～ zwanzig ～
What were
lies, and what was truth?
Which do I
believe, how should I act?
As I am now—... I don’t even know that.
What should
I do?
What should
I believe?
I don’t
know anymore.
But, I can
say at least this.
With pride, and with honesty.
No matter what—... I will protect you.
So, please.
— Don’t
call my name anymore?
That I was
in this world, that I was next to you,
Please
forget.
【
zwanzig ～ (rufen) ～ 】
The land that my feet were walking on for what should have been the
first time, for some reason seemed very nostalgic. — Ahh, I was born here after all. I couldn’t help but
feel strongly conscious of this.
The sandy
sea air rasped across my cheeks. The sound of the waves and
the sound of the wind. Other than that I could hear nothing else. It was
completely silent.
“This way.”
Urged on, I
stepped forward. Before my eyes was a great castle gate. It was a little
rusted, and in some parts the paint had peeled off, bringing to mind the
passage of years. Even so, it gave off a grand air, as if to boast that this
was the center of this kingdom.
I touched
it with the palm of my hand, then pushed firmly.
Along with
the feeling of cold iron, there was a loud creaking noise. —... Slowly, the
castle gate opened.
There was
no sign of anyone, not even a light. Left with no other choice, I used the
moonlight to follow behind her.
“... After you, Fate-ojousama.”
“—....”
The door at the far end. She put her hand on its knob, and
smiled thinly. My feet were frozen. ... My heart beat with a loud, tumultuous
rhythm. — As though, my throat were crushed. I
couldn’t breathe properly.
My head, was in pain.
“... Excuse
me.”
Darkness
filled my vision. A completely empty room. From the
widely opened window, moonlight did not enter, only, darkness.
“Ahh, how I’ve missed you... Fate.”
A hoarse
voice resounded. — My chest, became hot. What is
this... Is this, nostalgia?
“I’m back.”
Not
stepping forward, I spoke those words. Looking closely I could see a small blue
light floating, illuminating those cheeks.
— It was, that stone.
Mother
stood next to it, as though nestling up to it.
“It’s mine
at last... Erbsünde.”
“— Congratulations.”
A facial expression like intoxication. Ahh,
it’s all so nostalgic. From a corner of my head, I raised my voice
in joy. “With this, will Mother praise me?”
— But, I’m sorry.
I don’t desire that.
“All that’s
left is the key... Only the key....”
I heard
laughter that shook my eardrums.
“My cute Fate. ... Lend me your hand once more.”
At those
words, I nodded just once.
For now, I
had to wait for an opportunity. — If I rush here, it will surely be lost. Cautiously. Cautiously.
Aim for the precise moment
“Everything
is as you will, Mother.”
— and destroy it.
Until then, I will obey. To avoid
suspicion. At the thought of betraying Mother, the inside of my chest
throbbed with pain.
—... I’m sorry. I love you, Mother.
My beloved, — only mother.
But.
— Please forgive me. I have someone I love more than
that. And, I. No matter what—... don’t want that
person to die.
So.
＊＊＊
It stank of
blood. — And of a smokey, dull stench, like something
burnt. Hayate’s words from the other day, circled
round and round the inside of my head.
Nanoha.
I miss you. — I miss you. To be honest, I want to go
back. I wanted to say, “yes.”
— But, I still can’t.
“A little
more... A little more, so,”
Those words
that slipped from my mouth which were supposed to cheer me up,
shook so much it was pathetic. ... They just sounded pleading.
As I soared
through the sky, I stared only straight ahead.
The
reflected sky, had been a blue so deep it pierced the
eye. Now that the light had slipped away— it had become a red so deep it was
sorrowful.
And, my
hand that reached out toward it had also—,
“—... Fate, are you alright?”
Firmly, I
clenched my hand. Trickling drops, fell onto my cheek
in the flow of wind. — The sensation of something streaming down it in lines, was frightfully hot.
“... Yes. Are you alright, Agito?”
“Worry about yourself before me! You...,”
“I’m
alright.” I interrupted Agito’s words before she
could say anything else. Despite how she appeared, it seemed that she was prone
to worrying.
It was
surely just as hard on her, having to do an impossible Unison with an
incompatible person, while suppressing the backlash with magical energy.
But— I might not have as much time I thought. My body creaked
under the strain of the rejection that had surpassed my expectations.
“— This is it, Fate. I can’t
help you any more than this.”
