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Forgiven [Rated T]

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Sigurd's picture
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No... this has nothing to do with the lifehouse song xD... maybe just a little... >u>;; but yeah... angst... xD TEN PAGES lol. WARNING: This has been written quite sometime ago... I'll proofread this when I can... xD I just dug this up on my old NanoFate files and totally forgot about it lolz. So here goes the crappy version xD

Spoiler:
Part one

Sometimes it’s only the outer shell we see…

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

It’s been two years since we broke up. Two long and painful years of immersing myself in work. Two long years of missing her. Two years of loneliness.

“I’m sorry Nanoha… I really just don’t think I’m ready… I don’t want to see you and Vivio painfully waiting each night for my return…” She was in tears now… “I’m sorry.”

That scene has played within my dreams every night like a broken DVD player. It was the same scene that broke… no shattered my heart into pieces.

Vivio is almost turning eight… and what hurts the most is that she kept on asking me the same question: “Where is Fate-mama?”

My reply would always be the same… “Fate-mama left us for a bit. She’s going to come back soon.”

That was the lie I kept telling my daughter and myself. The lie that kept me hopeful for her return.

I cried myself to sleep every night she wouldn’t return. I kept telling myself that everything would be fine… but it really just isn’t that simple.

I shouldn’t have said I was ok with her decision that day. No… I regretted every sound uttered by it. I just wasn’t ready to let her go. No I don’t think I would ever be.

Every day became a routine for me… I would always wake up, get Vivio ready for school, I would make my way to work, and I would still think of her in between these activities.

There were times Vivio would notice what I actually felt at the moment and she would give me a nice pet in the head saying everything will be ok. It was times like that when I just hugged her and cried on her shoulder.

Some mother I am, huh?

Sometimes I would just wonder what would happen if I just disappeared from this world but I always stopped myself because there was still one person… no two people waiting for me at home: Fate and Vivio. The only people I would die and break my heart for just to see them happy.

But those were facts I had to forget at the moment. I’m currently on a mission and this scientist is kinda tough…

“So the white devil finally shows herself.” He mused.

“… We are here to place you under arrest. Come with us quietly and you might be offered a chance to change.” I commanded, my voice preaching almost no emotion.

“I don’t think so… after all it will be my pleasure to play with you.” He continued, obviously amused by my presence.

Without any other hesitation I subdued him directly and knocked him out.

“You may take him.” I said to my subordinate.

“Yes ma’am.”

~xXoXx~

This scientist’s cyborgs were actually quite a match for me. It was five against one… but I only saw them as a vent for my stress, nothing more and nothing less.

Just when I was about to go back to the chopper I noticed a needle from an injection pricked me… hopefully it’s nothing too serious… I don’t want to worry anyone, especially Vivio and Fate.

As part of our protocol I went to the clinic to get my body examined by Shamal.

“You look terrible Nanoha-san.” She says, no longer surprised by the bruises I have… she has already gotten used to it through Fate and me.

“Nyahaha… I’m here for an examination… I hope I’m not bothering you.” I apologized.

“I wouldn’t let my favorite almost-always bruised girl miss it if she herself comes here. You rarely do examinations you know.” She said, a little relieved.

“Nyahaha… I wouldn’t want to worry anyone…” I giggled, trying to hide any signs of stress.

“All right… just lie down here.” She instructed, prodding me to the medical bed.

“You seem normal except of course for the bruises.” She said typing away at the keyboard. “Just a day off for tomorrow… you should be fine.”

I got up and smiled at her. “Thanks Shamal. I’ll head home now.”

“Nanoha… please just this once… rest?” She pleaded.

“Ok, ok. But you said just one day right?” I clarified.

“Yes. Just one day.” She repeated.

“All right. I’ll do you a favor and rest for only one day.” I responded.

And with that I left the clinic and went straight home.

One day, huh? I guess… I need it… or else all this fatigue will catch up on me. Wow… I’m actually listening to Shamal… That’s rare…

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

“Hayate-chan, Nanoha promised she would take the day off tomorrow… could you clear her schedule please?” Shamal asks.

Through the monitor the brunette replied. “Sure. Nanoha taking a day off tomorrow. – Wait… could you run me by again?”

“Nanoha will take a break tomorrow.” Shamal repeated.

“Nanoha taking a break… is unusual…” Hayate thought out loud.

“Unusual… but she needs it. All that stress is going to catch up on her soon… I don’t know how long she can keep up her façade…” The doctor responded worriedly.

“… You’re right… Ever since Fate-chan left she’s drowned herself in work… and is even taking missions without any breaks…” Hayate said with an air of sadness.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

No matter how much I tried to forget… it felt like the memory was carved onto my brain… I felt like I was going crazy. She hasn’t contacted or even attempted to contact me on the two years we separated.

“I’ll always come back for you Nanoha. No matter what happens I’ll always come back for you.”

These were the words she said to me on the day she confessed to me and on other days as well… but that day was special for me because that was my happiest… I was with the one I loved, the one who always came home for me until two years ago.

The one I cannot seem to get off my mind to this very day. The one I simply cannot bear letting go of, yet I did.

