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[FanFic]Untied Strings

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Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

My first Fan fiction which I have planned for time but always having trouble in writing it,please enjoy it. >__<

The Untied Strings

I am sitting in my office with so much paper work still loaded there in my desk; I closed my eyes trying to let them rest for a while. I have stayed there to finish my work for about ten hours without taking any break wishing to finish it as soon as possible, but they just keep coming making it endless. I look at the window to find the sun had started to sink; making the sky’s color became darker. After stretching out my body I decided to go home and finish the remaining work there because I know that little girl is waiting for me.

I got out from the elevator and walked to the parking lot to find my car and as soon I find it I get in car to drive me home.

“I am home. ”I changed my high heels into house slipper before walking to the living room to find no one there so I went to the kitchen and finally find her.

”I am home Vivio.” The little girl with Christmas color eyes is standing besides the dining table placing the food that she has just cooked.

”Ah, welcome home Fate-san, I have just finished the last dish, lets start dinner.” I smiled at her and nodded.

As we sit down and start to eat I hear my phone ringing. I take a look at the caller name before picking it up. ”Fate, it is me Lindy, it’s been a month since you and Vivio leave America and moved to Japan, how is it? Has my cute granddaughter doing fine?” I can hear the kind and caring voice talking from my phone, I looked at Vivio staring at me curiously.
” She is fine Lindy-san, Vivio has been a good girl, and she has found many wonderful friends to sharing her worlds now. So you don’t need to worry too much about her.” I hear a relief sound coming out from her and then I offered the phone to Vivio
“Its grandma.” Vivio take the phone and begin the conversation happily.

Watching Vivio talking with varies cheerful expression dazzled me when Vivio called.

” Fate-san, grandma wants to talk to you.”

I picked up the phone from Vivio and knowing the direction of the coming up conversation I told Vivio to eat first and walked away from the dining room and arrived at living room, standing beside the window before putting the phone to my ear.
“Yes Lindy-san, what is it?

“So Vivio still hasn’t called you “Mom” yet has she?” Lindy-san voice showed up her sad voice.

“… She needs time. It’s going to take more time for her to be able to recover. It’s still hasn’t so long since they leave her in that accident.” I tried to be strong enough to not let this conversation reminding me of that time, the time they leave us.

“Fate…” Lindy-san sighed before continued her words.

“I wished you and Vivio’s here with me, but with your current condition its looks impossible to happen. You are a kind woman; you choose to help your mother with her company over your love to music. And it worsens when they leave us. I know it’s hard for you, but you have to remember you are not alone, Vivio’s not alone, be strong Fate…”

Lindy-san is suffering to, she lost her son and daughter-in-law at the same time leaving her granddaughter with me in a far away place, its must be harder for her.
“Thanks Lindy-san, I will be strong enough for Vivio, for you to depend on.” I made up my mind to become stronger; I looked up at the night sky with my palm placed at my chest “I won’t lose to anything.”

“You know Fate? Hearing this from you have given me strength too and I always thinking of you as my own daughter since long time ago, If you ever need anything just call me, You understand dear? And now would you grant me a little wish? Would you please call me mother?”

Lindy-san said something that make me blushed, yes I have always think her as my own mother too, but to call her mother now, i-its just…

“What’s wrong Fate? Don’t you think me as your mother too?” Lindy-san sound disappointed.

“No… no it’s not like that! It-its just…I-I am…” I can’t say it out, It really embarrassing..

“Hem?…come on Fate, just called me Mom and I will be enough for me.” Lindy-san’s sad voices leaving me no other choice.I take a deep breath before say it.

“M-Mom...” I said it and blushed but feel happy too.

“Now, good girl. Thank you Fate. Its makes mo so happy and I think I can have a nice dream no, I love you and tell Vivio I love her too, Good night.”

“Good night Lin-…M-mom.” Lindy-san sounds happy when she hung up the phone and so does me.

When I am leaving the window, I noticed the light come from the house next door, Its strange since when we move here they house has been empty. I walk to the kitchen finding Vivio has finished her dinner and she is washing the dishes now.

“Vivio, I saw light from the house next door, do you know anything?” I asked Vivio while sitting and continue to eat the dinner.

“Ah! Yes, they are going to be our new neighbors, I met them when coming home from school.” Vivio tell me while finished clean up the kitchen.

I can tell she that she is tired and called her over, I hugged her and kiss her forehead before escorting her to her bed.

“Fate-san.” Vivio called me as I sitting besides her bed.

“What it’s Vivio?” I asked her smiled at her.

“I want to hear you to play the flute for me, will you?” with that puppy eyes she look at me.
“Of course, just wait a minute.” I walked to my room to take my flute and returning to Vivio’s room and started to play a song for her. Sometimes before go to sleep Vivio asked me to play something for her and I always did it for her with gladly.

Not long after that, Vivio fall a sleep and before leaving her room I stroke her hair lightly and whispered good night to her.

I can;t believe it! I have failed to write NanoFate fanfic many time. I have many ideas in my mind but always stuck in the progress. And I hope I wont screwed up this time XD...

A.'s picture
Joined: 08/14/2009
Posts: 4272

Thanks for the fic Netsu! This story is looking promising, I like the family setting that you have going in this first chapter, and I'll be looking forward to see Nanoha's role in all this.

