My first Fan fiction which I have planned for time but always having trouble in writing it,please enjoy it. >__<
The Untied Strings
I am sitting in my office with so much paper work still loaded there in my desk; I closed my eyes trying to let them rest for a while. I have stayed there to finish my work for about ten hours without taking any break wishing to finish it as soon as possible, but they just keep coming making it endless. I look at the window to find the sun had started to sink; making the sky’s color became darker. After stretching out my body I decided to go home and finish the remaining work there because I know that little girl is waiting for me.
I got out from the elevator and walked to the parking lot to find my car and as soon I find it I get in car to drive me home.
“I am home. ”I changed my high heels into house slipper before walking to the living room to find no one there so I went to the kitchen and finally find her.
”I am home Vivio.” The little girl with Christmas color eyes is standing besides the dining table placing the food that she has just cooked.
”Ah, welcome home Fate-san, I have just finished the last dish, lets start dinner.” I smiled at her and nodded.
As we sit down and start to eat I hear my phone ringing. I take a look at the caller name before picking it up. ”Fate, it is me Lindy, it’s been a month since you and Vivio leave America and moved to Japan, how is it? Has my cute granddaughter doing fine?” I can hear the kind and caring voice talking from my phone, I looked at Vivio staring at me curiously.
” She is fine Lindy-san, Vivio has been a good girl, and she has found many wonderful friends to sharing her worlds now. So you don’t need to worry too much about her.” I hear a relief sound coming out from her and then I offered the phone to Vivio
“Its grandma.” Vivio take the phone and begin the conversation happily.
Watching Vivio talking with varies cheerful expression dazzled me when Vivio called.
” Fate-san, grandma wants to talk to you.”
I picked up the phone from Vivio and knowing the direction of the coming up conversation I told Vivio to eat first and walked away from the dining room and arrived at living room, standing beside the window before putting the phone to my ear.
“Yes Lindy-san, what is it?
“So Vivio still hasn’t called you “Mom” yet has she?” Lindy-san voice showed up her sad voice.
“… She needs time. It’s going to take more time for her to be able to recover. It’s still hasn’t so long since they leave her in that accident.” I tried to be strong enough to not let this conversation reminding me of that time, the time they leave us.
“Fate…” Lindy-san sighed before continued her words.
“I wished you and Vivio’s here with me, but with your current condition its looks impossible to happen. You are a kind woman; you choose to help your mother with her company over your love to music. And it worsens when they leave us. I know it’s hard for you, but you have to remember you are not alone, Vivio’s not alone, be strong Fate…”
Lindy-san is suffering to, she lost her son and daughter-in-law at the same time leaving her granddaughter with me in a far away place, its must be harder for her.
“Thanks Lindy-san, I will be strong enough for Vivio, for you to depend on.” I made up my mind to become stronger; I looked up at the night sky with my palm placed at my chest “I won’t lose to anything.”
“You know Fate? Hearing this from you have given me strength too and I always thinking of you as my own daughter since long time ago, If you ever need anything just call me, You understand dear? And now would you grant me a little wish? Would you please call me mother?”
Lindy-san said something that make me blushed, yes I have always think her as my own mother too, but to call her mother now, i-its just…
“What’s wrong Fate? Don’t you think me as your mother too?” Lindy-san sound disappointed.
“No… no it’s not like that! It-its just…I-I am…” I can’t say it out, It really embarrassing..
“Hem?…come on Fate, just called me Mom and I will be enough for me.” Lindy-san’s sad voices leaving me no other choice.I take a deep breath before say it.
“M-Mom...” I said it and blushed but feel happy too.
“Now, good girl. Thank you Fate. Its makes mo so happy and I think I can have a nice dream no, I love you and tell Vivio I love her too, Good night.”
“Good night Lin-…M-mom.” Lindy-san sounds happy when she hung up the phone and so does me.
When I am leaving the window, I noticed the light come from the house next door, Its strange since when we move here they house has been empty. I walk to the kitchen finding Vivio has finished her dinner and she is washing the dishes now.
“Vivio, I saw light from the house next door, do you know anything?” I asked Vivio while sitting and continue to eat the dinner.
“Ah! Yes, they are going to be our new neighbors, I met them when coming home from school.” Vivio tell me while finished clean up the kitchen.
I can tell she that she is tired and called her over, I hugged her and kiss her forehead before escorting her to her bed.
“Fate-san.” Vivio called me as I sitting besides her bed.
“What it’s Vivio?” I asked her smiled at her.
