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[FanFic] True Lies

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Alicia Testarossa's picture
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Here is something I was requested to write. It is not complete yet, as I am writing these in parts, but I also wanted to share it here before I posted it officially on Fanfiction.

Its an AU. You have been warned *bows*

Spoiler:
True Lies

By TsurugiNoMiko

I don't know why...but for as long as I can remember, I was always attracted to my sister Fate. I know its wrong, but somehow I couldn't help it. She was so kind, and gentle, always helping me out when I needed it. She always comforted me after I was corrected by mom when I did something bad. She would even go so far as to say it was her fault when clearly she was lying. I loved her more than anything else in the world...I loved her as a sister...no...as something else.

"Nanoha?" Fate called over to me, breaking me out of my thoughts

"Ah, what is it Fate-chan?" I looked over at her.

"Are you ok?" she leaned in closer to me "You have just been staring blankly at your homework for the past 10 minutes. What is wrong?"

"I-its nothing!" I turned my head as rapidly as if I were smacked in the face. "Her face was so close to mine" I gasped to myself as I tried to bring my heart-rate down.

"Ok, if you say so" she sat back down on her chair "So do you understand number 7?"

We continued to work on our homework together, which always took longer than it should normally have. I mean what would YOU do if the person you loved so much was less than 12 inches from your face, but there was just absolutely no way for you to have them? Would you really be able to keep your heart in check? Would you really be able to listen to what they were saying? I for one was not able to. Sure I could hear her voice, but that's practically all I hear. That sweet incredible voice, never mind the words that were being said...all I wanted was to listen to that singing melody forever.

"...and I'm a Vampire from ancient times that like to suck on the blood of weak defenseless girls like you." Fate looked at me sternly

"Hai." I nodded, obviously not listening to what she was saying

"NANOHA!"

"Eeek!" I jumped back in my seat and almost fell over.

"Mou. I cant help you with your homework if you don't listen to me!" she leaned in and put her face incredibly close to mine

"A....I...uh..." I wanted to say "I cant breathe!" but my words died in my throat and my lungs wouldn't obey my commands to inhale. The way she positioned herself over me made it so that i couldn't escape. If I even so much as turned my head I'd end up probably kissing her...as much as I would love to do that. I told my heart to calm down, my body to endure...well more like I begged them to endure.

"Listen, you have to pay attention ok?" she leaned in even closer, if that was even possible

I couldn't do anything but nod slightly. My breathing stopped, my body started to sweat from the battle between my mental commands and my body's reactions, and my eyes couldn't leave the hold those beautiful ruby orbs had on them "*gasp*" I inhaled deeply the moment she leaned back away from me. "Ok, I'll listen" I said almost desperately "I promise."

"Good" she smiled "we can continue this after dinner." she got up and started to head to the kitchen "Mom, do you need any help?"

A woman came into the living room wearing an apron and holding a spatula in her hands "Are you two done doing your homework?" she asked in response

"Well, we need a break." Fate looked over at me "Nanoha seems to be too distracted with her day dreams again."

"I am not!" I called back blushing lightly

"Play nice you two" Precia said in a way that defined her very essence as a mother.

"Hai~" we responded in unison.

"Good, now help me carry the dishes out to the table please, Fate" mom requested as a knock on the door came

"One moment please!" I called out as I went to the door and opened it. A woman with long brown hair greeted me, she looked rather pretty and very mature, I almost forgot what I was going to say next "May I help you?"

"Nanoha" she called my name as it seemed like tears were forming in her eyes

"Ex...cuse me?" I asked taken aback by having this total stranger know my name

"It's me, Nanoha..." she smiled sadly "your mother."

Nura's picture
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Wow, interesting ^^, I mean, it´s a good start with that end, so I want to read more
^^.
And sorry for not making a much longer coment, but my written English is not very good ^^U.

Alicia Testarossa's picture
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Sorry I didnt reply earlier but dont worry about it ^.^ I understood what you wanted to say and thanks!