“Nanoha-mama? You look sad…”

“I’m fine Vivio… did you want dinner?” I asked casually.

“Un! And some caramel milk too please!” She replied cheerfully.

“After dinner then you can have your caramel milk.” I giggled and poked her nose.

Morning came to me as usual… and my body felt heavy… but I didn’t mind it too much it was probably just from the mission.

I silently went back to sleep.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

Vivio entered Nanoha’s room to greet her a good morning but the blond was just surprised by her mother’s temperature when she hugged her.

Nanoha couldn’t respond to Vivio’s ‘Good morning’ today… her slumber remained undisturbed despite her daughter’s rowdy way of trying to get her up.

Vivio then remembered that she could call Shamal to see what’s wrong with her mother.

She pressed the speed dial for the clinic.

“Vivio? What’s wrong?” Shamal asks, noting the expression Vivio had.

Almost tearing up she replies. “Nanoha-mama… she’s really really hot… and I can’t wake her up…”

The doctor was astounded at what Vivio said.

Nanoha and not waking up was never put in a sentence whenever she was forcefully given a day off! – The doctor thought.

“I’ll be right over. Stay strong for me ok, Vivio?” The doctor said, trying to reassure the little girl.

“Un… please hurry…” She replied, crying now.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

My body feels like ten tons of steel… and it’s really cold… I don’t remember turning my house into a freezer…

I tried getting up but my body would just curl up and deny me in response…

Vivio must be in school now…

Sorry Vivio… I couldn’t make you breakfast…

I guess this is déjà vu… I guess I was always meant to be a third wheel… It’s just like back home… I was always left alone while everyone else was either running the bakery or training at the dojo…

I guess I was always meant to be alone…

“Fate-chan…” I muttered breathlessly.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

This temperature is… high… 41 degrees Celsius… how does she keep up with it? – Shamal was dumbfounded with the thermometer.

“Fate-chan…” She muttered.

You poor thing… I wish there was more I could do for you but… now I’m going to rush you to my clinic. There is little I can do with a fever this high and the limited tools I brought with me. – The doctor thought.

“Vivio… I want you to go to school Ok? Nanoha-mama is going to be fine. I’ll call uncle Yuuno for you ok?” Shamal reassured Vivio as best she could, hoping that all will go well.

“Un!” She replied.

As soon as Shamal finished arranging Vivio’s schedule she immediately contacted Hayate for an ambulance. Nanoha was still out cold from her fever.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

I felt that I was being moved… I wanted to struggle but I just couldn’t find the energy to. I slowly opened my eyes to see who was carrying me.

“…Sh..a…mal…?” I managed.

“Everything will be fine Nanoha… I’m bringing you to my clinic.” She replied urgently.

“I..f… you… say… so…” I responded… eventually passing out…

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

“How is she?” Hayate asked.

“I’m not sure myself… it’s all up to her to fight this fever.” Was all Shamal could give Hayate.

“I see… I’ll tell everyone as soon as I can.”

Shamal nodded in response.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha's POV

It’s just like when I was young… Always left behind… always a supporter in the sidelines… always alone…

There was only one person in the world who turned that view upside down: Fate-chan.

I felt really pathetic… I felt really small…

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

“I’ve already told everyone… including Fate.” Hayate said, as if not wanting to remember that conversation.

“After all these years I’ve known her… I’m sure she’ll come, no… I know she’ll come.” Vita replied.

Hayate giggled. “Maybe you’re right Vita-chan.”

“Yeah. Let’s check on her tomorrow.” The red-head said.

“With the others.” Hayate cheerfully replied.

~xXoXx~

A few hours earlier…

“Fate-chan… Nanoha’s sick…” Was what Hayate could manage to say to Fate.

The blond was, in a word, shocked. And that expression soon changed into a mixture of worry and sadness…

“I don’t think I can make it… Tell her to get well soon for me.” Fate replied, bowing her head with her bangs covering her crimson eyes.

“… Fate-chan… she’s been muttering your name every second she woke up from her fever. I really hope you know what you’re doing.” Hayate said, grieving over what the blond decided.

~xXoXx~

Fate’s POV

Am I running away? Was I just afraid to face her again?

My world just crumbled at the moment I heard Hayate say that Nanoha was sick… and desperately calling for me… I would go to her in a heartbeat… but… I just don’t know if I could face her again…

Not after I closed her relationship with me. I’m such a coward…

A few minutes I received another phone call… from someone unexpected: Vivio.

“Fate-mama!” Came the angry tone. “I won’t call you mama anymore if you just abandon Nanoha-mama like this.”

I was astounded at the tone she was using at me…

“I’m sorry Vivio… it’s just that I’m really busy with this mission…” I tried to explain.

She glared at me this time. “Fate-mama is big idiot! Nanoha-mama is suffering… she doesn’t like being alone. I can’t visit her… but I know you can!”

And just like that she ended the call.

Kids these days… but… I really had no mission…

I laughed at myself… for being such a pathetic coward… even having to have my own child scold at me for my mistakes…

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

I woke up to people’s chattering…

“Ah… she’s awake.” A familiar male voice said… Chrono?

