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[Fanfic] FirstS

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Nanoha-sama's picture
Joined: 05/30/2010
Posts: 358

LOL A-WE-SOME. Ah aH !! Just incredible. Fate surely love talk about her knowledges !! Poor teacher.... XDD I can't wait for the next chapter Sha !


langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

I think Fate gave a new meaning to the old saying "you can't escape Fate". XD
Her speechs are a powerful weapon, although not on par with Momoko's "happy aura".

ditto526's picture
Joined: 08/17/2010
Posts: 295

another great chapter, can't wait for the next one, keep up the good work

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294




Sha Yurigami

''So where do I sit?'' Fate asked the teacher who was still cowering in a corner.

'Does that woman really need an High-School education?!!' she thought brushing her silver-white locks aside and stood up to face her new 'student' ''Well you already proclaimed who our fiance is, so sit next to her.''

she pointed at the closest seat to Nanoha's where a blue haired boy sat ''Hanamura sit next to Bannings and let'' she smirked ''the spouses be together, hehehe!'' her sadistic giggling at Nanoha's devastated face but stopped when the blond exclaimed:

''If you don't mind us making out in the middle of class or doing inappropriate things while disturbing not only our classmates but also other classes, which could accidentally end your carrier as a teacher…then I have nothing against it.''

the teacher paled instantly ''Hanamura! Forget what I said! Sit where you sat before and let Testarossa sit next to Bannings!'' she yelled making a dramatic pose…

She was rendered helpless.

'No matter how you look at it! That woman knows how to overwhelm a crowed!' Arisa thought eying the other blond as she walked to the free seat beside her.

She leaned slightly to the right, close enough to whisper to the other blond ''I don't know who you are, but thanks for defending Nanoha.''

Fate leaned ''You certainly don' look so shocked ba ma proclaiming 'er'' at that Arisa smiled wryly, picking Fate's interest, she leaned even closer and whispered ''Tell me later why Nanoha is avoided by everyone…''

Arisa's eyes widened. 'So the she realized it already' ''…and why she doesn't like being a lesbian although she accepts your relationship.''

At that the younger girl nodded, sensing that it's no use to avoid that topic forever, especially when her friends fiance asked her ''In exchange tell us who you are and why you dared to further embarrass Nanoha!''

Fate smiled.

The rest of homeroom went by rather fast.

The teacher would ask the class questions about math's and the class would answer.

At the end of the lesson, shortly before lunch break she asked on particular student ''I seem to remember that you still haven't told us what you want to become in the future, Ms Testarossa?'' the teacher smiled evilly.

''Is there a reason why you would like to know my plans for the future? I don't seem to remember that that was a must?'' Fate said eying the smirking teacher.

''Well, it does in your case, especially considering your age and knowledge'' now she was sure to get the blond.

''I wanna become prime.''

The teachers shoulders slumped and her finger began to twitch, her jaw hanging lightly below ''Huh?'' she blinked.

''Yep I wanna become the Prime Minister of Japan. Therefore I need my High degree because I already got College education in US and finished several courses in Tokyo University'' everybody's jaws dropped '' by which someone decided to give me a Doctor…I don't even know which one one… but I declined…'' she grabbed into her schoolbag and took out some papers handing them to the boy before her, mentioning that it should get to the teacher…

As the boy stared a little at the papers his eyes began to tear some, two twin rivers of blood dripped onto his desk board… some of his mates looked at him bewildered even shocked. He got up and handed the papers to the teacher holding his face I his hands…

''And those are the certificates proofing it.'' the blond finished laughing but stopped ''Nakajima-sensei?'' she asked semi-concerned.

The teacher stared onto the certificates and then placed the papers onto the desk.

She slowly moved away from her desk and…began to hammer her head against the chalkboard while screaming.

No one moved, to shock by the brutal display of their teacher, some turned their heads slowly to the laughing blond ''When the headmaster saw hose papers he reacted the exact same way!''

Sweat dropped from the students faces and Arisa thought aloud ''No–…way…''

But the blond laughed some more ''I already said that I only lacked my High-School degree'' she deadpanned at which some students began to cry.

Nanoha only stared at Fate.

She didn't know of this.

She…hadn't known anything of the blond who came into her life…correction who forced herself into her life!

She abruptly stood up catching the attention of some students.

The copper-brunette walked over to the still laughing woman…and pulled her at her ear ''Auowowowowowowowowowowowooowow! Nanoha?!''

''Apologize!'' she demanded, pulling the blond up by her ear ''Huh?!'' came the reply from the blond.

''Apologize to everyone you've made to cry here!''

Fate flinched ''Ye- but Nanoha?!''

She flinched even more as she saw the girls glare ''No buts or you're gonna have to face consequences!''

the blond gave in to her fiance's threat and apologized to everyone for her behavior. She even went to the still screaming Nakajima-sensei saying ''Sorry for bullying you'' and seated herself to Arisa once more.

Nanoha also sat back on her seat, she looked at the broad shoulders of her kidnapper ''She's such a pain'' she whispered to no one in particular, sighing while resting her chin on her right hand.

Unbeknownst to her, a small smile grazed her lips.

Soon homeroom was over and lunch break came.

''Nanoha-chan let's go first!'' Suzuka walked over to her and grabbed her arm.

''B-But what about Arisa-chan and Fate-chan?'' Nanoha asked as she was dragged away.

''Arisa-chan will come af…ter…wait…Fate…-chan?'' Suzuka looked at her dryly before


As soon as no one was within the classroom, the two blonds stared straight ahead.

''So let's talk'' Arisa started…

to be continued…

Here chap 11 XD Have fun reading

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

I feel sorry for the teacher, now I'm curious to see what Arisa wants to say to Fate.

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

I've said it once, I'll say it twice: evil cliffhanger is eeeevil. XD

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294




Sha Yurigami

''Okay'' the short haired blond said, stretching her arms. Both, her and the taller blond stood next to the open window in the classroom.

Fate wasn't looking at her, she only leaned her body against the windowsill waiting for the younger one to continue.

''What do you want to know first?'' Arisa began to talk while the older blond closed her eyes ''Same question back to you.'' she said.

Arisa's jaws clenched but her irritated gaze only met the cold exterior of the older blond.

''Who are you?'' she questioned accidentally in English her native language.

Fate smiled at the younger girl's question.

''Vice Primeminister of Japan Fate Testarossa Harlaown''

She heard the rush intake of air, that was to be expected but didn't turn ''Explains things…'' Arisa muttered making Fate now look at her. The politician didn't expect that the girl to believe the things a basically stranger told her.

''Aren't you-…'' she began but was cut short as the short haired pointed an accusing finger at her.

''Did you kidnap Nanoha?'' Arisa interrupted her, glaring although the threat wouldn't work on the half a head taller blond. Fate smiled and sighed ''I wouldn't call it that…but yes in your eyes it sure is kidnapping'' she answered honestly while looking into the shorter blonds eyes with determination.

“…” Arisa's jaws clenched once more, gritting her teeth while balling her fists, but before she could speak out again Fate began to speak.

''Now you have to answer me Arisa Bannings! From all the information I gathered about Takamachi Nanoha, three major things were left unclear!''Fate proclaimed loud. A vein popped on Arisa's forehead and one thought ruptured her mind 'Did that woman use her authority to stalk Nanoha?!' she visibly had to stop herself from punching the outstanding woman.

''One, the incident in which Takamachi Shiro was nearly killed, and in which the case was ignored due to the official fact that he worked as a bodyguard. Second that boy Yuuno Scraya who has a strange connection to Nanoha although he himself was adopted …'' Arisa's eyes widened ''…by…'' the older blond ''…the local top…'' surely does her homework ''Yakuza group! '' neatly.

''And third, the thing that I don't even have a clue about! Why did Nanoha scream that she wasn't a lesbian on broad day and in the Central Park of Tokyo?! I know very well that it has something to do with something you have said or talked about to her.''

Arisa stepped back a little, averting her gaze by looking out of the window 'So that's what she's so fixed about.''

The first rays of orange light pierced into the building.

The days became surprisingly short.

Arisa slowly breathed in and out and looked back at her mysterious companion.

''Back then…when I first met Nanoha, we were both nine…It's funny because back then I would always bully her, pulling her hairs or laughing when she's silent'' Fate's fists balled.

''You know'' Arisa leaned her back against the windowsill ''I only did it, so that she would say anything to me…she was always silent, never screaming or hitting back, but always cowering in a far off corner…crying by herself or just in silence. All I wanted back then was for her to open up.'' Fate curiously looked at the solemn face of her classmate.

''But'' once again she looked at Fate '' in the end Suzuka slapped me and told me to back off…and even after the three of us became friends…she never once told us what happened…'' Arisa leaned farther backwards looking up into the changing sky.

''I am more than sure that something happened to Nanoha before we met her! Something that must have traumatized her and left her unable to say anything about it! We asked her parents about her lone self before, but they only told us that she was a lively energetic girl, but she changed after her fathers 'accident'…and that Yuuno…'' she growled and her teeth gritted together, Fate only observed her and asked ''What happened?''

''I can only speculate but…''she clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palm further ''I believe ferret boy Yuuno got to know her before us, proclaimed his so called undying love or said something about being Nanoha's bride when he's grown up to his daddy…one leads to another and the Yakuza Boss sent his henchmen to force an appointed marria-…''

''Wait up! Wait up! Wait up! Are you trying to tell me that the Japanese Mafia would hurt Shiro-san only to let that greeny weenie have Nanoha…'' Fate interrupted before Arisa made more of this story than necessary, knowing now that the younger blond - no matter how mature she seemed – was also only a 16 year old teenager.

