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Off-White Devil's picture
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Joined: 12/13/2011
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--

Hearts Cross's picture
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Joined: 11/11/2011
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Truth be told, it is short yet adequate for me. Honestly, it's always the quality of the story, not the quantity. But yes, to me, it's impeccable, I love it! <33 And seriously? Where's Nanoha? What hapened to Fate before all this? You can't make us wait, you know. =P

langrisser's picture
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Joined: 08/22/2009
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Nice work, I'm curious to see what happens next.

LOLIKNOW's picture
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Joined: 12/26/2011
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This was a good read. Thank you!

I thought the length was certainly good enough. It was concise and powerful. (poor Fate D:)

I'm looking forward to the next chapter! NO PRESSURE

Philosophical juggernaut, disabled Bruce Lee

Nyamo's picture
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Joined: 07/10/2011
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For a short chapter it was certainly very interesting, how you described the scene was really great, drama and everything !
How will Nanoha react !?
How will Fate get through this !?
Looking forward to next part !

Nanoha-sama's picture
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Joined: 05/30/2010
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Auuuuuh T_T Fate ... T_T uuuuuh T_T don't dieee T___________T what is going to happend T_T Tell us with next chapter pleaaase T__T.


Spoiler:

Nyamo's picture
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Aaaargh the more I read the more I love this fanfic ! And it's only 2 chapters long !
The situation is so dramatic and no one is spared, the tension is palpable *__*
Very well written, the characters are reacting...accordingly to their personalities ? IMHO.
I can't help but beg for more, mooorrrreee !
*casts a spell to increase your typing* :3

NFate's picture
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Joined: 08/07/2011
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I wanna see moar!!

langrisser's picture
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Joined: 08/22/2009
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With this chapter I feel very sad for Vivio and Nanoha. ;_;

Nanoha-sama's picture
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Joined: 05/30/2010
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This chapter is exellent, this make me want more.
As said Nyamo all character react according to their personality.
This is much more longer then the first chapter and I think this is well done to develop situations like you do.
Last Thing is I think you got a beautiful way of writing, but I beg you "second time" don't let Fate die >w<.


Spoiler:

Off-White Devil's picture
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Nanoha-sama's picture
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LOL you just can't kill her you promised it to me on the Caht (Do you ? XD)


Spoiler:

LOLIKNOW's picture
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Joined: 12/26/2011
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This chapter was definitely a lot longer than the Prologue. I also enjoyed both of them immensely. I'll definitely be looking forward to Chapter 2 (if you decide to continue it, which you should since it's quite good).

The cliffhanger, the drama, and the emotion! Keep it up!

Philosophical juggernaut, disabled Bruce Lee

Sansker's picture
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Joined: 10/01/2011
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I finally get to read the first chapter. Well I said nothing here because I already tell you, Off-White Devil, what I think of this fic and the first chapter is not disappointing. The prologue is short and intense, the first chapter on the other hand is longer but we get also the emotions of all the people we see here. I always love the fact that Vita looks like a little girl despite she being older than almost everyone, is just that she talks like an adult but deep inside she is just a little girl. Aside that love the chapter, is a very good fic and I hope you will write more of this.

Off-White Devil's picture
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LOLIKNOW's picture
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I actually liked reading it on Fanfiction more. It was easier on the eyes somehow.

Masterful. I'm really enjoying this fanfic (I'm a hard person to please when it comes to storylines and character continuity too); please, keep it up :]

I'm intrigued to see how this plays out; a dark, corrupt conspiracy, maybe? =o

Philosophical juggernaut, disabled Bruce Lee

langrisser's picture
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Joined: 08/22/2009
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As Nanoha said, she and Fate are surrounded by the affection of many people, I hope those who hurted Fate will pay dearly for their treachery.

langrisser's picture
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Joined: 08/22/2009
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That was an extremely touching chapter, it's been a while since a fic made me shed a few tears.

tsukimori's picture
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Joined: 08/20/2009
Posts: 79

where is part 3 can't find here or fanfic.net

Sansker's picture
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Joined: 10/01/2011
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This is so sweet that is raising my sugar levels far beyond healthy…

Read stuff like this make me feel bad about my own creations. Nice work there. Really cute, sweet, little funny. I wonder what happen back on Fate´s mission and I hope the culprits get a full Blaster 3 SLB on their heads.

A.
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Joined: 08/14/2009
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Are you sure it got successfully posted in the thread? I checked the logs and I only see that you updated a couple of posts, the first post of this thread, and posted this last post. I turned off our old server just in case, I noticed that it was generating a minor conflict with the indexing but probably it has nothing to do with this.

tsukimori's picture
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Joined: 08/20/2009
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checked on fanfiction.net part 4 is not on there yet.

will try again later.

tsukimori's picture
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Joined: 08/20/2009
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what happen, when i went to fanfiction site i got this message:

Story Not Found
Unable to locate story with id of 7705520.

you are continuing this story right?

Crazyla's picture
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Joined: 02/05/2012
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Not just that, the whole profile is empty. What happened?

Nanonymous
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Is this story continuing? It's gone from fanfiction.com Please continue this? I love this story

Off-White Devil's picture
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Nanonymous
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oh good news finally!!! ...I was so freaking worried you´d stop writting your story is amazing please don´t stop, and thank you. Of course I´ll look forward the next chapt see you!

-Karoru-'s picture
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Joined: 11/04/2011
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Thanks for keep writing this, I was a little disappointed when I searched for my favorites and didn´t found it.

Anyway, I will be looking forward to it :)


Zenryoku Zenkai!

Nanonymous
Nanonymous's picture

Honestly i really love your fan fiction
it's really impressive

i don't know how to explain about it but your fan fiction is the best of nanoha's fan fiction ever!!

Ps. I was trying to search your fiction in FF dot net but the result always be like your fiction never exist what was that really mean awww

ditto526's picture
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Joined: 08/17/2010
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I remember reading part 4 on FF.net, but it is not here, are you going to repost it here?

Nanonymous
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Is there any progress to this story? WE miss you and the story.