If I can give you some advice, I think you will need a proofreader for this fic. I'm not very good with English, but noticed some grammar mistakes in this first chapter that probably someone with better understanding of the language can fix pretty quickly.

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

Looks like it'll be a nice story, I'll look forward to it. :3

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

Thanks for the comments, it gives me inspiration to continue the story. And yeah I know I messed the grammar, And currently having problem in finding someone to help me with the grammar and some vocabulary (I have tried to find some vocabulary at the google translate but still can't find out better translation)
I will try to write the story with a better grammar, so please be patient XD..

Fate-chan's picture
Joined: 02/01/2010
Posts: 289

Netsu-san... your first language is English or Spanish?

Maybe I can help you with some words.

By the way I like the story.

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

My first language isn't neither English or Spanish, it's Indonesian ^-^.

I have getting a help from Honulicious to edited the story for the words and grammar so you don't need to worry about it, but thanks for the concern I really appreciate it.

If you like the story it's my pleasure, thank you ^o^v.

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

Here chapter two please enjoy it

I walk to my room and continuing the work that I bring from my office. It have been a month since I started to work in my mother’s company, I didn’t find problem handling the work they submitted to me cause I studied economics for 3 years in America and have some experiences there, but the most surprised is that I found out this work isn’t that bad and I am quite enjoying my self in the progress

Its 4.15 AM now and I still haven’t finished my work when I hear the sound of dropping water from the sky, yeah Its raining now and looks like the storm is coming with the driving harder rain and wind.

I go out to the balcony and see someone running from inside the house next door holding sheeting. She is running toward a group of flowers placed at the corner of the courtyard, trying to cover the flower with the sheet.

I decided to help her and after I grasped a coat, I run to the girl location. When I arrived, I can see that she is having trouble to cover all of the flowers because the spacious of the placed flowers isn’t something can be handled by one person.

I grabbed the others side of the sheet where the girl can’t reach,” Let me help you!” I shouted to tell the girl and she nodded approving the offered help. I try to find something strong enough to held the sheet in the ground, the rain is still pouring hard and I don’t think It’s a nice idea to stand here holding the sheet until the storm passed.

I am looking at the surrounding and find a big rock under the tree. Just when I release the sheet to take the rock, I hear a “smack” sound with a scream. I surprised realizing what has happened before slowly turned my head to the source of the sound.

There I see the girl struggling at how the sheet squeezing her and I help her to remove the sheets from her by taking the released side of the sheets and standing in the location I stand before to shielding the rain from the flower.

The girl is trying to say something to me but I just can hear her because of the rain’s sound, “What are you saying? I can’t hear you?!” I shouting to find out the girl’s word but I still can’t hear her when suddenly I feel the cold sheet hit my face.

The “smack” sound repeat again, “ Ouww…What are you doing?!” I struggling with the sheet all over me closing my vision.

As I struggled, I can feel the sheet starting to leave my head and I see the girl holding the sheets and “smiled” before retreated to her position, leaving a stunned expression over my face. Well, at least now I understand what she had tried to tell me.

We have stood there for almost an hour now. When the storm begins to settle down as the light of the sun starting to brighten the sky, I can see the face of the girl standing in front of me.

She has a sky colored eyes with brown hair fluttering all over her head because of the storm and I think its the same way happening to my hair. She is wearing a short blue pant with orange shirt.

We fold the sheet when the rain stopped and I find the girl staring at me now.
“Now I know that actions are easier to tell what you want others to understand, seriously...” She sighed and staring at me,” Well…Yeah, I agree.” Both of us started to laugh at what happened before.

“Thanks for helping me before, my name is Takamachi Nanoha. Just call me Nanoha okay? And as you know I moved to this house yesterday with my sister Takamachi Einheart. It’s nice to meet you.” She offered her hand and smiled at me as she introduced herself.

“Ah…okay. I am Fate Testarossa. It’s nice to meet you too Nanoha.” I smiled back at her and shake her hand.

The rain pouring hard at the cemetery where we gathered to having the funeral ceremony as The Pastor begins the ceremony and we started to pray. I looked at Lindy-san leaning herself in my shoulder crying as she watched the coffins laying there in the ground. Vivio wasn’t here; she stayed in the hospital because of the wounds she had suffered didn’t allowed here to leave the hospital bed yet.

When they began to bury the coffins, Lindy-san started to scream and I hold her in my arms to calm her and we both cried as the coffins disappeared into darkness.
“Good bye Alicia…Good bye Chrono…”

“Uhm…” I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling, I am laying in my bed wearing my black sleeping dress. I try to get up but my head started to spin and find head staying back in the pillow.

I try to remember what had happened before, I was working in my room when the storm coming I help my new neighbor keeping her flowers from the storm and I laughed for the first time since that day. We introduced our self when after that and everything becomes blurred after that…

I remember it now, and it sucks since I am here now laying with fever.
“How am I ended here wearing my dry sleeping dress?” I talked to myself when
I hear someone entering my room.

“I am the one who carried you to your room and changed your wet clothes.” Nanoha is here entering my room holding a bowl of porridge in her hands and then placed them in the small table beside my bed.