''Sorry but your story truly 'is' only speculation.''

Arisa's veins popped, she was treated like a kid and didn't like it one bit.

''Oh~ so do you have a better idea on what could have happened?'' she pried.

A smile followed by soft chuckling was the only answer Arisa got.

''Come lunch break's nearly over and we haven't eaten anything yet.''

Arisa was dumbfounded, she couldn't believe that the other blond would change subjects so fast. Weren't there still unanswered questions? Didn't she want to know more? What was the point of staying back in class if they wouldn't talk about what the blond wanted to know the most?!

She clenched er fists '' DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY NANOHA DOESN'T WANT TO BE A LESBIAN?!'' Arisa screamed, out of breath, huffing but she was ready to hit the woman before her…if necessary.

Fate stopped.

But she didn't turn.

Arisa could hear the large breaths the other took.

Somehow it frightened her a little…

''Tell me'' Fate half turned her head.

Her piercing burgundy eyes void of any emotions.

To be continued …

And here it is! The twelves chapter of FirstS XD Before I forget to upload it today ... XP

Man what a ride … you all stayed with me for twelve whole weeks! I thank you very much!

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

I'm curious to see if Arisa will spill the beans about Nanoha.

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294




Sha Yurigami

Arisa backed away a little. Even thought she knew that her new classmate could be a little inhuman, still to actually see that woman towering like a black obelisk within the rows of tables, made her appear more than intimidating.

''Nanoha'' she gulped, before she proceeded ''Nanoha, is burdened by two things…'' the older blond raised an eye-brow.

''She-…a while back, when me and Suzuka got together I think it happened…I think…she forced herself to believe that we wouldn't be her friends anymore, now that we are a couple…'' she raised her left hand and pulled at her bangs.

''I believe she thought that she…that she lost us…betrayed her…left her behind…'' two tears escaped her eyes, the one in the gakuran walked over to her and pat her head.

''You don't have to force yourself to tell me. I will ask her myself when the time comes.'' but the younger blond didn't stop crying ''I will make her happy.'' Arisa looked up to her slightly ''I make her smile, make her feel loved and protected. I promise so please stop crying or it will look like I bullied you when someone comes by.''

And Arisa stopped.

Looking farther up and saw the sincere eyes of the other.

''You promise that you will save her?''

At that question Fate looked at her seriously ''What do you mean with 'save her'?''

''You already know that that Yuuno guy is from a Yakuza family'' Fate didn't move an inch and Arisa felt nervous ''Well he actually has really laid his eyes on Nanoha! And that ferret brat with his henchman! Because of him nearly everyone in school is afraid of associating with Nanoha!'' She growled.

''What about you?'' Fate asked her. ''Well me and Suzuka are from rich families and have each a private army, so that doesn't really matter to us.'' she answered, Fate then grabbed Arisa's shoulders.

''Thank you very much for the information!'' she said then walked towards her seat and out of the bag she pulled a phone and handed it to Arisa.

''I promise that I will always protect Nanoha, but to do so, please use this phone and call someone for me. I have to rush to the principle before lunch break's over.''

Fate quickly instructed her whom she had to call and what she had to say. At Fate's requested item Arisa was flabbergasted and her jaw dropped. Then the older blond ran off.

When Nanoha and Suzuka returned from the break they saw a pale Arisa sitting in her seat.

At the sight Nanoha went over to her ''Arisa-chan what happened? Have you even eaten anything during break?''

Arisa turned her head like a clockwork slowly spins and said ''This country is crazy…'' she trailed off after she saw the smirking taller blond sitting next to her…The trio practically jumped out off their socks from the shock of seeing the woman 'When did she…?'

After that school was over uneventfully, Nakajima-sensei ranted about how they should learn more for their exams that are starting two months and how they shouldn't exaggerate in their private activities mainly directed to the soon-to-be-wed.

And so on the quartet was on their way home…

Or so Fate thought.

''What do you mean with 'I have to go to cram school'? I thought we could walk home together!?'' she screamed earning a stern look from the flaxen-brunettes.

''How many times do I have to tell you? Seriously! We have exams coming in two months! And unlike you'' she pointed an accusing finger at the accused blond ''who's a genius in everything'' she grew in volumes '' 'we' have to study hard to finish those exams with a passable grade! Or else 'we' have to repeat grades!''

She immediately after her outburst stomped off into the direction of her cram school, leaving her slightly laughing friends and a sobbing Fate behind.

''Oh, that's right.'' Suzuka turned towards the cowering blond ''You still haven't told us why you are making Nanoha's life so difficult?''

''Why does it sound so bad when you are speaking of it so out loud…ya truly make it hard on my conscious…'' Fate turned towards them once more eying the direction to where Nanoha ran off to, she could smell a familiar scent …too familiar to her liking.

''Well, actually ma princess kissed me, so Ah got back 'ere wit' 'er to propose to 'er parents, they approved an' Ah'em getting married to her.''

''Could you please drop the accent or slang or whatever, please?!'' Arisa screamed irritated because of the older blonds habit to switch between polite and slang or accent speech, which made it hard for her to understand the irritating blond,

''Sowwie~ 'tis an habit of mine'' Fate answered scratching the back of her head, while the two girls just stared at her blankly.

''Ah, before I forget it, what did the person I told you to call say?'' the burgundy eyed politician asked the younger blond earning a curious glance from Suzuka.

''They said 'IT' is already on the way…within a week or so…''Arisa answered and gave a glance towards her girlfriend, that everything will be explained later.

Fate smiled, but stopped ''Don't you also have cram school?''

Both nodded.

''Then let's go together!''

Both shot her an unreasonable look.

''Just so that I know where it is and'' 'to protect her when necessary' the blond thought already scheming.

Earlier she smelled gun powder.

to be continued …

And her is once again the next chapter...

Somehow I'm loosing ideas for what to write in my Author notes... that's why I decide to give you a little preview for every next chapter from now on!


''What's up with you anyway!?'' she still had her stern look but pouted, making Fate blush ''You always wear nothing but black and you always hide your skin from me! Why?

Nanoha tugged on the black glove covering Fate's right hand, but…

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

I wonder what this mysterious "IT" who's coming.

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294




Sha Yurigami

It was pointless…

It really was pointless…

She lost again today.

Both her and the blond laid on the carpeted floor in her room.

Both were somewhat exhausted – scratch that!

The blond was smiling like an idiot!

She couldn't believe it…she covered her face in shame and embarrassment.

How could she do that?!

It all started this morning.

The sun wasn't even up but that didn't stop the pelican swarm in the slightest.

She looked up from the rooftop and followed the birds with her eyes. They carried strange looking boxes with them as they flew above the button eyed version of her.

Something was off though.

As her black button eyes looked up into the shining sky, a ball was falling down.

It was fast, had blond hair, an evil smirk and gentle burgundy eyes.

It landed right on top of her…

It was suffocating.


She couldn't breath.

But something smelled nice and tickled her nostrils with it's sweet fragrance. She lifted her hands to feel the objects laying atop her.

Soft and yet firm.

She squeezed a little more, earning a melodious humming. She sunk deeper into the valley of whatever was hindering her regular breathing. The feeling of safety and love wouldn't leave her…

Until she heard:

''What a way to wake up…''

Her mind blanked and she began to quiver ''You know'' 'Oh gosh!' ''thought you could've just woken me up a kiss.''

She immediately jumped up against the wall and spread her arms searching for something to hold on. String occurred right before her, where a smiling blond shifted into a sitting position. That look on her face was as goofy as well as perverted – how that combination can even exist is beyond her – but it scared her one heck of a hell out of her.

''Na~no-ha! You little perv!''

A tiny little bird just died in her heart.

The first of seven that day.

''So~'' the blond devil approached her further, face only inches from her burning red face ''Do you want to continue?'' the steam of embarrassment lifted and anger steam escaped out of her head.

Before the blond could even joke away she got a powered up chop on the head.

When they ate breakfast, thought she got a bump on her head, the overly radiant smile grazing Fate's lips made some of the Takamachi's cringe.

Nanoha blushed the whole time.

''Ara~'' Nanoha's blush intensified.

''Ara ara~'' she looked up to the radiance standing behind the kitchen counter. That overly happy grin, that sparkling eyes, that perverted giggling.

Her grave was already dug today.

''So finally happened ~~~!'' her mother intensified her brightness tenfold. Shiro's coffee flew over his right as it gushed out of his mouth and nose. Kyouya slammed his head on his beacon. Miyuki chocked and coughed on her milk.

Immediately all of them glared at the giggling blond ''Na~no-ha became so bold this morning.'' she swooned and the eldest Takamachi woman with her.

Shiro pulled out his katana unsheating it. Kyouya pulled out two daggers. Miyuki pulled out shuriken and kunai's from her sleeves.

''No, now…I didn't do anything!'' Nanoha shot her face towards the blond, her eyes begging ''It was Nanoha who'' 'Oh gosh!' ''fondled'' 'I beg you!' ''my'' ''I do anythin you want but don't say it!'' Nanoha slammed the blonds face into her chest, muffling her in the process.

Then she remembered something…

Her eyes widened…

Her face paled…

Sweat erupted everywhere on her body…

She…she…she said her last statement out loud … and worse…

The Takamachi's blinked at each other.

Nanoha now resembled a pale corpse that was chocked to death, the blond still in her bust.

Momoko also blinked…her lips quivered…her breathing hitched…her mind blanked -no, it filled up-…her eyes began to spin like a slot machine…

The letters appearing on her eyes: Yu-Ri

And then it began, it was a dim light at first…slowly growing until her radiance outshined the sun!