“... I’m sorry for speaking selfishly. But, please try
just a little more.”
— I had
learned many things since coming here.
While I didn’t know why. Mother would go somewhere at
regular intervals. In other words, at that time Mother was— not next to the
stone.
I checked
several times to confirm whether or not I was mistaken. It was— without fail,
on the nights with a full moon.
And another thing.
There were
no longer any normal mage knights; the only ones entering the battlefield were
Combat Cyborgs. The researcher behind their
production was dead, and the factory was no longer operating. Which meant— the knights on the battlefield now, represented the
entirety of the combat capabilities of this side. In other words, if
they were brought down, this side’s combat capabilities would be no more.
To make
sure that it was truly not operating, I visited the site of the Combat Cyborg manufacturing plant. — That was when I met Agito.
Dim though
it had been midday, in the corner of a room now covered in dust. Inside a
securely built cage, for some reason, she was there.
[...
You, are?]
The hollow
stare and the innumerable scars that ran across her body were painful to look
at.
[It’s
alright now.]
— Without
thinking of the consequences, I simply opened the door of that cage.
“Hey! Are you listening, Fate!?”
“Ahh, yes... Sorry, I’m
listening, Agito.”
Cooperating
with the girl, I waited for my next opportunity, and in the meantime we worked
to diminish the number of Combat Cyborgs on this
side. — So that Mother, who had not yet come onto the
battlefield, would not realize this.
Any who saw
me, I shot down, leaving none behind.
“It’s finally arriving, today— finally.”
The night of, the full moon.
“So, until then I want you to help me.”
“— Alright, until then. After
that, will you... smile properly?”
“Don’t look
so sorrowful.” They were— since I had met Agito,
words that had been said to me many times.
Fate Testarossa— could no longer smile. But, I couldn’t say such
things to her, who seemed like she would cry. I only nodded.
Then, as I
was about to increase my speed,
It was in
the next instant.
“—... Gah, ah-!”
A strange sensation of discomfort. From my
side, the feeling of warmth flowing out. The same moment I noticed this,
a gouging, sharp pain erupted.
I turned my
gaze to it. — A thin, red blade that shone in the light of the setting sun. I
saw the red that ran along it, slowly form into spheres, and fall toward the ground.
“Fate!”
I heard Agito’s scream. Reflexively I twisted my body, pulling out
the blade. At the intense pain my body doubled over, and without correcting it,
I forcibly moved my strengthless arms, and readied my
Device.
In front of
me was—
“Hehe, really now. That’s no good,
is it? Fate-ojousama. On a
battlefield one must always be on their guard.”
“—, gu, it’s... you?”
Smiling
dryly, it was her. That of mine which adhered to her blade,
she licked, and her smile deepened.
“And I had
such high expectations for you. To think that you were
actually planning to destroy the stone instead.”
“It’s too
bad... I couldn’t meet your expectations.”
The tip of
my brandished blade quivered. ... My eyes, blurred. My side still burned with
pain, and it hurt even to breathe.
“Yes. Entirely. ... After being used as much as you can be, in the
end, you’ll be cast aside.”
“...
What... are.... What are you saying!?”
Again, she
laughed. Happily. Like a child who had received a
favorite toy.
“The wish that
Precia-sama would try to achieve even at the cost of
war... What do you think it is?”
“... Mother’s, wish?”
— I had
never thought about it. Why Mother wanted the stone.
Because
Mother wanted it, I would try to get it. Just wanting to be praised, wishing
only for that.
“She’s
trying to bring her daughter back from the dead, you know? Not a substitute,
but the real thing.”
“... Real, thing?”
A substitute... who? — What does
she mean, “real thing?” I mean... I’m Mother’s only
child.
Siblings?
— I’ve never heard... anything like that.
“Ahh, poor Fate-ojousama!
You had been so fortunate to be picked up by Precia-sama.
And to think, it was only because you were the spitting image of Alicia-sama, who had just died!”
Ali... ci, a?
“Wh... What... wha, ... that’s..., haha... Who would
believe such a thing!?”
Alicia? Who? — I don’t know! I don’t know! I’ve never
heard... of such a, thi-...
[＊＊＊＊]
I heard it
as a child— Mother’s voice. Each time I would say, “No, I’m Fate,” —
that twisted face.
“I don’t
know... no, n-... kh, kuh-!”
“Fate! Don’t try to speak any more!”