She placed her forehead into mine to check my temperature.” Hem…looks like the fever has dropped now. Here eat it and drink the medicine after that, and don’t worry about Vivio, I told her to go to school and not to worry about you since I will take good care after you.”

I looked at Nanoha and relieved.” Thank you Nanoha for your help and you even help me cha-chang…gin m-my clot-hes.” I blushed, It’s the first time someone have to help me changed my clothed since I always keeping distance to other people so they don’t even have a chance to touch me, and now she’is here changed my clothes.

“Nah…don’t worry to much about it, you collapsed after helping me shielding the flower from the storm so I just did what I should do, but when I tried to find your pajamas I can’t find them, instead I find many of the sleeping dress there.” She grinned and approaching my ear.” They turned me on you know, I have a hard time when I have to changed your wet clothed to these sexy dress.”

My face turned as red as the boiled crap now and I covered my head into the blanked and try to hide myself from Nanoha’s gaze.

“Whow! You are so cute you know?! It makes me want to eat you right now. Ahahaha…But since you have fever right now I will have to wait until you have recovered. Well since you have awake, I will excuse myself for now, I will came again later in the afternoon, remember to eat the food and medicine…See ya.”

I hear the sound of her foot leaving my room and I get up still blushed because of Nanoha’s words. I looked at the porridge and tasted it.
“Its delicious.” After finished the porridge I take the medicine and resting my self into a sleep.

Continued to chapter 3

I added some paragraphs in this story and since I can't accessed to FF.Net at the moment the updated chapter can only be read here until I can edit the story in the FF.Net. Please enjoy it >__<!thank you...

A.'s picture
Joined: 08/14/2009
Posts: 4272

Netsu wrote:
(I have tried to find some vocabulary at the google translate but still can't find out better translation)

I don't recommend using google to translate, at least in spanish it's very imprecise. I would suggest you to look for the words in Their forum is pretty good too.

About your fic:

Fate was still awake at 4:15 due to work, and she decided to go out in a torment to help a stranger protect her flowers? She sure has her priorities in the right order xD But maybe she had everything planned and she pretended to be sick so she could get Nanoha to nurse her... that would make sense xD And Nanoha is bold, which is great too ^^

Thanks for the chapter, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter. By the way, I think it would be good if when you update the chapter that you uploaded to, set the align to the left, and try your luck posting a proofreader request.

Take care.

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

I see the White Devil is ready to jump on her "unlucky" victim. :3

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

Thanks for the advise and reviews. I will try to write a better chapter with a better grammar and words while enjoying it XD..

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

Untied strings chapter three, please enjoy it ^__^ :

I toke a bath after got up from my bed and after that I changed into a long sleeve white shirt, put on my stocking before wearing my black skirt. I sat in front of my drawer and took a look at the mirror and I saw my face reflected there. I stared at the mirror and looked at this face, the face I shared for almost twenty-three years with Alicia, my beloved twin sister.

I remembered her beautiful pale face, sleeping at the coffin and drowned into darkness. The dream I had when I suffered from the fever made me remembered the pain of losing the half of my soul. I look down at the picture of me and Vivio standing besides Alicia and Chrono’s grave.

It was a day before we leave America; we stood in front of their grave and praying. Alicia and Chrono, It’s been a year since both of you left us. Vivio is here praying for both of you. Her body had recovered and she won’t having problem from the injuries she got from that accident, with the effort of the doctors and advanced health technology, her life was saved, but her heart can’t be that easily healed. No matter how skilled the doctor, no matter how advanced the technology, she often woke up at the middle of the night, screaming and shouted, searching for both of you. She kept asking us if she became a good girl will you came back. Lindy-san and I can’t answer her, all I could do was hugged her and crying with her until she felt asleep Today, we came to bid a farewell; we are going to return to Japan. Mom’s had fallen sick and she needed someone to manage her company and I decided to bring Vivio with me. I promised both of you that I will take good care of her, giving her love, and watched over her future.

I opened my eyes and looked at Vivio hugging Lindy-san, I saw her eyes stared at her parents gravestones. I toke out a small harmonica from my pocket.”Vivio…Let’s sing the song we used to sing with your mother.” Vivio nodded and as I began to play the harmonica, Vivio’s angelic voice began to scattering over the cemetery. I kept playing the harmonica guiding her until the end of the song. After that I hugged her and we started to cry again. For her to possess your angelic voice, your hair and eye made me grateful for God to let her here now staying with me.

I placed my hand to my forehead to checked my heat, it wasn’t as bad as yesterday but I felt better after taking the medicine and rested.

I was pushing myself over this weeks with my overloaded works while didn’t having enough time to rest and after standing in the storm to protected Nanoha’s flowers, my body was not able to take it any longer and I collapsed, losing to a fever. Geeze…The fact that I lost myself over a fever annoyed me, since losing wasn’t something acceptable for my mother and she would scolded, hit and bannered us to eat anything for a day when we lost to anything and I just used to irritated to my self when I lost.

After finished everything in my room I walked to the kitchen to prepare the breakfast and Vivio joined me after a few minutes. She hugged me to give me a morning kiss in my cheeks something that never happened before so it made me happy and as soon as the breakfast ready we started to eat.