On the contrary the rest of the family looked like dried up corpses ''Na-…no…ha…how could…you…? they asked their lives escaping out of their dried up mouths.

Right then another little bird died in her heart.

But it wouldn't stop on that level of embarrassment.

The soon-to-be-wed made their way to school…in silence and embarrassment. The shorter flaxen-brunettes was still blushing like crazy, keeping her distance to the humming blond. They didn't notice that a pair of glasses has noticed them and that droll escaped the owners mouth.

Just as they were close to the school gates, Nanoha notice the glances and stares of several people around her. They all mumbled something to their individual groups of friends.

Forgetting her distress for the moments, her worries and burden returned – no, got worse. Her mood turned gloomy. Until she felt a reassuring touch on her shoulder. She looked to her left and found a warm smile greeting her eyes.

Immediately after seeing and feeling that warmth, she felt safe.

Fate averted her eyes and glared at anyone who dared to look at her fiance inappropriately. Nanoha felt relieved by the concern the blond showed towards her and together they went to their classroom … except suddenly Fate was summoned to the principle.

As Fate was dragged away by a teacher she looked at Nanoha with puppy dog eyes 'Cute' she immediately gave herself a mental slap.

At lunch time the blond returned.

Fate and Nanoha met in the hallway…or…should I say…collide?

Well Nanoha exited the room together with Arisa and Suzuka. A very agitated Fate ran into the direction of the classroom. Just around the respective corner, the flaxen-brunette and the blond collide with each other.

Everything went so fast…

Nanoha had her eyes closed, though she landed on something soft…

Something felt strange…

A good and pleasing kind f strange…

She had to muffle a moan…

Then she opened her eyes…

Everyone was staring at her with their jaws hanging down…

She blushed…

Something was tickling her tights…

She paled…

Her eyes became watery…

Then she heard sniffling and a warm breath flushed against the place…between…her tights.

She became more red the more time passed…

Her eyes wandered downwards…

She saw blond hair from under her skirt…

Beneath her…

Pressed down by her groin…

Was the face of one Fate Testarossa Harlaown.

She immediately jumped up and pressed her skirt down, to avoid panty shots. She flushed and incredible shade of red.

The blond's eyes were hidden.

She slowly got up while everyone around her began to stammer. Then a gloved hand touched her bottom lip, a blush accompanied by a dreamy gaze appeared on her face ''I'' she began to speak blushing even more ''I had Nanoha in my mouth.''

Right then another tiny bird died in her heart.

''Nanoha-chan are you alright?'' a concerned Suzuka asked her friend. Nanoha on the other hand gloomily looked at her unopened bento. Her lifeless eyes let them sweat drop…on the contrary a certain blond haired politician was smiling from ear to ear with a certain degree of radioactivity surrounding her.

Both spouses didn't realize that the popped their chopsticks apart simultaneously and chomped on their food at the same time.

Fate noticed immediately that something was amiss in her bento, yet she didn't really know what, so she took the bottle of water next to her and drank the liquid.

Before she gulped the fluids, her glance went to her fiance's bento then to her fiance…her fae was bright red and steam seemed to escape her open mouth, she sweated and tears began to appear on the brim of her eyes.

Their eyes met…

Nanoha immediately grabbed the blond's face and pressed her lips against hers, trying t suck the liquid out of the blond's mouth and gulped it down her throat.

Ten seconds passed until her head shot back and grabbed the water in Fate's right hand, gulping the whole content in one go. Parting from the object on her lips she sighed…


Realization kicked in…

She slowly…

…looked around…

Shocked and terrified expressions…

Jaws smashing the concrete…

And two friends who had their eyes nearly gushing out of their sockets.

Then her terrified eyes wandered to the blond on her right…

Both were blushing furiously…

''I wanted to tell you that you might have gotten my special all wasabi filled spicy bento from Momoko-san…and that I got…yours…''

The once so confident politician was reduced to a stammering schoolgirl…well Nanoha was no better ''I-I-I-I-…I am…sorry.'' she apologized just or even more red than the older blond.

Should I mention that another little bird died…well what does it matter.

Later that day during P.E. Fate was excused from the activities. Today was just warming up and a small race, nothing out of the ordinary, except…a little bit apart from the track field the boys began to chat not far from Nanoha.

''Man why must that blondy always torture us like that?''

''What'cha mean?''

''Common don't you want to see those boobs jiggle when she's running?''

The other boys blushed and giggled perverted.

''To bad she's a dyke…kind of wasted on Takamachi, but I would love to fu-…'' Enough was enough, Nanoha snapped spun around and kicked the boy who was speaking so impolitely into the groin. Then she want on with her running. The boy instantly fell onto his knees while his friends looked perplexed at the distancing girl.

She pouted and had furrowed brows ''Nanoha-chan? What was that about?'' Suzuka asked her slightly shocked.

They still ran a good distance until Nanoha answered her ''It's just that theaaaah!'' she tripped on the foot of the boy she kicked earlier…apparently he was on the track team…bad luck…

But she didn't fall completely.

An arm tried to catch her but it only resulted in her spinning head first on the arm while landing in an awkward position on the ground.

The arm she noticed belonged to none other then Fate Testarossa, who now glared at the very perplexed and frightened boy. Then she suddenly turned to Nanoha…blinked…and began to blush …

The position Nanoha landed in, contained her laying with her upper back on the ground with her feet touching the ground above her head and her butt accidentally pointed itself towards the blond… and what's worse, during their stunt Nanoha's sports pants were hanging on the back of her knees showing her ,today , pink undies to the world.

Nanoha's blushed spread across her body nothing could make this situation any worse.

''Um-…that is-…don't…you think…doing it in public is-…kind of embarrassing…'' Fate said, fact to fatality…

Good bye little bird, we will not forget your noble sacrifice!

Right after school, well after the furious Tetarossa hung the boy on the flag pole and threatened the school director and teachers to let any punishment pass…especially the blond as she fetched off the teachers as they wanted them to stop their 'inappropriate activities' which made the politician angry where as she took one teacher as a hostage…and so on, and so on…well after school the couple made a beeline home.

Both blushed furiously from the events before…

It was nerve wrecking.

''Good job defending us…'' Nanoha complemented, to distracted by her own mental conflicts to realize that the blond went once again over the top.

Before they realized it, they were standing before their home,

''Good job not g-…'' the blond tried to reply, but got a cake into the face knocking her out.

Nanoha blinked and shivered…

She knew…

She already knew, that…

That tis is going to be the real punishment!

''Na-no-ha'' a malicious voice full of evil intentions called out for her.

She didn't want to turn…

She really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really…really really didn't want to turn around!

''Look at me Nanoha.''

She cringed and mentally screamed when a cold hand sucked the warmth out of her left shoulder.

She slowly turned her head…hesitant…frightened…

Behind her stood the proud figure of Takamichi Momoko, her demonic aura ever present.

And the rest of the family cowering in a far away corner.

The air around the older woman seemed to burn and her eyes sparkled with whatever could have triggered this reaction.

She held a spatula in her hand and the gibbering mass called Nanoha knew exactly what came next:


''Hai…?'' she had to make sure she didn't mishear.

''Was that a question?'' the older flaxen-brunette asked her sweetly.

''No!'' the youngest daughter prostrated before her mother while a certain blond was still unconscious.

The blond politician awakened instantly as she heard whimpers. She shot up and ran towards the source of the sound, spotting a few members of her new family laying unconscious on the ground. She immediately grabbed hold of her soon-to-be-brother-in-law.

''Brother what happened?!''

He groaned ''Who…allowed you…to call me brother?…Forg't it…Nanoha…''

She pried for more information ''What about Nanoha?!''

''…save… from…demon…'' and he lost conscious once more.

Fate paled, then she heard a devilish giggling coming from the kitchen. A demonic presence that even made her shiver. But she had to fight the malice away…for Nanoha…

She looked around the corner to the kitchen and instantly flushed beet red.

''So my dear Nanoha, I hope you now know how a wedding cake feels?'' Momoko said overly sweetly to her daughter as she put the rest of the icing away.

''Ye-eehs…I'm sorry~~~…please forgive meeeeh~!''

Fate's jaw, for the first time in her life, dropped down with blood dripping from her nose.

There she stood, her fiance, in all her beauty…covered completely in white icing…decorated with into rosebuds formed white and pink marzipan…looking like a …bride?

Surely the blond drooled over the cleavage and the slide on the left side of the dress like construction, showing her long and slender legs…her wrists were above her head chained to the ceiling.

''Ah! 'Fate-san'.'' crap the demon noticed her, she slowly spun her head towards the older woman ''Momoko-sama…?''

''Ara ara, I just thought of letting the Koi fishes in the pond eat the sugar off of her, but now that you are here…'' The flaxen-brunette woman smiled devilish ''Please continue where you left off this morning XD and eat to your hearts content!''

Fate gulped. She didn't -no- could never dare to believe that her beloved Nanoha's mother would be so…so…perverted.

Then her gaze wandered to Nanoha's pleading eyes.

''Common I know that you already did it twice with all that screaming and cursing! Hurry up!''

With a shot gun and bullets covered in white icing, Takamachi Momoko just killed a little bird inside her daughters heart.

''Just what does my family think of me anyway?'' Nanoha thought aloud. She was inside the bathroom and scrubbed away the white confection off of her skin.

''But I have to thank Fate-chan somehow'' the blond saved them from farther humilation, explaining to her mother that they hadn't done it 'yet' and that today many unfortunate situations happened.