Nanonymous
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Whoa! Is that woman who came to the door Momoko? Is she Nanoha Testarossa right now? Why does she belong in that family? Gaah too many questions! ><

langrisser's picture
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Can't say much since it's the beginning, but the debut is interesting, I'm waiting for the follow-up. ;3

Vivio's picture
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Wow! :O I SO Wanna read the rest of this! :D This is amazing! I'm guessing the woman at the door was Momoko right? I wonder what caused Nanoha to be part of Fate's family? Was she switched at birth with Alicia? was she put up for adoption? :O

Sacred Heart set up~! ^^

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That's quite a Thanksgiving treat, Alicia-chan! arigato :)

Very intriguing opening, by the way. I'm instantly hooked. MOAR!

You know when I read the first sentence "...for as long as I can remember, I was always attracted to my sister Fate", for a minute there I thought it's Alicia lusting after her sister and my heart was pounding in my chest *quickly hides my SISCON doujin stash* Then I realized it's Nanoha who's probably an adopted sister. I returned to normal. XD

NanoFate fans please don't send me hate mail... I promise to turn back into a ferret and leave Nanoha (and her waifu) alone XD

Alicia Testarossa's picture
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LOL you know something....when I am done with this request...I might make a special one just for you SISCON people :p

A.
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Nice start, this fic is looking very promising!
The more taboos in the story, the more fun the romance is! Or at least in my opinion. I would have preferred them to be real sisters I think, I don't remember seeing a fic like that before, but now at least we'll probably see a very happy Nanoha going all "Fate-chan! I really love you and I want to go out with you! It's all right because I just discovered that we're not really sisters! ^_^"

Update soon please~

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yay, forbidden love FTW! XD

NanoFate fans please don't send me hate mail... I promise to turn back into a ferret and leave Nanoha (and her waifu) alone XD

Alicia Testarossa's picture
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Here is part 2 of this one-shot I was challenged to make. Oh right, the final chapter of Thunderbird will be released shortly as well on fanfiction. I just need to edit it one last time

Spoiler:
"W...wh..." "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" my mind wanted to scream but my voice died and only air left my lips. Before I could make any other action another voice came to the door.

"Nanoha? What's taking so long? Who is at the door?" Fate called as she came up to me "Hello, can we help you?" she said looking over to the woman at the door.

"I'm sorry" she bowed slightly "its just that I haven't seen my daughter in ages and I just lost myself."

"What are you talking about?" Fate stepped between us and glared at the woman "What do you mean 'haven't seen your daughter'? Just who are--"

"Momoko..." a soft yet perfectly audible voice interrupted us and cast a strong wave of silence into the room. "Let her in" mom commanded more than requested.

I was softly pushed backwards as Momoko walked into the house, Fate never leaving her position as "barrier" between the two of us. "Fate-chan..." I whispered into the blond's ear

"Dont worry, Nanoha." She reassured me "I'll protect you from anything that happens" she smiled "just like before ne?"

"Thank you, Fate-chan" I leaned against her back a little bit and I felt, rather than saw, her smile as she led me to the living room where all of us sat down in a loose circle.

"I am so sorry to drop by unannounced, Precia" Momoko began

"You know her, Mother?" Fate spoke up, surprise evident in her voice.

"Yes" mom leaned back in her couch "We were best of friends in high school" she smiled as if recalling all the fun times "we've helped each other out through thick and thin back then. There isn't another person I trust more than Takamachi, Momoko."

"So..." I started slowly "why is she claiming..." I gulped bracing myself to finish the question "to be my mother?"

"Because I was the one who gave birth to you, Nanoha" she answered "see that gem around your neck?" she pointed to the round red object that has been mine since as far back as I can remember "That was your father's...he gave it to me as a wedding present when we were married. I gave it to you when you were born."