“Ahh... You can’t die yet, you know? Because
you’re the important vessel for Alicia-sama.”
“—... khh, gu...,”
“Poor Fate-ojousama. All alone. ... But, I will always be your ally, alright?”
“... Don’t,
lie,”
— No. I am not alo—...
I’m not, alo...
“Without a kingdom to return to. Without a
place to return to. Ahh, I’m sure that
princess also resents you, don’t you think?”
“...,”
— Nanoha.
“Fate-chan, you lied to me...”
“—!”
— Her
mimicking voice, overlapped with Nanoha’s. No... It, wasn’t Nanoha. She. The person before my eyes, was
not Nanoha.
Even though
I knew that, at that voice my heart leapt. It was as if I were truly— being
accused by Nanoha.
“You’re
terrible, Fate-chan!”
“—
No... Nanoha! No!
No, No. That isn’t why I wanted to be by your side! Please believe me!”
“Fate-chan, I...”
Stop. — Don’t, say it.
Please, don’t speak those words.
“hate you.”
“Aaaaaaah!”
“— Fate-!
No, stop!”
Na
“—, Kyaaah!”
noha.
I heard a
scream. Transmitted across my tightly gripped Device, the
feeling of its blade piercing something.
The pain
that had been so intense, was gone. My body that was
jarred with an explosion of suppressed magical backlash, my pierced side.
— Nothing, hurt.
But,
everything in front of me was turning black. Even she, who was falling toward
the ground, was no longer in my field of vision.
“Fate,
Fate! Get a hold of yourself!”
“— kh, kuh-”
I leaned
against some rubble. Maybe my body was feverish, and the cold transmitted
through my Barrier Jacket might have felt nice. — My numb body, no longer
understood even that.
“— It doesn’t, look... like I’ll, be able to return.”
“Idiot! Don’t say things like that!”
Agito was saying something. Though that
sound was certainly causing my eardrums to vibrate.
— I
couldn’t hear anything.
Just from
her open, moving mouth, I at least understood that she was lecturing me in some
way again.
“... But,
if I’m here, Nanoha... might be in dan... ger.”
She said, I was the “vessel.”
— Then, surely— If I’m gone
“... this war will end?”
Because Mother’s dream, will be gone.
“Fate! Hey! Fate!”
Slowly I
stretched my hand toward the sky. The clouded sky was pitch
black, and the snow that fell as if coloring it grew until it was falling as
though dancing.
Trying to
catch a snowflake, as I pulled myself from the wall of rubble I leaned against,
I felt a sharp pain in my side... and a slippery
warmth flowing out.
Removing
the hand that had been pressing down on it, I reached out to the sky as if I
were begging for something, and what before had been staining my hand, now
slowly ran down my arm.
—... I felt
something different from snow... something warm falling onto my cheek.
Within this
land where everything was dyed pure white, one deep red flower bloomed...
Caressed and scattered by the wind, its petals fell onto the fallen snow.
It’s... hopeless. This is the end, of everything.
But it’s fine. This... is fine.
—... Because if I’m gone, this war will
end as well.
Happiness will return. Nanoha
will smile.
But.
... I don’t want to disappear.
No, no, no.
I don’t want to disappear from this world that Nanoha is in.
No good. It’s no good.
Both the beginning, and the end.
Everything is my fault.
I loved Nanoha. I wanted to
protect her. I wanted to be by her side.
That was all I wanted.
But.
I didn’t even have the right to do that.
Not at all. Not for anything.
Whether it’s between two girls, or a
knight and a princess.
Those things didn’t matter.
Even if we had met in a different way.
— I, would surely have been the
person to use Nanoha.
“-ku..., a... Nano... ha”
Had I known of everything that would happen, I wouldn’t
have met her. Even if we did meet, I wouldn’t have
fallen in love.
I surely wouldn’t have... had feelings for her at all.
... What... am I saying?
That’s impossible. Even I know that.
I met you. And called your name.
—... In that moment, I had already
fallen in love with you.
“Nanoha... Nanoha-”
I’m sorry, Nanoha.
I can no longer
be by your side.
“Nanoha... I, love you.”
Within this
land where everything was being dyed pitch black, only your sorrowful smile
would not leave the insides of my eyelids.
[Fate-chan]
Within this world heading toward its end, it seemed as if the only thing I could hear was your voice from my memories.
___________________________________________________________________________________