At that her mother flushed beet red stammering apologize to her and Fate over and over again.

In the end Fate carried her towards the bathroom.

''I wonder why she didn't come in then.'' it indeed felt strange, that the normally perverted politician didn't take the chance to see her object of affection naked.

When Nanoha exited the bathroom, with her nighties on, she went over to her room. On her bed sat Fate, still clothed in her trademark black claok that covered most of her skin. Nanoha frowned ''Why didn't you bath with me?'' she asked the blond who then noticed her standing close.

She smiled ''I don't like my body…'' Nanoha blinked at that ''…and I was already allowed to see you decorated as a bride'' the flaxen-brunette pouted which the blond noticed.

''Don't pout like that. You looked beautiful and I wish you could wear something like that on your wedding.'' A vein popped and she threw herself onto the blond.

The flaxen-brunette straddled the blond's waist and was ready to hit her head.

''Na-noowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow…!'' the smaller girl showered her with hits until she grabbed both of Nanoha's wrists and sat up pressing her forehead against the shorter girl's.

''I meant a 'real' dress…but now I know just how your mind ticks.''



1… there goes another head-butt, but it somehow failed…

''Nanoha! Fate-chan!I'm really sor-'' Momoko stormed into Nanoha's room, she still felt guilty for her misunderstandings…

Until she saw her daughter and her soon-to-be-son-in-law lips locking on her daughters bed.

The spouses parted, looking at each other wide eyed and perplexed.

They turned their heads toward an embarrassed and stammering Momoko-san ''Sorry to disturb you!'' she screamed slamming the bedroom door behind her.

Nanoha paled.

She fell off her bed and landed on her carpeted floor, while Fate began to laugh stupidly, soon joining her on the floor smiling like an idiot.

Nanoha only muttered, face in her hands from shame and embarrassment ''This is the most embarrassing day of my life…''

''Happy ta be 'ere to 'hare it wit' ya!''

to be continued ...

And here is the extra chapter! As Promised XD

I will update these extra chapters once in a while! The next one will show up after chap 15. together with a list as to which Firsts were already taken and which are to be taken!

For those who want to know, this story will have some action elements very soon, and I hope that it won't be discordant to you or anything, because I really am giving it my all to write it as epic for you lot as I can!

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

Momoko is a force to be reckoned with, forcing her daughter to be a wedding cake, complete with the icing. XD

Hytue-san's picture
Joined: 12/29/2010
Posts: 10

Lol this story is epic.
<3 it Sha-san!! xD
Can't wait for the next update~

it looks like rain...

Hearts Cross's picture
Joined: 11/11/2011
Posts: 456

Thank you so much!! <3

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294




Sha Yurigami

''I hope that you can explain me why you're tailing Nanoha'' a pony tailed blond asked out of nowhere. The wooden bars where his feet stood on cracked by the weight of multiple others who stepped up to him.

He was in the center of the crowed, each pair of eyes was directed solely towards him. When he lifted his head everyone around bowed before him. When he raised his mouth they went onto their knees like he was something to worship.

''Bon'' the one closest to him spoke, his bald head shone from the few rays of light within the room ''if you want to make her your bride'' he looked up to the blond boy seeing green eyes piercing through him ''then we will assist You with everything we got.''

And he smiled madly.

Somewhere in the city.

''Say Nanoha, don't you also feel that someone is watching us?'' a certain blond askeda shorter light fire-red haired girl who stomped ahead of her.

''As crazy as you are I do believe that your paranoia can get worse!'' the girl yelled not turning around to face her fiancee.

''Na-no~ha! What did I do wrong 'today'? '' the blond winced at Nanoha's cold exterior.

''You did it again! You idiot Fate-chan!'' Nanoha yelled and Fate laughed sheepishly ''And don't laugh! How the hell could you do that!?''

''Well I saw that guy touching your hand an-''

''He only handed me some papers! That doesn't give you the right to ambush me in the toilet t-to-to…'' Nanoha blushed hiding her face under her bangs.

''To kiss you while you were taking a pee?'' Following after that statement was a chop on her head by her dear fiancee.

''H-How-How did you get into the booth?!'' Fate held up both hands intertwining her left hand with her right and pointing the forefingers upwards, she lowered her upper body and said ''I was raised by Ninjas nin nin!'' She got a roundhouse kick into her face.

In a not so far away distance, a pair of glasses stuck out of a bush.

Apparently the city decided to plant every 100 meters a long a street one bush or Ginko tree.

Back to business, the glasses had a gleam in them while observing the 'domestic love' -at which people kept their distance from-. The still arguing pair moved on, shocking the glasses.

Always a bush behind them, the pair of glasses followed, until…

''Okay! Okay! I forgive you! But you have to help me study for the test tomorrow!'' the flaxen-brunette demanded pointing her finger directly on the blonds nose. Normally the one the finger was pointed at would cringe or sweet or would look perplexed…Normally…

''Yay! I teach you anything you want Nanoha!''

Nanoha eyed her ''You seem awfully happy Fate-chan'' the glasses began to sparkle in a rose colored fashion and the scene before them appeared like this:

Fate clothed in a radiant yellow light and with her standard black cloak smiled brightly at her blushing princess Nanoha, as she caressed the cheek of her love with her right hand with utmost care. Their gazes drew closer, their lips perked preparing for the gentle and soft fusing of their lips.

''My Nanoha''

''My Fate-chan''

In reality those two were still arguing about Fate's bad habits ''Why are you so possessive? And why do you look so overly happy?!'' Nanoha asked the ever beaming blond. ''Bu~~t! I'm gonna be Nanoha's very first home tutor!'' she happily exclaimed smiling like an idiot.

''What makes you think you're the first?'' Nanoha asked the still beaming blond while pointing her index finger right at Fate, poking her chest in the process.

''''Well~~~! As you already know! Ah've got every information on you that Ah could get!'' the politician had a dreamy look on her face ''Ah~~~~! She moaned while placing her left hand on her chest and stretching the other upwards ''My first tutoring!''

Nanoha walked away leaving the blond to herself.

The glasses began to mist up and panting sound escaped out of the bush.

''Nanoha! Don't leave me behind!'' Fate yelled after her stopping the leaving flaxen-brunette by the shoulder. It was a gentle pat…yet that gesture was enough to upset her;she turned around to face the blond. The stern looked she had on her face was enough for Fate to catch her breath, especially when Nanoha took her outstretched right hand into her own.

''What's up with you anyway!?'' she still had her stern look but pouted cutely making Fate blush ''You always wear nothing but black, and you always hide your skin from me! Why?'' Nanoha tugged on the black glove covering Fate's right hand, but…Fate pulled her hand away distancing herself from her fiancee.

Nanoha was about to smirk at the blond, but she stopped while her eyes widened.

Fate's face held am´n expressions of terror, sadness, fright, hurt and worst loneliness. Her hand was held close to her heart covering it with her other hand. The few loose strands of hair fell onto her face.


Fate lifted her head and looked to the side, embarrassment plastered her face, yet for Nanoha it hurt to see the sadness in those burgundy eyes.

''It's…nothing'' Fate said awakened by the concerned tone in Nanoha's voice, ''It's not nothing if you react like that…'' Nanoha calmly tried to reach out for Fate hands, but the blond walked casually past her, leaving her perplexed and confused behind.

Nanoha shot her head into the direction Fate headed off to. The blond's head turned, her mouth spoke ''Let's head back home or I can't tutor you!'' she sheepishly grinned…but Nanoha knew that it didn't reach her eyes.

The last few days made her learn of some of Fate's standard actions, and it truly were only six days since they…yet the gap couldn't disappear the easily.

AS they went on towards their destination Fate suddenly turned around. Nanoha also stopped in her tracks to see what the blond was planning to do.

Sweat silently dropped from the spectacles as the blond approached the bush they were hiding in.

''Don't you think that it's rude of you to spy on us?'' Fate demanded shocking the slowly approaching Nanoha ''Who are you?''

Right in the moment where she wanted to ask if the blond was sane for talking to a bush, through much rustling a person emerged out of the leafwork.

Nanoha stopped in her tracks, eyes as wide open as saucers as she looked at a bespectacled light brown haired -in twin braids – woman who stood with leafs sticking everywhere, right in the middle of that same bush Fate was talking to.

The twin braided girl was averting her gaze, looking anywhere but the two before her, head hung low and her glasses were gliding down along her nose bridge. She was flushed beet red and nervously looked from one side to another, fidgeting with her fingers and gaping her mouth slightly.

''So~! Do you believe me now that we were spied on, Nanoha?'' Fate smirked looking at the also gaping girl in amusement.

''I-I'm not-…a spy'' the girl quietly said with a meek voice holding her shivering hands close to her chest.

''And what are you then? Following after us in such a suspicious manner?'' Fate asked cossing her arms over her chest, still ignoring the dumbfounded shocked expression of Nanoha.

The girl in question gulped and shyly looked down before looking straight into piercing burgundy eyes. Feeling her determination floating away she quickly said:

''I'm a manga artist ! And you two are excellent material!''


to be continued…

The next special chapter will be up after chapter 15.

I hope you have enjoyed this chapter and that you will stay with me when the roller coaster takes off for real in the coming chapters XD


''To your information, I and Nanoha aren't even in a relationship.''

It pierced through her heart, a feeling she didn't want to name…

How-How could this be?!

Why was she feeling this way?!

Why does it hurst so much just hearing Fate say those words?

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

I wonder what could frighten Fate so much.