My eyes opened in shock as this new surge of information came to me...it was too much. There is just no way any of this was true. "I cant believe I am hearing this..." I started

"That amulet is called the Raising Heart." she continued "If you twist it slightly it unlocks and then opens, allowing you to place small pictures in it." she reached out her hand "May I?"

"I'll do it myself" I pulled back reaching for the gem and looking at it as if it were brand new again. I unhooked it from my neck and slowly twisted it...then pulled it open. "Oh my god..." I let go in shock letting it fall to the ground "that's impossible..."

Fate reached down and pulled it up, looking at what possibly could be inside, her eyes widening the longer she stared at it "This-this picture is--!"

"Yes" Momoko answered Fate before turning to me "that's your father and I on our wedding day."

"No. No. That's not true. That's impossible! " I shook my head in utter disbelief.

"Search your feelings, you *know* it to be true!" Momoko imitated Darth Vader.

"I'm sorry Nanoha" mom finally spoke up "but everything Momoko says is true"

"NOOOO!!!!" I screamed out in anguish and held my head as a splitting headache started to form from my sudden outburst

"Nanoha!" Fate jumped to my side and held me gently "its ok...calm down"

"NO! NO! NO!" I continued screaming "I wont believe it! I *REFUSE* to believe it!"

"Nanoha..." Momoko called out with concern

"NO!!!!" I screamed out once more before dashing out of the living room and running upstairs to my room.

"Nanoha, wait!" Fate ran after me. She was always faster than me, but with my mind in turmoil she would have be going supersonic to stop me this time. "Nanoha! Open up!" she pounded on the door as I slammed it in her face. "Please? Nanoha...NANOHA!"

"Please...." I begged softly, the loud knockings stopped "please...just leave me alone" I sobbed and sat down back to the door, hugging my knees.

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Very nice chapter, indeed, Nanoha has to search her feelings and admit she's Momoko's daughter.
Then, they could *Vader's voice mode on* rule the galaxy as mother and daughter, with Darth Fate as Nanoha's right-hand woman, mwahahaha !!! *kof kof !!*

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lol I am sorry...I just couldnt resist that one line. It was just...so fitting I was laughing while typing it XD

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ROTFLOL!

NanoFate fans please don't send me hate mail... I promise to turn back into a ferret and leave Nanoha (and her waifu) alone XD

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Hmm... I have to say 'well done here Sensei'.
I love the imitation of Darth Vader.
Nicely done.

Although I feel sorry for Nanoha.
All of a sudden this stranger comes in and claims to be her mother.
I would freak out like her too and tell Fate-chan to leave me alone.
T^T

"You can close you eyes to reality but not to memories..."

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Poor Nano-Chan :< *pulls out fate plushie and gives to Nanoha* Does this make you feel better?

OMG! I love teh Darth Vader Line xDD

Sacred Heart set up~! ^^

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Here is part 3 (not chapter 3) of the story

Spoiler:
"its not true..." I told myself "She's lying! There's no way that is true!" I continued to deny it fiercely, but the more I denied it...the more her words pierced into me.

That amulet is called the Raising Heart.

that's your father and I on our wedding day.

"Why?" I ask her in my mind "Why are you showing up now?! Why are you suddenly destroying my world?! WHY?!" I continued to sit and sob quietly to myself. I don't know how much time had passed before I finally managed to pick myself up enough and stand. I walked over to my mirror and looked at myself "I look so horrible" I couldn't help but chuckle. "I should at least apologize to Fate-chan" I concluded before fixing myself up a little bit then heading to the door.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!" a voice yelled out as I reached the door handle. I opened my door and went to the source of the sound. The door to mom's room was slightly opened and I could make out her and Fate having a heated argument in the room

"Why didn't you turn her down?!" Fate roared "Do you realize what this is doing to Nanoha?!"

"I know what this is doing to her" mom responded calmly "and I didn't turn her down because Nanoha is rightfully Momoko's daughter"

"She is YOUR daughter!" Fate elevated her voice "Not hers! What kind of mother gives her child away only to come back years later to reclaim it?!"