“I want to hear you to play the flute for me, will you?” with that puppy eyes she look at me.
“Of course, just wait a minute.” I walked to my room to take my flute and returning to Vivio’s room and started to play a song for her. Sometimes before go to sleep Vivio asked me to play something for her and I always did it for her with gladly.
Not long after that, Vivio fall a sleep and before leaving her room I stroke her hair lightly and whispered good night to her.
I can;t believe it! I have failed to write NanoFate fanfic many time. I have many ideas in my mind but always stuck in the progress. And I hope I wont screwed up this time XD...
Thanks for the fic Netsu! This story is looking promising, I like the family setting that you have going in this first chapter, and I'll be looking forward to see Nanoha's role in all this.
If I can give you some advice, I think you will need a proofreader for this fic. I'm not very good with English, but noticed some grammar mistakes in this first chapter that probably someone with better understanding of the language can fix pretty quickly.
Looks like it'll be a nice story, I'll look forward to it. :3
Netsu-san... your first language is English or Spanish?
Maybe I can help you with some words.
By the way I like the story.
(I have tried to find some vocabulary at the google translate but still can't find out better translation)
I don't recommend using google to translate, at least in spanish it's very imprecise. I would suggest you to look for the words in www.wordreference.com Their forum is pretty good too.
About your fic:
Fate was still awake at 4:15 due to work, and she decided to go out in a torment to help a stranger protect her flowers? She sure has her priorities in the right order xD But maybe she had everything planned and she pretended to be sick so she could get Nanoha to nurse her... that would make sense xD And Nanoha is bold, which is great too ^^
Thanks for the chapter, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter. By the way, I think it would be good if when you update the chapter that you uploaded to fanfiction.net, set the align to the left, and try your luck posting a proofreader request.
I see the White Devil is ready to jump on her "unlucky" victim. :3
Vivio is lucky to have someone like Fate to take care of her, the poor girl have gone through a lot of sad things.
Thanks for the new chapter Netsu. Nanoha wasn't in this last update but at least she's indirectly making Fate and Vivio's relationship a bit better, I think.
There are still a few grammar mistakes in the fic that I noticed, but nothing important I think. Also you wrote "chapter four" instead of three, which I modified in your post to avoid confusion.
Nanoha is quite the bold one, wonder how long Fate will try to resist her. :3
Nanoha is indeed one bold perv, but I like her xD If she keeps going like this I bet she'll have Fate in her bed in record time! It's also nice that Vivio has a new friend, I just hope that she's a sweet girl like Vivio, and not a little perv ^^
Nanoha is such a tease, but I never expected her to be flustered by Einhart.
I'm curious to see how things will go between Nanoha and Hayate.
Hayate is fun, I like how she teases Fate (as if with Nanoha it wasn't bad enough for our blonde xD). I hope Hayate helps Nanoha get Fate ^^
Hayate is scary, I see she got along well with Nanoha, luckyly, she gives her blessing to Nanoah to pursue her relationship with Fate.
If I were Fate, I'd be a bit worried that Hayate and Nanoha becomes friends, what could these two devils do to poor Fate...
Hayate is such an overprotective friend~ and she scared the other stalkers too xD It's good that Hayate gave Nanoha her approbation, it would be nice if she now can start playing cupid for them ^^
this is fun
grammar too messed up?? nah, it wasn't bad. i know my grammar isn't perfect, but I hope it's good enough for the readers ;P hee it's a great story netsu! i'm really happy i get to read it before it comes out ;P haa
Well I haven't comment on your story yet in here or at FF.net but I been reading since you started it :) I really love how this story is going it's cute and funny xD love how Nanoha is so bold and perverted in front of Fate and teaching Vivio weird stuff lol and also the over protected and teasing Hayate lol I love how she makes all men run away xD may my day :3 and I feel sorry about Vivio getting scare but only if she knew how Fate feel xD always getting tease and now it will get worse because of nanoha xD those two together make an evil combination for Fate Lol poor Fate I hope she will able to survive xDD and no you don't have as bad as grammar than me you should that een when I talk I got like worst grammar ever and my friends always correct me XD anyway can wait for next chapter :D And wow this is long 0.o
I am currently at my working place so I am using my phone to comment. anyway, if honulicious-san stlill haven't finished to edit the chapter 8 when I got home, maybe I will posted the unedited one here since you don't mind for the messed grammar XD..
Thanks for all of the supports
^ ^, I'll keep to write the story for all of you,the readers of this fic. And I will change the story's rate from T to M if I think I'll be able to write it better XD...