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294

And here is chapter 15! I hope you like it XD




Sha Yurigami

Sitting on a coach in the middle of the room, one holding a bored expression with dead fish eyes looking straight ahead, the other still looking as as if a board hit her hard on. Both sitting idly on this neat and bouncy couch surrounded…by…a room…full…of…junk.

The floor was covered by an immeasurable number of scattered paper, ink and broken pens and pencils with only a few specks of the mahogany colored wooden ground. To their left were three tables with different height and usage: the little table, lying diagonally, commonly used by artists with a stake of paper covering most of it. A coffee table where different brands atop and three coffee machines, one old school percolators, an high tech one and one that uses pads.

On the third table were…many different…kinds of…figurines…in daring poses, as well as one that can only be described if this story would be M-Rated. Placating the walls were scribbles and standard layouts for Manga Pages and Magazines as well as framed pictures of the inhabitant o this place as well as a blue haired woman next to her.

Both blinked simultaneously, the whole living room was a total mess. When she came out of the kitchen a tray with mugs was in her hands. She set the steaming mugs on the table right before the soon-to-be-wed and set down herself on a chair that stood near her desk.

They sat in silence for a while. The peering eyes staring at her made her feel uncomfortable and she began to fidget with her fingers again, until ''Don't you have something to tell us?'' the blond before the bespectacled brunette with those piercing burgundy eyes demanded. The girl in question winced visibly.

'W-Well…it's nice to meet you…'' she began, looking at her hands again, but stealing some glances at the pair before her. But neither said anything ''We-Well, my name is Watanabe Quattro…I am half Spain and a 19 years old m-Mangaka…I'm-…known by the artist name Hasegawa Ryu…'' she shyly admitted.

''Wait!'' for the first time in forty-five minutes Takamachi Nanoha claimed a word ''You're Hasegawa-sensei!? The artist of Love Choice One ?!''

Quattro blinked at the sudden outburst of the girl and began to tear up with a goofy grin plastering her face ''S-So you know my first serialization!'' she exclaimed happily.

''Of course! I have all thirteen takobons and three art books of the series! I'm a big fan!'' Nanoha squealed, not noticing the shocked expression on Fate's face, to say it was priceless would be an underestimatment. And while those two began to squeal and laugh, Fate received a vibrating in her cloak pocket.

She reached into her fabric and pulled out a black mobile phone. She tucked the display open and looked who was calling her, then she felt embarrassment washing over her, when she realized that her ring-tone was the title melody of Utena. Nanoha and Quattro had troll faces upon seeing the flustered blond receiving her phone call ''Hello?'' she immediately shot up and walked towards the kitchen, shooting the now confused girls a look that clearly said Follow ad you're dead!

Left behind, the two of them resumed the conversation from earlier.

''So why was it that you followed me and Fate-chan earlier?'' the brunette laughed weakly ''Um…you see…I kind of have to change directions in my works…my editor said a…nd suggested ,me, doing a Yuri one-shot for a popular Shojo Magazine…'' when she finished she looked up to see the baffled expression of the auburn haired girl.

She began to stutter once more ''W-Well…I -I can understand, wh-why you're so surprised'' she muttered trying to sound calm before Nanoha stammered ''B-But that is-…''

''Y-You see, when I was in search for inspiration , w-hen I saw you two arguing…'' she trailed off making it harder for Nanoha to understand her.

Nanoha, was confused.

''A-and I kind of saw, heard''

Nanoha, was still confused. Had she head right…her favorite Mangaka…was going into the one direction slash genre, she never read,…with herself and her 'stalker' as the bases of that particular genre story…she felt confused and tired.

''How you two…in-interacted l-like…a married couple!'' Quattro held both her cheeks sawying side to side on her chair while squealing like a maniacal fan girl.

''So…?'' Nanoha massaged her temples with both hands, the fatigue she felt from arguing with Fate returned and…she felt annoyed ''What made you think we are?'' Nanoha asked angrily , that feeling , that gut turning feeling still didn't leave and she had to push her frustrations away ''We are anywhere close to what you're implying!'' her voice was cracking at the end of her sentence, a burning sensation entered her mouth, setting it aflame.

She couldn't believe it!

She couldn't believe that everyone around her made fun of her!

Sh-She wasn't…''I-I'm not a lesbian'' she said meekly, not convincing anyone, not trying to.

She just had to voice it…the cage she's being held had no room for anything ''We-Well…But the way you were talking and interacting with her…'' Quattro began but stopped as she saw Nanoha's glare.

''You should better start with accepting and lecturing yourself first before trying to do it on others.'' a commanding voice voice echoed through the apartment. The twin braided girl's eyes widened, her bottom lip quivered and it seemed that her whole body was shaking ''Ah-I- ah-…'' she couldn't mutter a word, her mind in a complete hazel.

Loud steps broke through the silence she tried to create, even Nanoha couldn't mutter a word.

She saw it…

She saw the lifeless gleam in those once sad eyes…

It was as if with each step the woman took, a piece of her shattered heart was falling to the ground, to the abyss. The moment she saw Fate's lifeless eyes, she knew that the blond had heard her…she regretted how those tiny words hurt her so much 'Why am I regretting the truth?' she asked herself feeling even worse 'She's the one whose hiding herself under this thick black cloak! Why am I so angry about that!?'

She felt worse the closer the blond got to her ''Don't you have a girlfriend already?'' she said making Quattro sink into her seat farther. Nanoha's eyes shot wide open and eyed the shrinking artist ''I-I'm …'' she tensed up…step by step the politician cam closer and closer to them, the brown haired girl felt afraid ''If you already have a girlfriend, then why? Why did you have to find inspiration in us?'' Fate quickly asked, taking a seat next to a still confused Nanoha.

Neither looked at the other.

''E-Even thought Ah-I have Tres-chan as a g-gi-girlfriend…W-we are still fresh in our'' she blushed considerably ''relationship…'' looking down, fingers still playing with each other.

''For your information, I and Nanoha aren't even in a relationship.''

It pierced through her heart, a feeling she didn't want to name…How-How could this be?! Why was she feeling this way?! Why does it hurt so much just hearing Fate say those words?

''It's true that we are engaged, but we still don't know each other well enough! So how could we possibly be any kind of inspiration'' she balled her clothed fists, looking accusingly onto her tightening fingers ''if your lover can't be it?'' she finished closing her eyes while leaning back into the couch.

''Tres and I…I…I-I'm afraid!'' Quattro admitted tears spilling from her eyes, pushing Nanoha out of her trance and shocking her when she saw the crying girl.

They sat there for a few minutes hearing the poor girl saying she's afraid for the whole time, until Nanoha couldn't take it anymore ''WHY ARE YOU AFRAID!?'' the twin braided girl shot her head up, and Fate eyed her fiancee wide-eyed.

''Are you afraid of what to do? In her memory a small girl with green eyes and blond hair sobbed, pulling at her hair screaming while slamming her head on the ground for what to do with her feelings.

''Are you afraid of what to say?'' a purple haired girl biting her bottom lip so hard that her teeth carved into her flesh, not knowing of what to say to her blond friend as she was destroying herself over her feelings the purple haired girls nails dug into her palms.

Are you feelings afraid of how things with change after knowing her feelings?'' the blond girl asked her purple haired friend, watching her pale, tear up and breaking down, screaming how unfair the girl was for betraying their friendship.

''Are you unsure of what to give up on?'' remembering how their parents were displeased, disturbed, angry while being unable to see them holding together in tears.

Are you afraid of returning her feelings?!'' she screamed, always seeing them unsure, frightened, that the slightest brush would be responded by a repulsive reaction, shivering, uncertainty, so bad that her heart swells in pain with each bump of the muscle in her chest.

Or are you simply afraid of your own feelings!?''Nanoha finished, crying. The memories in her mind, the chest tightened and shattering day all erupting in her mind, the chest tightening and hurtful feelings in her heart and stomach…she couldn't bear it any longer!

She tried to get up, get away,…she never wanted to experience that nightmare ever again…the pain, the tears fell, the hurt…the fright, uncertainty, angst, discomfort, disturbing, hateful…hateful…Yes a short while ago she was left behind, like always, by the people closest to her…by the people she trusted in…by the people who choose one another and left her back in the dark bit of darkness…despair…once more.

She ran while tears fell, the bespectacled girl sat baffled on her chair, tears creeping brimming on the edge of her eyelids…the words hit bulls eyes…Fate immediately shot up and ran after the crying girl who just stormed out of the apartment.

She ran.

Each clack of her shoes on the concrete staircase echoed through the building, two cases behind her was the blond who silently purchased her with fast steps. Coming close to the entrance she pulled the door open and exited, but before she could run off to any direction a gentle voice held her back.


She stood still as the tears ran down her cheeks, she could feel the slight presence of her purchaser …Yet Fate didn't reach out for her…no comfort…

''Were you getting so angry because of Arisa and Suzuka?''

''You don't know how it feels like'' she muttered remembering farther and more against her conscious ''You wouldn't know how it feels like…''

''Wouldn't know how 'what' feels like?'' Fate stood close behind her, with her face hidden under thick shades of her own hair, her trademark single tail swaying from side to side.

''You wouldn't know how it feels loosing your best friends.'' Nanoha's knees shook, each muscle in her legs strained, cramps and made it impossible for her to move.

''I do.'' her eyes widened ,she slowly turned and faced the blond. Ruby orbs with a gleam of regret, lost and sadness met her confused, lonely and evenly sad ones.