"She had her reasons"

"What kind of reasoning are there to make you abandon your child?!"

". . . . ." mom remained silent and in control as she always had been. Even under fire from her own blood daughter, she doesn't raise her voice nor lay a hand on Fate.

"What do you owe this woman so much that you would be willing to give up your own daughter to her for?!" Fate screamed even louder after getting no response from mom.

Mom continued to remain silent a few more moments while Fate tried to catch her breath. She walked over to the nightstand next to her bed and picked up a picture frame that was faced down. "When your father died..." she stared. It was all she needed to say the make the blond become deathly silent. "you weren't born yet" she continued "Momoko came to my aid and helped me recover from the loss." she laughed a little bit while looking at the picture "To be honest, the shock was so overbearing for me that I wanted to kill myself since I couldn't take it. Momoko just happened to have stopped by and found me on the floor when I overdosed myself." she sat down on the bed "I was rushed to the hospital and somehow survived. The doctors told me that I was lucky to be alive, heh I told them I didn't care. How unsightly of me, I know. Momoko then told me that I should not wish for death...especially when I was pregnant with you." She walked over to Fate and cradled the blond's face in her hands

"...!" Fate stood shocked at the confession of that magnitude.

"Yes, Fate..." mom continued "She told me to keep living...for you. She made me promise her to raise you as a proper daughter. Do you see now, Fate? My life, as well as your own...we owe it all to her."

"But...but..." was all Fate could come up with

"I knew that this day would come someday. As a mother I don't want Nanoha to go, but as a mother I also know that a child belongs with her parents." she hugged Fate "Nanoha is as much my daughter as you are, nothing will change that."

"Then why?" Fate asked again, defeated

"Because I know the feeling of having lost a loved one. Momoko and I share the same pain...I want to do something for her just as she did for me."

"So you are just going to send Nanoha away..."

"No. Nanoha will always be welcome here and no matter how far away she will be, we will always be connected through the Force--It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together. *draws lightsaber*.
I just want her to take this opportunity to meet her real mother. Don't get me wrong, Fate...there have been many times when I was tempted to take that amulet around her neck and throw it away, that way there would be no proof of Momoko's existence and Nanoha would by my daughter and mine alone." She pulled back and looked Fate in the eyes "That's why...if just for a little while...I want you to help me convince Nanoha to give Momoko a chance. Afterwards, ff she still refuses everything...then Momoko will understand. Can I count on you, Fate?"

Fate buried her face in her mother's chest "Hai...."

A small pain came to my chest as I watched the ongoing conversation. I quietly withdrew to my room and lay on my bed thinking about everything I just heard. A soft knock came to the door followed by Fate entering the room a few moments later.

"Hey..." she called out softly

"Hey..." I responded

"Nanoha...I want to talk to you"

"You want me to go with her don't you..."

Fate remained quiet for a few moments before sitting down next to me on the bed "Yes. I want you to give Momoko-san a chance"

"Is it because mom requested?" I asked giving away my secret

"So you heard huh?"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to overhear anything."

"That is alright...being part of this family you had to know someday anyway."

"I don't want to go Fate-chan..." I buried my face in the pillow "I don't want to leave you."

"Nanoha..." she started gently stroking my hair "please? Just for a few days? For me?"

I gritted my teeth and tried to force myself to saying "no" but for some reason...I could never bring myself to deny her anything...especially when she really asked for it. "Fine..." I sighed defeated

"Thank you, Nanoha" she leaned in and kissed my forehead. "We haven't had dinner yet...would you like something to eat?" she grinned "I'll even bring it up here and feed you like how we used to do it when you were sick?"

I blushed lightly and just nodded into the pillow.

"Good girl" she stroked me one last time "I'll be back in a little bit."

"Hai..."

