Here is something I was requested to write. It is not complete yet, as I am writing these in parts, but I also wanted to share it here before I posted it officially on Fanfiction.
Its an AU. You have been warned *bows*
I don't know why...but for as long as I can remember, I was always attracted to my sister Fate. I know its wrong, but somehow I couldn't help it. She was so kind, and gentle, always helping me out when I needed it. She always comforted me after I was corrected by mom when I did something bad. She would even go so far as to say it was her fault when clearly she was lying. I loved her more than anything else in the world...I loved her as a sister...no...as something else.
"Nanoha?" Fate called over to me, breaking me out of my thoughts
"Ah, what is it Fate-chan?" I looked over at her.
"Are you ok?" she leaned in closer to me "You have just been staring blankly at your homework for the past 10 minutes. What is wrong?"
"I-its nothing!" I turned my head as rapidly as if I were smacked in the face. "Her face was so close to mine" I gasped to myself as I tried to bring my heart-rate down.
"Ok, if you say so" she sat back down on her chair "So do you understand number 7?"
We continued to work on our homework together, which always took longer than it should normally have. I mean what would YOU do if the person you loved so much was less than 12 inches from your face, but there was just absolutely no way for you to have them? Would you really be able to keep your heart in check? Would you really be able to listen to what they were saying? I for one was not able to. Sure I could hear her voice, but that's practically all I hear. That sweet incredible voice, never mind the words that were being said...all I wanted was to listen to that singing melody forever.
"...and I'm a Vampire from ancient times that like to suck on the blood of weak defenseless girls like you." Fate looked at me sternly
"Hai." I nodded, obviously not listening to what she was saying
"NANOHA!"
"Eeek!" I jumped back in my seat and almost fell over.
"Mou. I cant help you with your homework if you don't listen to me!" she leaned in and put her face incredibly close to mine
"A....I...uh..." I wanted to say "I cant breathe!" but my words died in my throat and my lungs wouldn't obey my commands to inhale. The way she positioned herself over me made it so that i couldn't escape. If I even so much as turned my head I'd end up probably kissing her...as much as I would love to do that. I told my heart to calm down, my body to endure...well more like I begged them to endure.
"Listen, you have to pay attention ok?" she leaned in even closer, if that was even possible
I couldn't do anything but nod slightly. My breathing stopped, my body started to sweat from the battle between my mental commands and my body's reactions, and my eyes couldn't leave the hold those beautiful ruby orbs had on them "*gasp*" I inhaled deeply the moment she leaned back away from me. "Ok, I'll listen" I said almost desperately "I promise."
"Good" she smiled "we can continue this after dinner." she got up and started to head to the kitchen "Mom, do you need any help?"
A woman came into the living room wearing an apron and holding a spatula in her hands "Are you two done doing your homework?" she asked in response
"Well, we need a break." Fate looked over at me "Nanoha seems to be too distracted with her day dreams again."
"I am not!" I called back blushing lightly
"Play nice you two" Precia said in a way that defined her very essence as a mother.
"Hai~" we responded in unison.
"Good, now help me carry the dishes out to the table please, Fate" mom requested as a knock on the door came
"One moment please!" I called out as I went to the door and opened it. A woman with long brown hair greeted me, she looked rather pretty and very mature, I almost forgot what I was going to say next "May I help you?"
"Nanoha" she called my name as it seemed like tears were forming in her eyes
"Ex...cuse me?" I asked taken aback by having this total stranger know my name
"It's me, Nanoha..." she smiled sadly "your mother."
Wow, interesting ^^, I mean, it´s a good start with that end, so I want to read more
^^.
And sorry for not making a much longer coment, but my written English is not very good ^^U.
Whoa! Is that woman who came to the door Momoko? Is she Nanoha Testarossa right now? Why does she belong in that family? Gaah too many questions! ><
Can't say much since it's the beginning, but the debut is interesting, I'm waiting for the follow-up. ;3
Wow! :O I SO Wanna read the rest of this! :D This is amazing! I'm guessing the woman at the door was Momoko right? I wonder what caused Nanoha to be part of Fate's family? Was she switched at birth with Alicia? was she put up for adoption? :O
That's quite a Thanksgiving treat, Alicia-chan! arigato :)
Very intriguing opening, by the way. I'm instantly hooked. MOAR!
You know when I read the first sentence "...for as long as I can remember, I was always attracted to my sister Fate", for a minute there I thought it's Alicia lusting after her sister and my heart was pounding in my chest *quickly hides my SISCON doujin stash* Then I realized it's Nanoha who's probably an adopted sister. I returned to normal. XD
Nice start, this fic is looking very promising!