''I know how it feels to lose those lonely who are closest to you.'' and once again she balled her fists and glared at them. Nanoha slowly and unconsciously reached out for the blond ''But it isn't like you lost them forever.'' Fate said taking Nanoha's hand into her own, smiling absentmindedly to herself.

A smile Nanoha knew couldn't be true, because Fate's eyes betrayed her.

''But they don't need me…'' Fate swung her free arm around her shoulders and hugged her loosely ''They may have each other, but that doesn't mean that they stopped being who they are. They never stop thinking of you as their friend, they will always care for you and in times of need will come to you for advice. You will always be their friend…or do you not want them to…'' she suddenly held Nanoha's shoulders an arms lengths away ''Nanoha, you shouldn't…'' before she could mutter her little joke, Nanoha craned her head forward and planted a soft kiss onto the blond's cheek.

It didn't last long. But it was more than enough to say everything and nothing at the same time. After Nanoha lifted her lips away from Fate's warm cheek, she leaned her head against the crook of her shoulder, still holding onto the gloved hand.

At that sudden reaction, all Fate could dare to do, was to lay her head on top of the auburn haired tresses.

''I'm glad that you're back to your perverted self again, Nyahaha'' she let go of the blond and walked back to the door of the apartment complex, turning around…and bowing deeply before a startled Fate ''I'm sorry for being insensitive before and won't do anything to make you feel uncomfortable again!'' she half screamed waiting for any sort of shocked reaction or that she doesn't have to apologize…

But it never happened, only two tears appeared on the blond's cheeks, when Nanoha didn't hear anything, she looked up. After seeing the tears on Fate's cheeks she panicked instantly after seeing the fluid, her arms shot up to do something.

But she had no idea what to do so her arms were simply hanging in the air, until Fate took hold of them and pressed her lips on each palm.

Nanoha squirmed and blushed furiously, even when Fate stopped and chuckled she couldn't get lose of her stunt face ''Thanks I appreciate it.'' she moved together with the still embarrassed Nanoha up to the artists apartment.

Holding her left hand with her right that is…

''Oh and before I forget it'' Fate faced her more, a wicked smile on her face ''How many firsts did I take today?'' her smile never left her face until -


Nanoha shocked herself and Fate with her more than accurate answer.

''Oh, I didn't think you also did count them.''

''Wa-Wait you're counting how many firsts you've taken from me!?''

''No, I only counted how many you took from me, which I have to say were seven.''


''That means that you own me two more firsts.'' Fate exclaimed happily poking Nanoha's cheek playfully. When they arrived once more in Quattro's apartment a terrible sght greeted them.

The twin braided girl was laying on the couch and cried into the fabric and materials laying all around her. Fate as well as Nanoha went towards the sobbing girl, trying to sooth her.

After many moist tissues and blown noses Nanoha began to talk about Arisa and Suzuka. , how they slowly developed a different kind of a relationship over the time. How she observed her friends since childhood, seeing how they brightened her life a little.

That when they got older, the way they looked at another was different than the way they looked at her. When Arisa first realized her feelings, how she punished screamed and cursed herself and how Nanoha couldn't do anything.

As well as Suzuka, even after they got together, they still had hardships…like their parents…or how those around them changed the way they interacted with them…

But most of all…how distant and far away they seemed…how lonely she felt.

''After seeing how hard it is and how lonely I felt…I then knew that being a lesbian means giving up everything that ties you to the normal world…But I do realized that being one isn't bad and that my friends didn't change, I just can't help but feel that they left me behind sometimes…'' Nanoha finished but didn't cry, the gentle circles drown on her palm soothed the attaching considerably.

''Don't feel down for something that isn't true… as long as your feelings reach the one you love, everything is alright.'' Fate reassured lifting their intertwined hands and kissed Nanoha's palm. Said girl blushed but never turned her head, still patting Quattro. She nodded but only lifted her face for a brief smile before leaning back on the couch ''I'm sorry for being a crybaby…''

''It doesn't matter. It's just good to know that you're still considering her feelings'' the blond net to her suddenly grabbed her own chin in a thinking manner ''But it's never clever to enter a relationship half backed'' ruffling her hair ''So you better try to figure out your own feelings before anything else'' Fate then looked on the clock hanging over the coffee table and paled.

''If there are any further problems just contact us!'' Nanoha finished happily getting a thank you from the bespectacled girl before a calm voice that the one thing she was sure took a few years of her life:

''It's already 8pm…Nanoha don't you have a test tomorrow?''Nanoha shot up, grabbed her bag full of textbooks and ran to the front door ''I'm sorry but I have to learn for a test, by!'' as fast as she said that, she was just as fast she was out of sight.

Quattro sweat dropped.

''I would like to say the same as Nanoha, call us if you ever have trouble.'' Fate said casually while leaving the stunned Manga artist alone in her apartment.

Shortly after she left, a blue haired woman walked in and dropped the shopping bag she carried, as she saw Quattro crying ''It's nothing…I'm just happy you're here.'' she said kissing her on the lips. She was still unsure but she now had helpful 'friends'.

As Nanoha ran quickly through the slowly darkening city, Fate already reached her and said ''If we do an all-nighter, then the test wouldn't be a problem!''

Nanoha stopped, realization stabbed her. Fate looked up again smiling sheepishly, followed by her trademark ''Nyahaha''. But Fate knew that something was off.

''Let's hurry back and learn! And if I don't get a good grade tomorrow, then you sleep on the couch permanently!'' Nanoha said walking past the even more confused blond, still worrying…

They were near…

She saw them, through one of the windows, they were taking pictures of her and Fate in the nearby building…

It wasn't over 'It never will' she thought running for dear life.

To be continued…

Well this is chapter 15, this chapter did have a bit of drama, but I hope that it wasn't all that bad … the thing is that I am going on Hiatus for this story…for at least a week…But I promise that this story will burst with real romantic and slightly action!

Here is the usual teaser:

Momoko didn't look up ''To think that he could foresee so far into the future, huh?'' she asked her husband.

''The sad thing is, that he isn't with us anymore…I still own him a lose!''

And here is the special list of all the firsts Fate took of Nanoha and in reverse:

Fate's firsts:

-First time being caught by someone weaker

-first Love-at-first-sight

-first kiss

-first time forcing a name out of someone

-first yearning to possess someone

-first time using governmental intelligence for private use(mainly for stalking purposes)

-first time breaking into the personal room of the stalked person

-first time forcing herself on someone

-first time getting aroused

-first time getting sarcastic

-first time carrying someone princess style

-first time kidnapping someone

-first time meeting your soon-to-be girlfriend/bride parents

-first time proposing

-first time bragging with her political status

-first time getting self-consciousness

-first time feeling regret to force herself into the life of someone

-first time getting flustered

-first time fighting for your bride

-first time crying because of your love is crying

-first time sleeping on the same bed as your love

-first time lusting for your bride

-first time dominating someone

-first time nearly attempting rape

-first confession

-first time getting chopped on her head

-first time feeling intimidated

-first time wrestling with you love

-first time making a love bite

-first time swooning over your love

-first date

-first attempt to hide herself

-first time feeling void

-first time explaining her real reason for being a politician

-first time getting called by her name by the girl she loves

-first time feeling like you belong somewhere

-first time in High-School

-first time kissing while the girl you love is peeing

-first lovers quarrel

-first time being afraid of Nanoha

-first time speaking to a bush

-first time meeting a Mangaka

-first make up with your love

-first time giving advices in love and friendship

Now Nanoha's side:

-first time pulling someone close

-first time seeing burgundy eyes

-first kiss

-first sensual hug

-first time being molested

-first time someone evaded her punches

-first time being carried princes style

-first time getting proposed to

-first time seeing her mothers scary side

-first time having a stranger on her bed

-first time someone nearly raped her for real

-first time intimidate someone

-first time being confessed to

-first date

-first time chopping someone

-first time feeling like she wasn't alone any longer

-first time feeling relieved and saved from all those evil eyes

-first time feeling really annoyed by someone

-first lovers quarrel

-first time meeting a Mangaka

-first time being kissed while peeing

-first time feeling worse then sh*t because she didn't like it that the blond was so indifferent

-first make up with

-first time telling the story of Arisa and Suzuka as well as her own insecurities

-first time being kissed on the hand

-first time feeling afraid for someone else and not herself

I hope you enjoyed this short list and hope that your personal list might complete mine XD

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

I think we learn why Nanoha have so much difficulty admitting she likes the fairer sex.

ditto526's picture
Joined: 08/17/2010
Posts: 295

OK why?

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294

After a long journay I finally came back!

And with me:


The Last Shinigami


Sha Yurigami

They were walking slowly.

The light on the ceiling hurt her eyes.

It's no wonder that the light was bothering her, she just woke up annd her sleepy eyes were still a little sensitive to the brightness.

But it didn't bother her that much, because he was holding her tiny hand in his large one.

She smiled at the warmth she received from him.

He looked down to her and upon seeing her sweet smile he immediately brightened, holding her small hand a little tighter, but not as much as to hurt her.

His large steps echoed through the floor while her tiny steps sounded like the pattering of raindrops.

He wore a complete black attire, his black cloak flowing neatly behind him, while his long blond hair followed the motion.

The one whose hand he's holding, the most important person in his life.

He looked down once more, his long hair casted a shadow over his eyes but that is alright, his reassuring smile warmed her heart.

She was wearing a small version of his cloak and her blond hair also flowed in the same motion his does.

As both walked hand in hand down the white corridor of his hospital, the little girl's curiosity was killing her ''Ne Ne! Papa!''

He picked up her small and soft voice and bent over to come to the same eye-level as her. He smiled at at his five year old daughter ''Fate, we are going to meet friends of mine.''