When we were eating, I saw Vivio stared at me with worried face.” Ne…Fate-san.” Vivio called me with small voice.” Hmm…? What it is Vivio?” I looked at her now.

“Are you sure you are fine now?” I smiled at her patting her head.

“I am fine, sorry for making you worry.” I am happy she worried about me but I can’t let her worry.

“Are you really sure? Cause you know, when I kissed your cheek before I can felt it, it was still a little hot.” I looked at her surprised, well it was truth that I still felt the fever slightly but what shocked me the most was the meaning behind the kiss. I looked at the little girl still stared at me, I walked to her and hold her into my hand. I placed my forehead into her small temple.

“See…It wasn’t that hot anymore, I felt better now and don’t worry okay?” I saw Vivio’s face relieved now.

“Uhm…Just promise me not to push yourself over again.” Vivio hugged me after saying that.

“Okay I promise you.” I stroked her hair lightly.

“Then let’s do the pinky swear.” She showed her pinky and I hooked my pinky into hers.

“Okay now, if a promise. If you broke it someone will stoles all of your panties.” I shocked after hearing that, I saw Vivio’s innocent smile in her face, did she even understand what she had just said?

“Wh-who told you something like that?” I asked Vivio panicked.

“Nanoha-san…she was the one who taught me to kiss your cheek to checked you body’s heat too, she’s really a nice people isn’t she.” Vivio eyes sparkled when she said something about Nanoha. I sighed I can’t believed it Nanoda told Vivio something like that, she is a little, no. she is “dangerous” is what I though to my self.

“Vivio, listen to me. Don’t easily believed in what other people told you, the world is full of liars and dangerous peoples understand? I saw Vivio nodded and smiled at me.

“Good girl, now let’s get going, we are going to be late if we don’t hurry, I will drive you to school.” I put down Vivio and began to clean up and set out as soon as we finished.

Continued to chapter 4

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

Thanks for the advise Haru-san and the suggestion it really helped me a lot thanks.

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

Vivio is lucky to have someone like Fate to take care of her, the poor girl have gone through a lot of sad things.

A.'s picture
Joined: 08/14/2009
Posts: 4272

Thanks for the new chapter Netsu. Nanoha wasn't in this last update but at least she's indirectly making Fate and Vivio's relationship a bit better, I think.

There are still a few grammar mistakes in the fic that I noticed, but nothing important I think. Also you wrote "chapter four" instead of three, which I modified in your post to avoid confusion.

Take care~

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

A. wrote:
Thanks for the new chapter Netsu. Nanoha wasn't in this last update but at least she's indirectly making Fate and Vivio's relationship a bit better, I think.

There are still a few grammar mistakes in the fic that I noticed, but nothing important I think. Also you wrote "chapter four" instead of three, which I modified in your post to avoid confusion.

Take care~

Sorry for the trouble Haru-san, and thanks for modified my mistake.

chapter four in progress...XD

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

Untied Strings chapter four:

I was in the middle of getting home from my office when I saw Nanoha standing in front of a flower shop locking the door and hanging a closed board in the door. I parked my car at the parker slot near the shop and walked toward her. I looked at the shop’s name Raising Heart.

“Nanoha…” I called her and she was surprised when she saw me here.

“Hey,Fate-chan. What are you doing here? Are you all right now?” She looked at me and trying to kisses my cheeks but I avoided it.

“Mou…why are you avoided it?” She tried to kisses my cheeks again and I try to avoided again but this time she had predicted my motion and ended kissed my lips. I can felt her soft lips touch my lips and I lost my balance and end up sitting in the floor blushed.

“Thanks for the treat Fate-chan.” She grinned and offered her hand to help me to get up. I sighed and stood up by myself refused to accept her help.

“Lets get to the car; I drive you home since we are neighbors now.” I walked to the car and she followed me from behind.

“Are you angry Fate-chan? But it was your fault for avoiding my kisses.” She looked at me while I was driving.

“It was your fault for teaching Vivio something like that.” I kept looking at the front while answered her question.

“Something like that? What is that referred to?” She grinned and staring at me, waiting for an answer.

“Don’t pretend you didn’t know anything. What the hell about getting all of your panties stolen if you broke a promise.” I saw she giggled when I said that.

“Why can’t it happen? There are so many perverted in this world.” She looked at the car’s window and placing her head on her hand.

“Yeah, and one of them are here beside me?” I smiled at her and she laughed after hearing what I said.

“Glad to hear that.” She turned her head at me and I smirked.

“What’s the meaning of that smirked? Is being a perverted something wrong? were the desires of wanting to held, to kiss and to touch the ones I love turns me into a criminal?” She was looking at me with serious eyes, making me nervous.
“W-well, as long as the ones you love doesn’t mind and love you like how you love he or she.” I tried to answer this question from my own experiences.

“So you wouldn’t mind if I touch you? Like the kissed before.” She grinned and I knew it she’s the queen of perverted!

“That was an accident!” I blushed and tried to hide my face from her by looking away from her side, and I was going to hit a parked car if Nanoha didn’t shout and I didn’t toke the brake right at the time.

“Mou…Fate-chan, are you trying to kill me? Just because I am a perverted, doesn’t mean I have to die. Seriously…” She stared at me with her shocked face.

