautiful hair streamed down her
shoulders, catching the light.
“... What’s
wrong, Fate-chan?”
“Mm... I
just wanted to see your face.”
Suppressing
my throbbing chest, I forced a smile to make sure that it didn’t make its way
into my expression. The muscles of my cheeks seemed to make a straining sound.
No.
I wanted to
scream. I wanted to give it all up, and run away with you.
But, I can’t do that.
“... Fate,
chan?”
Perhaps
thinking my downturned look suspicious, she quietly called my name. Still
unable to look at Nanoha’s face, I sat down on the edge of the bed.
The springs
creaked as the mattress sank down. The soft light of the moon, illuminated my
slightly trembling fingers. ... To hide this, I tightly grasped the sheets.
“... I love
you, Nanoha.”
When I
raised my gaze, familiar deep blue. —... The color, that I loved.
I stopped
that body that tried to leave the bed. I softly wrapped my hands around those
slender shoulders.
“... Fa,
... wa-”
And sank
them into the sea of sheets. The white sheets were dyed the color of flax.
That which
fluttered in the air, also dyed my vision that color.
“...
Nanoha, I love you.”
“... Mm”
Slowly, my
lips approached her soft cheeks. Again and again, I repeated this. That which
little by little changed to a cherry-blossom color was lovely. When I kissed
the corner of her lips teasingly, Nanoha turned her body a little.
—... With
that, two pairs of lips touched.
I wanted to
cry.
“...
Nanoha”
My
outstretched hand, met yours perfectly. We touched. We exchanged words.
“Fate-chan”
I felt like
just a little, I began to see the sky I wished for.
“I love
you, ... Nanoha-”
“... Mm,
ah,”
So I’m sure.
—... I’m sure that one day, you’ll be able to fly.
“I love
you. Nanoha”
—... I, will give you wings.
So—... fly into the clear, clear sky, Nanoha. Burning
your smile into my memory. Carrying my feelings for you, and your feelings in both
arms.
“I, lo-ve,
you too, Fate-chan-”
I can fall to the bottom of the ravine with a smile.
Again, and
again. We kissed so much I wondered if our lips would swell. We tightly
embraced. We shared the warmth of our bodies.
With that
alone—... I was happy.
In between
countless kisses. I blocked Nanoha’s lips as they tried to say something.
—... I’m sorry, Nanoha.
Again and
again, as we kissed, within my heart I repeated that apology.
＊＊＊
I could
hear her peaceful breathing. The easy, repeating rise and fall of her
shoulders. It was overwhelmingly—... lovely.
“All I...
need is to live with just my feelings for you, like this.”
Gazing at
her calm, sleeping face, the words naturally spilled out.
I quietly
slipped out of bed. ... Nanoha didn’t wake up. She moved just a little, but her
gentle breathing could still be heard.
Relieved by
this, I turned toward the desk set a little apart from the bed. There, by the
window, it was bright enough even without a lamp. Probably because of the full
moon. Light that looked as if it were cut out in a square, followed the
window’s contours.
I took a
single sheet of blank paper from a stack, then took out a pen that was in the
drawer. ... The inkwell was nowhere to be found. Even searching the drawer a
second time, it wasn’t there.
That’s troublesome...
Letting out
a sigh and deciding to at least try, I ran the pen across the paper. The ink
exuded from the pen tip made letters that were a little hazy.
It seemed
it could still write a little. Relieved by this, I again began putting down
letters.
“... Dear Nanoha,”
... What do I even intend to do, writing you something like this?
I’m sure all it will amount to, is making you cry.
Since this is the end, forgive this selfishness.
I was truly happy today. Thank you.
But,
I absolutely don’t want you to go through danger.
I want to protect you. You who I love. —... That’s why.
That’s why.
I’m going to Mother.
And then, I’m going to have her stop this war.
For leaving suddenly, I’m sorry.
You don’t even know what I mean when I say Mother... I’m sorry.
But—... I’m sure that this is something that only I as her daughter can do.
I do know... that it’s probably impossible.
Although we were together for only a few years, she is my mother.
That’s why.
—... I’m going to destroy the stone that is the cause of this.
If I do that, I’m sure this war will end immediately.
I’m sure even you will be able to visit town freely then.
Then, why don’t we go on a date together?
Ah... Come to think of it, that would be our first date outside, it makes me nervous...
Will I be able to escort you properly?
“... There are... so many places I want... to take you, you know?”
You said you weren’t able to leave the castle very often.
So, I’ll show you all around town.
Also... I want to properly introduce you to Linith.
It’s a little embarrassing, but... I want to say it properly.
“... I have... some... one, I love...”
I forcibly
wiped my ragged and overflowing tears with my sleeve. Those not wiped away,
gradually distorted the ink letters.
I don’t want us to part.
If we do, I’m sure we’ll never be together again. —... I
don’t want us to part. I want to stay by your side.
I wish I had remained ignorant. Of everything. If I never
knew, I’m sure that I could have looked at only what was truly important.
“... Such a future would have been nice.”
If it happened—... how happy we would have been. If I was
born in this kingdom, and happened to meet Nanoha, how happy we would have
been.
But that
was nothing more than a fantasy.
Nanoha and
I, belonged to enemy kingdoms.
No matter
how much we screamed, “It doesn’t matter,” the people around us would never
allow it. After all, war had already broken out.
I met you,
who I shouldn’t have been able to meet. I fell in love. I learned that such a
happy feeling existed.
Hey, Nanoha.
As long as you’re alive, you can love.
But, I’m sure that for me, this is my last love.
That’s why, Nanoha.
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
I scrawled down
the final line. I sealed it. The sender was Fate T. Harlaown. The recipient was
Nanoha Takamachi.
I will leave “Fate
T. Harlaown” by your side. So, Nanoha.
If I return here and you meet me again.
That is no longer me. I am the traitorous... knight of
the enemy kingdom, “Fate Testarossa.”
So, you must act like a proper daughter of the king,
okay? Because you’re this kingdom’s hope. Its savior.
I’ll gladly offer my own body if it’s a blade pointed
from you. Because, my existence itself
is a sin. Because I deceived everyone.
—... The web of lies that is “I,” as of today will return
to “me.”
However, these feelings, at least—... were not lies.
“I’ll
always, always love you.”
I
unfastened my necklace, and placed it on top of the letter. That which had a
different stone from Nanoha’s, cast a dull blue light as it reflected the
moonlight. A teardrop that fell from my eye landed on the stone and traced its
contour before it fell to the tabletop.
Ahh. It’s as if Nanoha is—... crying. While gazing at
it, for some reason, vaguely—... I thought that.
“I’m sorry,
Nanoha.”
The latest
apology of who knew how many. And, a kiss. I closed the door so that it made as
little noise as possible, and walked down the long corridor.
As I left
the gate, that woman was there.
“Well?
You’re resolved to make an enemy of the kingdom you’ve live in until now?”
“... It
almost feels like I’m dancing on the palm of your hand. It makes me sick.”
So, I won’t tell you the real truth.
“... Let’s
go. Back to Mother.”
Following
behind the woman with the pasted-on smile, I raced into the sky. In the sky
that was dark as though ink had been poured over it, my golden magical aura
streamed straight behind.
I looked up
at the moon that seemed to sting my eyes.
“I’ll
protect you... and your beloved people... Nanoha.”
Even if, say, this body were to rot.
___________________________________________________________________________________