He giggled as he saw her yawning ''So early?''

He giggled some more while walking straight again, gently patting her head, he simply enjoyed this moment ''I'm sorry that you had to stand up so early, but my friends just received their third child and I wanted you to meet them.''

''Whoa! Three children! The pelican must have come to them many times!'' she exclaimed happily, giggling to herself and swaying her head alongside the rhythm of his hand that still patted her.

He smiled warmly once more, bent down and lifted her up, carrying her on his left arm.

She instantly swung her tiny arms around his neck and rested her golden tresses on his.

Then she heard crying…

She slowly opened her eyes.

She was laying on a warm comforter, did she forget to cover herself with the blanket?

She got up an massaged her temples.

Her blond hair was spread all over the place.

Instantly her eyes shot wide open and she inspected every inch of her body. She sighed, her black attire wasn't removed anywhere and her gloves weren't removed either.

''Thank god it's weekend…'' she whispered absent mindedly when she looked how late it was.

Then she relived her dream, remembering the warmth and how secure she felt ''Another dream of the past.'' she looked down at her hand tenderly ''Actually, it just had to be that day, haha…'' she giggled remembering it…

That day changed her life completely.

''Nanoha! Fate-san! Get up breakfast is ready!''

She looked to her right (yes she was banished onto the futon again) sleeping on that small bed covered by a warm comforter with a bunny pattern, her soon-to-be-wife laid.

Her soft rusty flaxen-brown hair shone in the rising sunlight.

Her angelic face and those full lips drew her in, she was temped to kiss her awake.

Then she stopped.

Through her fiancee's closed eyelids, tears were coming forth 'Again' Fate thought.

For the past two days after their encounter with Quattro, Fate would notice that Nanoha's face was all puffy and her eyes were red. But whenever Fate brought it up Nanoha either said it's nothing or she'd get a soft chop on her head.

Either way it frustrated her greatly!

''I still can't believe that she's supposed to be a politician…'' Shiro muttered under his breath taking the saucers out of the cupboard in the kitchen. He washed his hands after cooking their breakfast and wiped his soaked hands with his apron then walked towards his wife on the couch.

Momoko was holding onto a picture, her fond gaze and gentle smile were practically plastered onto the occupants of the photograph.

He smiled at her and gently pat her shoulders, but Momoko didn't look up ''To think he could foresee so far into the future, huh?''

''The sad thing is that he isn't with us anymore…I still owe him a lose!''

She giggled.

Momoko was aware that her husband was trying to lighten the mood…but that didn't help…

Those eyes…they held so much sadness…

On the picture Momoko held were four people printed on:

The largest one had gray-brown hair and dark eyes full of compassion. His goofy and self-confident grin made him shine, especially in his gakuran.

Next to him stood an auburn haired girl with amethyst eyes. She also smiled brightly while holding onto her girl friend. Both were wearing the regional uniform.

Her friend had light brown-gray hair that reached till her shoulders, dark blue eyes which seemed to reflect the depth of the sea and her left hand held onto the fourth occupant of the picture.

He also wore a gakuran but it was only half closed, his blond hair was tied in a low ponytail which flowed in the imaginary wind. His hands were both in his pockets while the sleeve of his right hand was held by the girl.

His distant and sad eyes pained her whenever she looked at the picture.

She wanted to safe him…but it was her friend who gave his eyes a brightness that couldn't be compared to anyone else.

She fondly caressed the face of her friend, whispering


''I'm sorry to make you wait!'' a loud voice yelled through the house before stumping could be heard on the staircase.

A blond woman emerged carrying a growling girl on her back, when she looked at the older couple she noticed Momoko's teas and asked if everything was okay.

The older woman smiled and held onto the hand of her husband lovingly, at which he naturally blushed ''No everything's fine'' 'now' ''let's eat before the food gets colder then it already is.''

to be continued ...

I AM BACK!!!! And here is the sixteenth chapter of FirstS!

AS I hope you have noticed, the title above has changed, that will be partly explained in the next extra chapter on Monday...

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

So that's how Fate meet Nanoha for the first time.

Nanoha-sama's picture
Joined: 05/30/2010
Posts: 358

Oh god what a revelation... Nice Sha ! but you have to post more soon for the weeks you weren't here 8D Lol Joke, awesome work as always :P


Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294


The Last Shinigami


Sha Yurigami

She sighed.

''Why so depressed?'' Fate asked her looking away from her notes.

The blond was laying on her futon while holding her notes above her face. Her fiancee was sitting at her desk, resting her forehead on the dictionary that laid on it.

She felt strange.

The auburn haired girl couldn't focus on her homework any longer.

Earlier when Fate took her hand into her own, her heart skipped a beat.

It felt strange.

''Nanoha?'' A gentle pat on her shoulder and her heart speed up, her cheeks reddened and her palms began to sweat. That voice resounding in her ears made her feel uncertain and strong at the same time…

It frightened her.

Ah…I have to answer her.

She turned to the side and looked up to meet concerned burgundy eyes.
Fate wore her usual one piece pj's which hid her whole body from Nanoha's glance, something she was accustomed to by now.

She herself wore a loose T-shirt and sleeping shorts, Nanoha began to care less and less about the fact that Fate came into her life some-what uninvited…and that was shown in her choice of clothing.

''I was just wondering what you're reading.'' she said smiling at the blond sweetly which earned her a kiss on her forehead and a nice blush gracing her face.

''I was just reading some reports.'' she answered, lifting her lips from the flushed skin of her fiancee.

''I saw that, but are they about?'' Nanoha asked curiously, sometime during their time together, Nanoha started to get a little interested about Fate's work or to say it; She became more aware of the blond intruder.

''You wanna know?'' Nanoha nodded. Fate then stood up and took her hand ''Then come an' lay down wit' me?''she asked innocently with a smile that reflected it, then Nanoha stood up and followed the blonds lead.

This was also something she wouldn't have done something like this… they laid down across from each other and simply stared…normally Nanoha wouldn't have done something like this before, trusting someone as suspicious as Fate, she wouldn't have taken her hand or laid down onto the blonds futon without anything to protect herself with…but now she knew that the blond generously tried her all to make her fall for her…

And although she denied it, deep down knowing that made her feel happier then anything else.

The blond held up the report she was reading and handed it over to Nanoha.

The auburn haired girl looked at it with crossed eyes, she couldn't believe what nonsense the vice-pm was reading ''What's that?'' she asked still not understanding what those walls of text on the papers were about.

''Those are reports for the state funds as well as the damage reports for the Fukushima incident and other naturally and recently occurred disasters . My job is to read them, judge them and solve the most urgent problems.'' she explained and laid them aside ''That's my work for the next two months, the reason for why my mother assigned me as her vice…she tends to make me do the jobs she thinks of are unpleasant.''

Nanoha looked at her for a while. ''So…'' she started, the blond smiled at her ''…you not only have to do homework, but you also do your actual job at the same time?''

Fate reached out for Nanoha's cheek and gently caressed it with a thumb ''I did it already so no worry.''


''I always finish my work for the next two months in two days, another reason for why my mother tends to shove off her work on me, but now I do it so that I can spent more time with you!'' the blond said with a very bright smile and began to giggle right after seeing how red Nanoha's face got.

In the days they spent together, this time was the first night where they simply enjoyed the company of the other.

The auburn haired girl reached for the hand that caressed her and gently placed her palm above it. There were times she resented such intimacy but the more time they spent together, touches as pure as this one, speed her heart up.

Yet there were also times she just had to question it:

''On the second day we knew each other…when I asked you about yourself, you avoided my question by suddenly talking about Zanbatou's…why did you do that?''

She asked the blond, who began to get a little uncomfortable, yet neither broke eye-lock.

''And no running away this time.'' Nanoha threatened playfully and Fate sighed in defeat.

''I can use one.'' she admitted.

''Use what?'' Nanoha wasn't sure what exactly she admitted.

''I…wanted to brag…and said that…''

Nanoha scooped closer ''Brag about what?'' she asked mischievous smile already on stand-by.

''I can use a Zanbatou.'' Fate confessed with a blush. Nanoha on the other hand had a flabbergasted expression on her face ''Huh!?'' Fate blushed even harder now ''I'm an martial artist…and before you ask, I learned it when I was younger…''

'Again' Nanoha was silent 'She has that look, the same sad look she had back then' she reached out for to the older blond and snaked her arms around her waist.

Her intent gaze met halo burgundy eyes.

Fate also laid her arms around the girl, her heart beat faster.

So strange.

Whenever this girl was close to her…

Whatever this girl was saying…

It would always reach her heart.

They were gazing at another.

''I-…At least that would explain how you defeated my siblings.'' she said while Fate stroke her back soothingly.

''I learned it from watching my father…not directly of course…but he used to…''

''How was he?''

Fate remembered back, his smile, the way he and her mother laughed ''He was a gently and doting father'' she giggled and Nanoha smiled with her ''a bit overprotective, but I loved him greatly…''

Nanoha watched and listened to Fate, each word and each stroke on her back. Fate talked so intently about her father, how lovey-dovey he was with her real mother and how he always took care of her…and how she always watched him during his daily training…then her shining eyes dulled.

''What happened?'' Nanoha pried gently tightening her grip on the black fabric of Fate's cloak.

Fate's eyes darkened further…

He was laying on her ground.

The glass blades all around him were covered in a dark red liquid.

Drops of red liquid were running down his cheeks.

He smiled.

Why did he smile?

Because he saved her?

And after saving her, he…

Why did he smile?