“If you don’t want to die, don’t ever tease me when I am driving!” I was shocked to, geez it was so close.

“So I could tease you whenever you are not driving?” Here it is her evil smile came again. I sighed and decided to ignore her until we arrived at home.

When we arrived, I saw Vivio coming toward us from Nanoha’s house followed with a girl behind her. “Welcome home Fate-san.”

“I am home Vivio.”

When I saw that girl, Nanoha introduced her to me. “Let me introduced you Fate-chan. She is Takamachi Einhart, my little sister and currently studying at Uminari Junior high school.”

“Nice to meet you Fate-san, I am Takamachi Einhart.”

“Nice to meet you too, Ein-chan.” She looks like a nice girl; she had a different aura from her perverted sister.

“Fate-san, Ein-chan had taught me something nice.” Vivio was taking something from her pocket and showed me a ring made from the flowers,.

“It’s beautiful; you are doing a good job Vivio, and thanks Ein-chan.” I smiled at her.

“It was nothing; I learned it from Nanoha-nee.” She looked at Nanoha and smiled at her.
“Well, you do really loves flower aren’t you Nanoha. That’s something odd considering your perverted personality.” I saw her giggle and coming towards me and whispered something into my ear.

“I do really love flower but I love your blushing face too.” She kissed my cheek and smiled at me.

Continued to chapter 5

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

Nanoha is quite the bold one, wonder how long Fate will try to resist her. :3

A.'s picture
Joined: 08/14/2009
Posts: 4272

Nanoha is indeed one bold perv, but I like her xD If she keeps going like this I bet she'll have Fate in her bed in record time! It's also nice that Vivio has a new friend, I just hope that she's a sweet girl like Vivio, and not a little perv ^^

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

Untied Strings chapter 5:


“Na-Nanoha!” I blushed while placing my hand at my cheek where Nanoha had kissed.

“Hmm? What it is F-a-t-e-c-h-a-n? If you want “something more” I can’t give it since Vivio and Ein-chan is here after all, but I don’t mind if you sneak into my room at the middle of the night and I will gladly “playing” with you until morning. Okay?” She said it with a playful tone, grinned and winked at me.

“Wh—what?! Like the hell I am going to do something like that!” I said it with a shaking voice and I can felt my face getting hotter with Nanoha’s words.

“What is “something more” and she have to sneak at the middle of night just to play with you?” Vivio asked Nanoha with a confused face while I saw Ein-chan blushed when she heard Vivio’s question.

“My…you want to know Vivio? It…” Before she could explain anything, I closed Vivio’s ears and staring at Nanoha with an anger face.

“Wow… I love this expression, It’s so sexy~.” Her playful tone came again as she clapped her hands in front of her face while saying these words and I can felt my anger face turned into a cherry in an instant.

I held Vivio’s hand and starting to walk into the house without looking at Nanoha. Because I knew she is going to making fun of me again if she saw my blushed face.

“Good night Fate-chan and Vivio! And just throws a small rock into my window if you miss me and I’ll be there for you Fate-chan!” She shouted and waved her hand to us with a cheerful face.

I closed and I leaned my body to the door. I can felt my heart racing so fast. I sighed and when I looked down I found out Vivio is staring at me now.

“Are you all right Fate-san?” She looked at me with worried face.

“I am all right Vivio, I just a little tired.” I gave her my best smile tried not to make her worry.

She held my hand and drawing me into the living room and told me to sat down. I sat down and Vivio began to rub my back.

“Nanoha-san told me to rub your back if you feel tired.” She smiled and I can felt her small hand rubbing my back, it was not powerful enough to release my sore back, but I can felt her warm hands rubbing my heart. Maybe it wasn’t that bad having her as our neighbor.

“Thank you Vivio.” I thanked Vivio and let her rubbed my back before telling her to took a bath while I prepared the dinner.

I was locking the front door when I saw Vivio and Ein-chan got out from their house. I offered to drive them into their destination and we began to get going when everyone was ready.

“Uhm…Fate-san” I heard Ein-chan called me from the back sit sitting beside Vivio.

“Yes, what it is Ein-chan?” I asked Ein-chan while kept looking at the front.

“What do you feel about my sister?” I took the brake accidentally shocking from Ein-chan’s question.

“Ein-chan!” Nanoha shouted at her sister.

“But I…I am worried about you Nanoha-nee…” She said it with a worried face looking at her sister.

‘Ein-chan…” Nanoha was moved by ein’s words and hugged her.

“You don’t need to worry Ein-chan, I can handle it, believe in your sister okay?” Nanoha patting Ein’s head and smiled to assured Ein she can take care of it. Ein nodded and apologized to me for asking the question.

“u-uhm…” I tried to calm down before continued to drive.

“Thanks Fate-chan.” Nanoha got out from the car kissed my cheek before walking into the shop.

“Na-Nanoha…” I called her with a hesitated voiced.

She turned up after a few step and looking at me sitting in the car.

“I…” I was going to asked her before I heard she said something.

“Ne…Fate-chan, don’t think to deep about Ein-chan question and just forget it okay?” Nanoha stared at me with sad eyes.

I was surprised she knew what I wanted to ask and this the first time I saw her sad face.

“Okay…” I took a deep breath before answered her.