The more taboos in the story, the more fun the romance is! Or at least in my opinion. I would have preferred them to be real sisters I think, I don't remember seeing a fic like that before, but now at least we'll probably see a very happy Nanoha going all "Fate-chan! I really love you and I want to go out with you! It's all right because I just discovered that we're not really sisters! ^_^"
Update soon please~
yay, forbidden love FTW! XD
Very nice chapter, indeed, Nanoha has to search her feelings and admit she's Momoko's daughter.
Then, they could *Vader's voice mode on* rule the galaxy as mother and daughter, with Darth Fate as Nanoha's right-hand woman, mwahahaha !!! *kof kof !!*
Hmm... I have to say 'well done here Sensei'.
I love the imitation of Darth Vader.
Nicely done.
Although I feel sorry for Nanoha.
All of a sudden this stranger comes in and claims to be her mother.
I would freak out like her too and tell Fate-chan to leave me alone.
T^T
Poor Nano-Chan :< *pulls out fate plushie and gives to Nanoha* Does this make you feel better?
OMG! I love teh Darth Vader Line xDD
Thanks for another wonderful update! I'm constantly amazed at how many different situations Nanoha and Fate can be put in and still result in an interesting story with the NanoFate flavour :)
(I know you already saw this coming but...)
May the Force be with you X3
Hmmm.
Wow, Precia.
That was a sad story she told Fate-chan.
Nicely done again.
I wonder what Nanoha will do when she stays with Momoko for a few days?
Nanoha's horrible days with her 'Birth Mother'.
Wow, I would want to read that.
Well, awesome again.
I'll be waiting for the next part. Part 4. XD
Thanks for the update, I'm curious to see what Momoko will do to try to make up to Nanoha, and how Nanoha will eventually react to her birth mother.
Horrible days? Wow and I thought people hated Precia more lolz Maybe Nanoha and Momoko can Rule the Galaxy together! do some catching up instead? I dunno I'll think about it later :p
Oh, lol. I just felt like saying horrible days.
Because you know, Nanoha's going to be staying with a total stranger that claims to be her mother. But I guess they can do some catching up.
I don't want Nanoha to hate her 'Birth Mother'.
Ouch, Nanoha take a low-blow by Fate, but it's normal, after all, Nanoha has been her sister for years -even if non blood-related-, it's not easy to have your beloved stepsister saying she love you suddenly, she need a little time alone to reflect on it.
Very good part, I wait to see how Momoko will try to make it up with Nanoha, it should be very interesting. :3
Hmmm... well, that was interesting.
I can't believe Nanoha had the guts to say she loves Fate-chan.
And Fate-chan only thought of the opposite.
How sad. Fate-chan will love her as another girl later on, right?
Instead of just 'a beloved sister'.
Will Nanoha go with Momoko?! And stay with her as her daughter?
I would if Fate-chan rejected me! Hahaha... ha... nuuu... I lied. I wouldn't.
Well, Part 4 already. I wonder what Part 5 will be like? Going with Momoko for a couple of days right? The next morning?
I will wait. Til then.
It's really a great story here *-* !!
Nanoha's confession was cute... And rejected XD!
But I'm sure that Fate feel the same, but don't know yet! ... yeah I'm just a NxF addict I know T_T
I wonder how Nanoha will feel with her "new" mother...? And how Fate will react when Nanoha will be gone? >_< !! Want to see the next!
An update soon...? *-*
*eyes shining with hope*
(sorry for my bad english :p)
The last sentence crack me up. XD
Nice part, I feel a bit sad for Momoko, though, losing her husband, and then having to took her child from her loving adoptive family should hurt her badly.
I think Nanoha shouldn't worry much about Fate, she needs some time to think about it. :3
Omg! These parts are hularious! xD Lol. On that last one you almost went without a starwars reference... almost xDDD I Love those references xD but that's besides the point. This story is amazing and I can't wait until the next part xD
*bursts out laughing*
Update please! :3
Aww, it's to be expected Fate-chan would avoid Nanoha for awhile after that confession. Poor Nanoha.
Hahahaha!!! That very last line cracked me up! *Sigh*, that was a good laugh.
So what happened to Shiro? How did he die? And is that why Momoko gave Nanoha away to Precia because Shiro died? Or is that something else?
Nice job. I don't think you need to improve or change anything though. You never need to do that. (: It's good as it is.
Hope Nanoha and Momoko have a good time with each other and know each other better. XD
Sorry I didnt reply earlier but dont worry about it ^.^ I understood what you wanted to say and thanks!