''I don't want to tal-'' she was kissed.

Before she could finish her sentence, Nanoha kissed her on her forehead.

Her eyes betrayed her once again…

Fate blushed when Nanoha lifted her luscious lips from her face and gazed into her eyes with those beautiful blue-amethyst eyes.

Before either realized it, they leaned their foreheads together.

''You don't have to tell me, just…tell me when you're ready.'' She smiled and held Fate closer.

She wanted to change topics.

''You didn't tell me anything about your mother Lindy.'' she said after a while in their comfortable position.

''I was adopted by her…she took care of me since when I turned eleven…but she was always caring and took care and took her time with me than.''

''And about your real mother?'' Fate smiled sadly and also tightened her grip on Nanoha.

And then she knew.

Something happened.

Words weren't needed.

She knew that Fate didn't want to say it.

But it had to be something that hurt her so deep, that she…

Nanoha hugged Fate as tightly as possible.

She felt responsible for making Fate remember something unpleasing ''Sorry.'' was her meek apology, but Fate returned her embrace and replied ''It's okay…but…can we sleep together like this tonight?''

It was a mere whisper.

A mere plea.

''I would be more than happy to do so.'' Nanoha whispered back.

She smiled.

Fate smiled too.

So close both thought.

But instead of doing something they simply laid there. Fate took initiative and pulled the sheets of her futon above them.

But then she noticed something.

The way how Nanoha's naked shoulder was leaned onto her face, was in a way ero~tic!

But she ignored it for now…The love of her life was laying beside her for the whole night, what else does she need?

''Good Night Nanoha''

''Good Night, Fate-chan''

That night, neither of the two ha a nightmare…

They just dreamed of flying.

to be continued…

Okay sorry for the filler, but I wanted to finish the next few chapters before posting them!

I will constantly update just as I did till now!

And to make up for my long time of absence I will update two chapters at once!

This is for you Nanoha-sama!

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294


The Last Shinigami


Sha Yurigami

She was sleepy.

So~~~~ sleepy.

Even though the food looked especially delicious today and even though her mouth began to water when she saw the cake on the middle of the table, she didn't feel hungry *Grumble*…

She really didn't feel hungry *Grumble* *Grumble*…

''Nanoha, if your stomach is growling like that then you should already start eating.'' her mother said leaning onto her left hand.

Fate idly ate trying to take a taste of everything Momoko prepared for their breakfast, the cakes, pancakes, bread, meatballs, swiz cheese…some of it couldn't be called breakfast any longer, but it was really good!

After seeing Nanoha's half-closed eyes and her dropped gaze, she shifted in her seat took a spoonful of the cereals before Nanoha and held it right before Nanoha's mouth.

The shorter girl blinked and took a bored glance at the smiling blond.

She opened her mouth and accepted the treat, munching on it.

''Ahm…Fate-san'' Shiro called out to the feeding blond, who also began to much again ''You shouldn't spoil her so much.'' he said slowly while she only hummed as a reply.

Then she felt someone leaning on her shoulder.

''Sleepy'' Nanoha whispered into Fate's neck. The blond nodded and placed her left arm over her shoulders.

''I think Nanoha didn't get much sleep the last few days'' she excused herself together with Nanoha from the table.

As they made their way upstairs Fate noticed just how tired the girl was ''Do you want me to carry you, princess?'' she asked softly into the auburn hair.

''Carry'' and she obliged.

Holding Nanoha's back with her right arm and pulling her legs upwards with the left 'To think I'd get to carry ya like a princess again.' she thought happily.

Fate wasn't stupid.

She knew that the auburn haired girl wasn't feeling well the past few days and that she didn't sleep much either.

'Something must have happened from the time she practically skipped out of Quattro's apartment and our way back…But that can't be…All they seemed to do was raking pictures and Nanoha couldn't have noticed them…or…?' she thought so thoroughly about the wannabe stalkers but decided that she can think about it later, she didn't notice that they already reached Nanoha's room.

She stepped towards the bed, pushed the covers aside with her foot and laid her soon-to-be-wife onto the soft mattress. Pulling the comforter up to the smaller girls neckline, she proceeded to walk back to the breakfast.

Whilst arriving she questioned ''You probably know what I am going to ask, although I should ask Nanoha herself. But I'm afraid I have to know what's going on!?''

The Takamachi's laid their breakfast aside and Momoko began to speak ''Well, we have feared that you're going to ask about it…''

She was small.

At the very least nine years old.

When she was little, she wore her hair in pig tails and used white ribbons to tie them. She also used to follow her father sometimes.

His work was always interesting, as he always carried a blade with him and would never endanger her safety.

But one day, on a day her father Shiro would come back home after a rather long week of absence, an event took place that frightened her till today.

She was eagerly walking back home after school. She whistled a melody her mother Momoko would always whistle while backing.

She loved her mother's baking!

On her way home, she saw a group of on black clothed man approaching her.

She walked faster away from the men, but they followed after her.

Her tiny legs tried to get away from the path she walked through…but it was no use…

The men in black caught her, ripped her bag from her shoulders and threw her into a dark van.

She was afraid.

Her blood was bumping through her veins so much it hurt.

Her eyes watered and she screamed and cried…she begged and resisted…but they only punched her, told her to be silent or she would regret it.

She felt sick and cried for the whole time.

Then her little frame was thrown into a suite.

Sunlight broke through the large windows…but it didn't reach her.

A large shadow, fat, stinky and hairy stood before her, a bear like man but with an uglier face towered right before her.

Her heart beat so fast.

She was frightened beyond her worst nightmares.

His large hand came closer to her face…

''So you're basically telling me that someone had kidnapped Nanoha before me? And she got no other injuries than bruises on her face?''

'Is that your only concern?!'
Kyouya thought wishing he could punch the blond.

''Yes, but it get's worse-…'' Momoko continued but her husband took over ''When I received word that Nanoha was missing, I knew it had something to do with my old job.''

Fate eyed him unsure what he meant by that.

''You know that I used to work as a bodyguard?'' she nodded ''Well I made some fearful enemies, ex-clients and a certain politician whom I have never seen before…'' he continued to explain that someone he had pissed of in the past might have been responsible for Nanoha's kidnapping…but the worst thing he described was how he was specifically contacted. They would let Nanoha go in exchange for him to endure the pain he inflicted on the kidnapper…

He would never be able to beget his wife again…

''And the worst and most terrifying thing was that Nanoha had to watch everything…she-''

Fate immediately jumped up and spurted towards the staircase.

Quickly slamming Nanoha's bedroom door open…her heart stopped.

On the bed squirming and crying for dear life, was the girl she had come to care for. She got to Nanoha's side, rattled he shoulders, but the girl wouldn't stop screaming.

''Nanoha! Nanoha! Wake up!'' she rattled the poor girl who wouldn't stop screaming…but she got silent all of a sudden.

Her breathing shivered, ragged, sobs escaped her throat and through a clenched jaw, Fate could hear her say:

''D-Do…Don…Do-…n't hurt…t-…P-P…apa…''

Fate's eyes turned sharp, her muscles tensed up, but she still held Nanoha softly on her shoulders ''Na-noha'' tears fell from the dreaming girl


A mere whisper as this was more than enough for Fate to immediately engulf Nanoha in her arms, holding her as close as humanly possible, kissing away tears that dared to spill. And when noticed that Nanoha still wouldn't relax…she gently brushed her lips with her own.

In that brief moment when her lips were touched…

A mysterious blond woman emerged out of nowhere. She was clothed completely in black and carried a massive and large blade around.

She smashed all the boogie-men with her giant blade.

After finishing the fiends off, she walked over to her with her blade resting on her shoulders.

She swung the blade once and embed it into the ground before the little girl…but the little girl slowly grew into an adult…a beautiful princess, as her savior extended her right gloved hand towards her.

Her face was lite from behind and she couldn't make out the face of her dark knight…

to be continued…

And here is the actual chapter 17! I know it got a little dark but I was in a bad mood and found once again a very bad doujin…I have no other words to say but:

Please enjoy this story and await the next special chapter with much vigor!

Oh and please leave me a review so that I ca get better (writing and mood)!

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

Nanoha really soften up to Fate, and it seems a (not so) mysterious blonde already saved her a few years ago.

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294

Nope just a dream she had after the kiss XD

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

Baking, not backing.

''So you're basically telling me that Nanoha was kidnapped before I did?"
I'd change how you worded this one, maybe it's just me but it almost seems like Fate is saying she herself was kidnapped too. Try:
''So you're basically telling me that someone had kidnapped Nanoha before me?"

someone whom he has pissed of in the past might have been responsible for Nanoha's =>
someone he had pissed of in the past might have been responsible for Nanoha's

And now that that's done... It was a nice chapter, sleepy Nanoha is really cute <3 And she seems to have pretty much accepted Fate and her fiancée, at least in the privacy of her own home, we'll see if that carriess on in front of everyone else.^^

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294

Thanks I corrected it already and I'm going to keep up getting better with my grammmar, too!

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

No problem. On the contrary, since for once I found someone who goes to correct what they've written, here are some other little things:

Even thought => Even though happens two times; 3rd line.
if you stomach => if your stomach 6th line
Deciding that she can think about it later => she could think it's after the first paragraph in italics.
'You probably know what I am going to ask, thought I should probably ask Nanoha herself. => although I should...

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 294

Thanks for the correction! I appreciate it! I would love to have you as my beta reader on but if that doesn't work maybe you can correct me here on this site!

I had it if I make mistakes and only few give me useful tips or corrections which would help me getting better in writing so I'm really happy you did!