“Thanks Fate-chan.” She continued to walk into her shop after thanking me.

I was walking frm the parked slot to reach the lift and when the lift door was about to closed, I hear someone shouted to wait for her.

I held the lift door from closing and I saw Hayate, bending her body panting after running to here.

“Thanks Fate-chan, you saved me.” She got into the lift and we began to going up into the office.

“How is auntie Precia? Got any better?” I heard Hayate asked about my mother condition.

“She’s still the same, always over working herself and giving Arf trouble to take care of her. I won’t be surprised if someday she collapsed if she kept doing this” I told Hayate my mother’s condition with a sad voice.

“Don’t worry; Aunt Precia is a strong woman.” Hayate tapped my back after said that to me and smiled at me.

“Thanks Hayate.” I smiled back at her and saw her staring at my face.

“W-what’s it is Hayate? Why are you looking at me like that?” I panicked when she stared at me.

“There’s a lipstick stain at your cheek.” She said it while pointed at my left cheek.

I was surprised and hurried to wipe it with my handkerchief before checking to find any more stain in my cheek and relieved when there is nothing left.

I saw hayate giggled when the lift door opened, “Don’t worry fate-chan, I won’t tell anyone about that.” She touched her own left cheek before leaving me standing in front of the lift blushed.

Continued to chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews.

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

Nanoha is such a tease, but I never expected her to be flustered by Einhart.

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

I posted chapter six here without getting it edited before, If you want to read a better story with a better grammar and words, you’ll have to waiting for it to get edited and posted at

Untied Strings chapter 6:

I was working in my office room when Hayate get inside and dragged me to have lunch together. We arrived at a café and having our lunch there.

“Mind if I asked you about the lipstick stain?” She asked me with a curios face.

I stayed silent and drunk the tea pretended to didn’t hear her question.

“Well, don’t wanna answer huh?” She took out a note from her pocked.

“Let’s see, her name is Takamachi Nanoha. She moved to your house next door three days ago and she’s currently working as a florist at flower shop named Raising Heart.” After that she took out some photo. I chocked and coughed when I saw Nanoha and me inside the photo. And I found the photo when nanoha accidentally kissed me too.

I took the tissue to wipe my mouth before saying anything. “You stalked me?!” I was shouted at her for having someone stalked at me.

“Ckckck...You are too innocent Fate-chan and I need to know about the people around your life to make sure my cute little Fate-chan won’t be fooled by other people; you are my precious little cousin after all. ” She grinned and began to drink her coffee.

“Hayate~~~” I signed, Hayate’s always like that, she love to teased me since long time ago and Alicia always there to protected me from her, we used to play and studying together until Alicia left Japan and not long after that, I followed Alicia leaving her alone in Japan. I had been thinking of her as my own sister and I know she sees me as her little sister too. And after Alicia died, she became more protective over me. I know she worried about me but for her to have someone stalking on Nanoha made me worried.

“I won’t do anything to her, so you don’t need to worry. And I found out she is interesting, trying to take my little fate-chan away from me, hehehe…Let’s see how far she could do it. I can’t wait to meet her soon hehehe....” She began to grinning and mumbling something in her own world, giving me a bad feeling.

The scariest thing for me is when Hayate met Nanoha. I don’t want to imagine how they would cooperate to tease me. I kept sulking down.

“H-Hayate…lunch time is over you know, we need to get back to the office.” I tried to take her back into the real world with work as the excuse.

“Ah…you’re right, let’s get going.” She came back and paid the bill for us before going back to the office.

I drove my car to pick up Nanoha at Raising Heart after finished my work. I went inside the store and saw Nanoha still cleaning up wearing her work uniform

“Nanoha…” I called her and when she saw me she dashed to give me a hug.

“You came to pick me up Fate-chan? How sweet of you. Wait a minute okay? I will finish it as soon as possible. I can’t keep my honey waiting after all.” She stopped for a while and begins to talk with a seduced voice, “Or… you prefer to watch me getting change? I wouldn’t mind if it is you.” She grinned and staring at me.

“I-I- I’ll be waiting at the car! See me there when you finished!” I run outside with a blushed face after saying that and I could hear her laughed voice when she saw my reaction.

Seriously…she had got back into her perverted self and starting to tease me again, somehow it made me happy to see her cheerful self again but on the other side made me sad for not being able to get her faith to share her sadness.

I saw Nanoha approaching and getting inside the car. “Want to go somewhere Nanoha? I’ll accompany you if you want.” I asked her and I saw her stunned before a wide grin come out from her lips making me regretted for asking her before.

“My…Looks like I turned you on when I inviting you to watch me changing, because you are asking me to accompanying you to a love hotel now, I didn’t expect that you are this bold Fate-chan, but of course I’ll gladly accompanying you~.” She said it with her finger placed at her cheeks.

“I-I-I ne-never said anything about love hotel!” I panicked and ended up shouting with blushed face.

“Ooh…So I did make you turned on before.” Her naughty voice came out to playing at my reaction.

I could feel my face was going to exploded making me speechless after falling to her double trapped words.

“Ahahaha…You are the best fate-chan, that’s why I said I loved your blushed face before. You are making me falling for you more.” She kept laughing at my cherry face.