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Thanks for another wonderful update! I'm constantly amazed at how many different situations Nanoha and Fate can be put in and still result in an interesting story with the NanoFate flavour :)

(I know you already saw this coming but...)
May the Force be with you X3

NanoFate fans please don't send me hate mail... I promise to turn back into a ferret and leave Nanoha (and her waifu) alone XD

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Hmmm.
Wow, Precia.
That was a sad story she told Fate-chan.
Nicely done again.

I wonder what Nanoha will do when she stays with Momoko for a few days?
Nanoha's horrible days with her 'Birth Mother'.
Wow, I would want to read that.

Well, awesome again.
I'll be waiting for the next part. Part 4. XD

"You can close you eyes to reality but not to memories..."

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Horrible days? Wow and I thought people hated Precia more lolz Maybe Nanoha and Momoko can Rule the Galaxy together! do some catching up instead? I dunno I'll think about it later :p

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Thanks for the update, I'm curious to see what Momoko will do to try to make up to Nanoha, and how Nanoha will eventually react to her birth mother.

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Quote:
Horrible days? Wow and I thought people hated Precia more lolz Maybe Nanoha and Momoko can Rule the Galaxy together! do some catching up instead? I dunno I'll think about it later :p

Oh, lol. I just felt like saying horrible days.
Because you know, Nanoha's going to be staying with a total stranger that claims to be her mother. But I guess they can do some catching up.
I don't want Nanoha to hate her 'Birth Mother'.

"You can close you eyes to reality but not to memories..."

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Part 4 of this story

Spoiler:
A few minutes later Fate came back with a small tray of food. I sat up to help he out but she just pushed me down and told me to "be a good girl". I was a little angry and a little embarrassed at the same time as she was treating me like a little kid, but I couldn't really get too mad seeing as how much she cared about me. I only wished shed look at me as something else other than her sister.

"Ahhhn~~" she said as she picked up a piece of food and held it in front of me.

"Fate-chan! That's embarrassing!" I said blushing fiercely and reaching out to grab the chopsticks from her hands.

"Da~~me" she said, swatting my hands away and pulling the food back. "You are not feeling well so I am going to feed you." she stated before putting the food back forward "Ahhhn~~" she repeated.

"A....ahhhn~" I offered as she slowly moved the food to my mouth. I quickly leaned forward and almost snapped the chopsticks when I slammed my teeth on it like a bear trap and pulled away, quickly turning my head and calming myself down from the sudden beating of my heart. I looked around for the unseen eyes inside my empty room before beginning to chew quietly.

"Mou, Nanoha" Fate said looking at me "you need to quit being so savage when you eat." she held up another piece "Ahhn~~" she started again.

I looked at Fate with sad kitty eyes trying to plead with her to allow me to feed myself, but she mercilessly shook her head and continued to feed me until the plate she brought with her was clean. I ate quietly the entire time while blushing to my ears and never making eye contact with her. "Thank you..." I whispered looking down as she prepared to clean up the dish.

"Hold still" she said as she cupped my face and started wiping it with a napkin

"Mou, Fate-chan! I'm not a kid anymore! I can do it myself!" I protested

She stopped for a moment and then just looked at me. I froze, a sudden fear growing in me that I might have done something to offend her. My fears grew even more, but because of a different reason, when she leaned in close and put her forehead with mine to see if I was sick. She might actually think I am sick since my temperature continued to rise through the roof as our proximity to each ever became ever closer. "Are you sure you are ok?" she said concern written all over her eyes

"Y...yes" I managed to squeak out.

"Alright" she smiled as she stood up and started to head to the door. "Rest well tonight, Nanoha." she looked over her shoulder "Momoko-san will come pick you up in the morning. Good night Nanoha."

"So soon?!" I thought to myself "No! I dont want her to leave! Please, Fate-chan...stay with me tonight." I reached my hand out and tried to say it, but the words died before being able to escape my lips. "Fate-chan!" I called out just before she closed the door behind her.