Her last words turned into a gun and I felt my heart got shoot making me wanted to cry and I sighed. She stopped her laugh and I could feel my right arm grabbed by her hands and she placed her head there.

“I wouldn’t mind going anywhere as long I am with you. Why don’t you decide it?” She closed her eyes getting comforted from my warm arm.

We arrived at home and I saw a car parked in front of my house, making me wondering for anyone here visiting my house.

“Mou…I did say I won’t mind going anywhere as long I am with you, but why we came back home now?” She asked me with a disappointed face when we got out from the car standing in front of the gate.

“Well, I am thinking of having dinner with you at my house, you don’t want it?”
I asked her to get an answer.

“It’s only both of us?” Her disappointed face changing into a hopeful face now.

“It’s four of us. Can you help me to call Ein-chan over to my house?” I could see her pouting mouth while she walked into her house to get Ein-chan.

I walked into my house when I opened the house I surprised to found Hayate standing in front of me.

“Welcome home Fate-chan.” Hayate smiled at me with a very cheerful face.

“It’ll be five of us now.” I whispered to myself.

Continued to chapter 7

Thanks for the comments Haru-san and Langrisser-san

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

I'm curious to see how things will go between Nanoha and Hayate.

A.'s picture
Joined: 08/14/2009
Posts: 4272

Hayate is fun, I like how she teases Fate (as if with Nanoha it wasn't bad enough for our blonde xD). I hope Hayate helps Nanoha get Fate ^^

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

here's unedited chapter 7 of Untied Strings if you are confused over same part of it please wait for the edited one at, sorry for the inconvenient:

Untied Strings chapter 7:

“Where do you think you are going Fate-chan?” Hayate asked me she saw me trying to get out from the house.

“Eh? Ah. I-I forget something in my car and I-I think I am going to get it. Do you mind it?” I tried to make excuse to get out from here to take Nanoha to have dinner at other place and I don’t need to worry about Vivio, since Hayate’s here.

“I won’t mind if you are taking something from your car, but if you are trying to take her away I can’t let that happen you know. Do you see the car parked outside? It wasn’t mine; I borrowed it from my friend to make sure you didn’t aware of my presence here. You can’t run away from me with a lame excuse Fate-chan, you should have studying to lied with a better word and acting, people won’t be fooled just with a cute face, don’t you know how popular you are? There are many peoples idolizing you, they always had they eyes following you whenever you are near them, there are some people taking your pictures and stalking you, but of course I always “taking care” of the other stalkers, and you never realize it, that’s why I can’t let you and Vivio alone, you are too innocent and Vivio still a child, don’t you ever think what will happen to me if someone hurt both of you? Do you think I could just put it aside from my mind? Of course I can’t! I can’t allow any bad people near you or Vivio, I’ll test everyone who have guts to approach my dearest Fate-chan and Vivio. Takamachi Nanoha isn’t an exception and I can’t wait to meet her soon. Ooh…I am really excited; I can’t stop my self from talking, hurry up and come here Takamachi Nanoha, I am waiting for you, there’s many thing that I am planning to do, something like that and something like this, khekhekhe…” She laughed while crossing her arm keep talking to her self, sinking into her own world.

I was too scared to move or to say anything; she was serious with her words. I remembered when some guys tried to approach me, they are always dashed out from my house after interrogated by Hayate and they were avoiding or running away when they saw me, making me curios for Hayate’s interrogation, but she never allowed me to join her in interrogation. And this time she’s going to have Nanoha in her integration room, a room where she used to sleep when she stayed over here. What will happen if Nanoha dashed out from this house and avoiding me, sure she won’t tease me anymore but I would be lonely if she won’t be my friend anymore. I can’t oppose Hayate but I don’t want to lose nanoha, what should I do? I kept sulking down until I saw Vivio coming from living room.

“Fate-san welcome home, what are you doing standing in here and wha-?” she stopped asking when she looked at Hayate. She dashed behind me and I could see her sacred face.

“Wh-what happened to Hayate-san? I am scared Fate-san.” She kept hiding behind me.

“Hayate! Stop downing into your own world, you are scaring Vivio!” I shouted to wake Hayate.

“Ah! I am sorry Vivio, did I scared you? Please forgive me honey.” Hayate returned from her own world and got down to take a look at Vivio who’s still hiding behind me.

“U..uhm, I forgive you Hayate-san. But don’t scare Vivio again, okay?” She walked to give Hayate a hug.

“Thanks Vivio, I promise I won’t do it anymore.” She smiled at Vivio.

I giggled at their conversation and surprised when I heard someone knocking the door.

“Fate-chan, It’s me Nanoha. Open your heart for me please!” I heard Nanoha’s voice shouting to tell me to open my heart and not the door. How could she still teasing me in a time like this, seriously. I blushed at nanoha’s word and surprised to find another scream.

“Kyaaaaaaaaaa…Hayate-san turning into a demon!” I saw Vivio crying while running into her room when she saw Hayate’s face.

“Don’t worry Vivio, Hayate isn’t a demon, she just excited from a certain things so don’t be afraid of her.” I hold Vivio into my arm and taking her into kitchen to prepare dinner.

“But…but, her face looks like a demon before.” She still scared from Hayate’s face back there, but I can’t blame her for getting so scared over it, to tell the truth it did scare me too.