"What is it Nanoha?" she asked tilting her head, a little shocked by my sudden shout of her name.

"I...somehow feel strange lately..." I started, lowering my head and avoiding eye contact. "I could touch your hand or embrace you normally before, but after all these years I cant do it like I used to."

"What do you mean?" She leaned against the door frame

"I...cant keep it a secret anymore." I braced myself "This is it" I told myself "Once I say this...there will be no turning back." I calmed my heart down a little bit before continuing. "I...love you Fate-chan!"

"I know, Nanoha" she smiled "you--"

"No you dont!" I cut her off, half to tears. "I love you...as another girl...not as a sister..."

Fate stood there a few moments as the realization of what I meant finally hit her. Had she been any more shocked at the truth she would have dropped the tray she was holding. "Nanoha..." she finally spoke up after several moments, making me jump a little bit. "for me...you are..."

I braced myself. Part of me didn't want to hear it, part of me was screaming for her to say it. In the end I could never decide which one I wanted.

"...my dear beloved sister."

"...!" Those words pierced into me more mercilessly than if I had been hit by Unlimited Blade Works.

"Now don't concern yourself will such trivial matters ok?" she smiled at me a little bit before turning around again. "I need to take these downstairs to get washed now. Rest well ok Nanoha? Oyasumi." With that...she closed the door and went downstairs.

langrisser's picture
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Ouch, Nanoha take a low-blow by Fate, but it's normal, after all, Nanoha has been her sister for years -even if non blood-related-, it's not easy to have your beloved stepsister saying she love you suddenly, she need a little time alone to reflect on it.
Very good part, I wait to see how Momoko will try to make it up with Nanoha, it should be very interesting. :3

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Hmmm... well, that was interesting.
I can't believe Nanoha had the guts to say she loves Fate-chan.
And Fate-chan only thought of the opposite.
How sad. Fate-chan will love her as another girl later on, right?
Instead of just 'a beloved sister'.

Will Nanoha go with Momoko?! And stay with her as her daughter?
I would if Fate-chan rejected me! Hahaha... ha... nuuu... I lied. I wouldn't.

Well, Part 4 already. I wonder what Part 5 will be like? Going with Momoko for a couple of days right? The next morning?

I will wait. Til then.

"You can close you eyes to reality but not to memories..."

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It's really a great story here *-* !!

Nanoha's confession was cute... And rejected XD!
But I'm sure that Fate feel the same, but don't know yet! ... yeah I'm just a NxF addict I know T_T

I wonder how Nanoha will feel with her "new" mother...? And how Fate will react when Nanoha will be gone? >_< !! Want to see the next!

An update soon...? *-*
*eyes shining with hope*

(sorry for my bad english :p)

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Part 5 of True Lies...brought to you by Sand! Its everywhere! And the number 5.

Spoiler:
I sat there...stunned. Unable to see, feel, or think anything...the only thing that passed through my mind were the words that tore my world apart. "for me...you are...my dear beloved sister." I found myself standing up and slowly walking to my door, my hand reaching out and locking it before my body automatically turned around to walk to the bed before finally collapsing on it. "You stupid *idiot*!!!" I chastised myself. "Why did you have to say that to her?! You *knew* she was going to say that and you still did it!" I buried my face into the pillow and slammed my fist against the bed "Testarossa, Nanoha...you are indeed a total fool."

"...my dear beloved sister."

"Rhaaaaaaaaa~~~!!!!!" I screamed in anguish into the pillow, trying desperately to muffle the sound. The last thing i wanted now was for mom to find out about all this. My tears wouldn't stop flowing no matter how hard I tried to control myself and tell myself that this was bound to happen. My heart felt like it wasn't beating anymore since it was too shattered, but I didn't care. At this point I believed that death was a far better option than continuing to live with the knowledge that something I wanted...I valued more than life itself, was within my grasp...but at the same time I could never attain.

Dawn arrived too soon. I wasn't able to sleep at all, despite crying so much that I swear I should have passed out due to exhaustion. I slowly pushed the sheets of my body and sat up looking at the clock. I sighed deeply and went to my dresser and stared at the mirror. "Maybe it's for the best that I am leaving for a little bit..." I spoke aloud. "I look horrible" I couldn't help but chuckling lightly at myself. After a few moments of straightening myself out I slowly reached for the door and braced myself as I stepped out of the comfort of my room. I went down to the kitchen to have a little bit of breakfast before Momoko arrived.

"Ohayo!" I greeted

"Ohayo Nanoha" Mom greeted me like normal "hurry up and eat. Momoko-san will be here shortly."

I nodded and started eating. There was something missing from this usual morning. "Where is Fate-chan?" I instinctively asked

"Ah, Fate said she was busy with some things so she just had breakfast then went back to her room."

"I see..." I lowered my head. "That's to be expected...you just told her that yesterday. Of course shes going to hate you, fool."

A knock came to the door as I finished my breakfast. "Welcome" mom said as she went to the door and opened it "Nanoha! Momoko is here!"

"Hai!" I called out as I ran towards the door. I stopped momentarily to look up the stairs as if trying to look into Fate's room.

"Nanoha?" mom called again

"Sorry!" I rushed the rest of the way.

"Ohayo, Nanoha" Momoko greeted me

"Ohayo" I greeted in return

"Now you two be nice to each other. We'll see you in a few days ok?" mom stated

"A few days?" I asked

"Yeah didn't they tell you?" Momoko looked at me confused

"Oh!" I recovered after finally understanding that I was purposefully not told about this "sorry I forgot" I lied.

"See you in a few days then" Momoko bowed to mom

"Take care" mom waved us off.

"I am sorry for having you accompany me like this" Momoko smiled sadly at me as we began walking away from the house

"No, its no problem" I responded "I needed to get away from the house anyway."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, its nothing" I perked back up "by the way, where would you like to go?"

"There is one place I feel that I should take you. It would also be the best place for us to talk."

I followed her quietly through the town till we started going to a quiet secluded place just outside of the city. The air was nice due to the lack of the taint of the industrialized world. We continued walking till we finally reached a cemetery. I looked around in wonder as she continued walking and finally stopped in front of a gravestone. I followed behind her and looked at the stone she was in front of.

~~ Takamachi Shiro ~~ it stated ~~ Born XXXX to XXXX ~~

"This...this grave is..."

"Yes, Nanoha..." she answered "this is your father's grave. And soon shall be your own AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *stabs repeatedly*"

langrisser's picture
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Joined: 08/22/2009
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The last sentence crack me up. XD
Nice part, I feel a bit sad for Momoko, though, losing her husband, and then having to took her child from her loving adoptive family should hurt her badly.
I think Nanoha shouldn't worry much about Fate, she needs some time to think about it. :3

Vivio's picture
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Joined: 11/26/2009
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Omg! These parts are hularious! xD Lol. On that last one you almost went without a starwars reference... almost xDDD I Love those references xD but that's besides the point. This story is amazing and I can't wait until the next part xD

Sacred Heart set up~! ^^

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Joined: 09/12/2009
Posts: 187

*bursts out laughing*

Update please! :3

Yuki_Kamishiro's picture
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Joined: 08/15/2009
Posts: 117

Aww, it's to be expected Fate-chan would avoid Nanoha for awhile after that confession. Poor Nanoha.

Hahahaha!!! That very last line cracked me up! *Sigh*, that was a good laugh.
So what happened to Shiro? How did he die? And is that why Momoko gave Nanoha away to Precia because Shiro died? Or is that something else?

Nice job. I don't think you need to improve or change anything though. You never need to do that. (: It's good as it is.

Hope Nanoha and Momoko have a good time with each other and know each other better. XD

"You can close you eyes to reality but not to memories..."