“We know how Hayate love us, even if she turned into a demon, she won’t hurt us, we have to be able to accept her everything, her weakness and her strength, all of it just like how she accepted us. Understand?” I patted her head while smiled at her.

“Okay, I understand Fate-san, I won’t afraid of her “turning into demon’s face” anymore. I’ll try to accept her everything and give her love more than she had gives to me.” I still saw her scared face but she tried to fight it made me so proud of her.

“You are a good little girl Vivio and I am so proud of you. Now, lets prepare the dinner, would you help me, my sweet little princess?” I put Vivio down and smiled at her.

“Uhm! I will help you Fate-san.” She smiled back at me and we begin to cook.

As we began to prepare the dinner, I take a look at Hayate’s door room. It’s been half an hour since they entered the interrogation room. After I introduced Hayate to Nanoha, Hayate invited Nanoha to got interrogation with her and nanoha told me Ein had fallen asleep so she won’t joining us for dinner before entering the room while Hayate told me to look over Vivio and prepared dinner while they were having the interrogation.

I could feel my racing heart, wondering what happening inside the room now. What did Hayate do to Nanoha? Will Nanoha be able to convince Hayate to accept her into my life? I sighed and tried to concentrate at my cooking. Not long after that I heard the interrogation room opened and Nanoha got out followed by Hayate. They are still talking with each other, so I approaching them.

“I though I was going to scare you away before, but you didn’t and it makes me very happy, look like Fate-chan has found a nice friend here. Thank you Nanoha-chan.” Hayate smiled at Nanoha.

“I should be the one to thank you Hayate-chan, if you didn’t keep protecting Fate-chan like you used to, I don’t think I still have a chance to “enjoy” her blushing face.” Nanoha smiled back at Hayate before she noticed me and dashed to me.

“Whats wrong Fate-chan? Are you worried I would run away like some useless guys before? I won’t and I will keep staying by your side, just believe in me okay?” She smiled at me with a confident face, making me blushed.

“What happened inside the interrogation room? What did Hayate do to you?” I asked her with a curios face.

“You want to know? I’ll tell you know if you let me kiss you.” She approached my face and tried to kiss me but I chopped her head lightly.

“Auw…A chop of love…Nyahaha…” She giggled while touching her forehead making me blushed for her cute reaction.

“My…Please restrain yourself when I and Vivio’s here, you two have forgetting our existence and getting into your own world, seriously… isn’t it Vivio?” Hayate grinned while looking at Vivio.

“U-uhm…” the confused Vivio just agreed to Hayate’s question when Hayate winked at her.

“I-I didn’t and Vivio don’t agree over something that you don’t understand. They are going to take advantage of you.” I blushed and looking at Nanoha smiled at me.

“Can’t we have the dinner yet? I am starving.” Vivio said it while looking at us with her innocent face.

Continued to chapter 8

Thanks for the comments Haru-san and Langrisser-san it made me really happy. thank you ^__^.

langrisser's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1396

Hayate is scary, I see she got along well with Nanoha, luckyly, she gives her blessing to Nanoah to pursue her relationship with Fate.

If I were Fate, I'd be a bit worried that Hayate and Nanoha becomes friends, what could these two devils do to poor Fate...

A.'s picture
Joined: 08/14/2009
Posts: 4272

Hayate is such an overprotective friend~ and she scared the other stalkers too xD It's good that Hayate gave Nanoha her approbation, it would be nice if she now can start playing cupid for them ^^

ditto526's picture
Joined: 08/17/2010
Posts: 295

this is fun

Netsu's picture
Joined: 08/19/2010
Posts: 49

I have finished chapter 8 but I think the grammar is too messed up XD. So lets just wait for it to get edited first. Thanks for the comments. XD

Honulicious's picture
Joined: 12/18/2009
Posts: 123

grammar too messed up?? nah, it wasn't bad. i know my grammar isn't perfect, but I hope it's good enough for the readers ;P hee it's a great story netsu! i'm really happy i get to read it before it comes out ;P haa


Monichanz's picture
Joined: 01/31/2010
Posts: 75

Well I haven't comment on your story yet in here or at but I been reading since you started it :) I really love how this story is going it's cute and funny xD love how Nanoha is so bold and perverted in front of Fate and teaching Vivio weird stuff lol and also the over protected and teasing Hayate lol I love how she makes all men run away xD may my day :3 and I feel sorry about Vivio getting scare but only if she knew how Fate feel xD always getting tease and now it will get worse because of nanoha xD those two together make an evil combination for Fate Lol poor Fate I hope she will able to survive xDD and no you don't have as bad as grammar than me you should that een when I talk I got like worst grammar ever and my friends always correct me XD anyway can wait for next chapter :D And wow this is long 0.o

~what happen if nanoha and fate are real~

NetsuMe's picture

I am currently at my working place so I am using my phone to comment. anyway, if honulicious-san stlill haven't finished to edit the chapter 8 when I got home, maybe I will posted the unedited one here since you don't mind for the messed grammar XD..
Thanks for all of the supports
^ ^, I'll keep to write the story for all of you,the readers of this fic. And I will change the story's rate from T to M if I think I'll be able to write it better XD...