“If she didn’t I would wonder why Shamal kept her here.” Another familiar voice said… Vita?

“What am I doing in Shamal’s clinic?” I asked weakly.

“You kinda went down with a really high… no you still have a fever…” Hayate corrected herself.

“No wonder I feel like a block of concrete…” I joked.

“I wonder how your body managed to pull off a forty-one on the thermometer though.” Vita-chan said.

“Nyahahahaha… I’m sorry to have worried you all… but really you didn’t have to clear up your schedules for me.” I replied.

“It’s not a problem Nanoha. That’s what friends are for.” Hayate responds.

“Besides, you don’t like being alone Nanoha-san.” Signum said.

“Thank you for coming…” My voice was weaker now…

I’m about to sleep again…

“It’s all right Nanoha. Sleep you need it.” Chrono reassured.

“Good night...” I replied with a weak tone, eventually sleeping after that.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

“Wow… she has it that bad huh?” Chrono said.

“Yeah… I wonder if Fate-chan is coming… did you receive a word from her?” Hayate asks curiously.

“Nothing regarding this matter… but I’m sure she’ll visit. She doesn’t have a mission right now.” Chrono explains.

“Testarossa should stop running and face her fears.” Signum says nonchalantly.

They all continued chatting like this until visiting hours ended, leaving Nanoha all to herself again.

~xXoXx~

Fate’s POV

Signum would have said something like: “Testarossa you should look closer around you.” Or something like that…

Vita would have ranted about something like me being an idiot. Shamal would just look down in disappointment…

I really want to visit her… but what exactly is stopping me?

“It’s fear Fate. It’s the scary things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.” Chrono said through the video communication screen.

“Sorry Onii-san… I just don’t know how to face her… after breaking it off like I did two years ago…” I replied.

He sighed. “Fate nothing is going to change if you continue to mope around like this. And from what I could tell from my visit Nanoha’s life was in the gutter.”

I realized what a fool I’ve been after hearing that from my brother… I just didn’t admit it to myself… stupid, stupid pride…

“Thank you.” I replied.

“Don’t mention it. Oh and Fate… if you make a wrong decision it’s never too late to turn back. Never.” He assured.

“Thank you.” I repeated.

And with that he turned off his communication screen.

I immediately prepared myself to visit Nanoha… the person who changed my entire life by just being there for me… reaching out her hand for me.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

“Hayate… I think I’ve found the source of Nanoha’s fever!” The doctor proudly announced.

“What is it?” Hayate curiously asked.

“In her last mission she mentioned getting pricked by an injection’s needle right? I just found its properties in her blood. It contained a poisonous flower that originally came from your world. It’s called a ‘Duranta Erecta.’ I believe we have the proper medicine for the plant here.” The doctor replied cheerfully.

“Does that mean her life will be out of danger once she takes the medicine?” Hayate presses, trying to find out all she can.

“Yes. But it also depends on the immune system of the patient… but I don’t think we have much of a problem there.” The doctor explained.

“Thank goodness… I honestly thought that fever will be the end of her.” Hayate replied.

The doctor couldn’t help but smile and at the same time feel bad for her current patient. After all… she had friends that worried about her and a lover who seems that she cannot make up her mind, a stubborn lover if you will.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

This was what the world seemed like when she left two years ago… cold and heavy. It’s tempting to just give up and try again some other time but no I wouldn’t allow myself that option.

Because I knew that no matter what happens I cannot give up for Vivio. Especially Vivio.

But more than anyone else at the moment I wanted to see Fate… I wanted to see her crimson eyes that seemed to drown me whenever I locked my gaze with her. The eyes I first fell in love with twelve years ago.

~xXoXx~

Fate’s POV

I want to look into them again… I want to look into the eyes that first accepted me. The eyes that first gave me happiness. The eyes I first fell in love with twelve years ago.

“Captain I’ll be requesting permission to return home in Mid-Childa.” I reported.

He looked relieved. “Permission granted.”

“Thank you.”

And with that I started packing.

DO take note though... this is the REALLY crappy version... I might re-write this when I feel like it or when free time is duly presented to me... but other than that

Courtesy of: ayahdiamon -- http://ayah4186.deviantart.com/ --

Negi Springfield's picture
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WOW, That was a great story sigurd! this is a 10/10 for me!^^
(hope you countinue it)

langrisser's picture
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The story looks promising.

fate_testarossa's picture
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please update soon! love the story!

A.
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Good job Sigurd, it's always nice to see a new story from you.

Fate Testarossa's picture
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Great work Sigurd, I hope u can update soon.

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Since you asked why I didn't write something...and because I really love
like the angst.

I don't care if you re-write this really great story of yours, as long as you write MOAR. like very much much MOAR. *sits down and waits*


Taking on Requests for signatures (no charges, though, it's a hobby): RtS, just ask per Note or E-Mail

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Well Duranta Erecta the actual plant is (relatively) harmless.
I'm just worried what'll happen if your rendition of it takes the meanings of the two words separately.

Spoiler:
Duranta = Unruly, Erecta = No Explanation Needed

Check out my stories! Tell me what you think!
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Nanonymous
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Love the story, hope you continue it soon.

Sigurd's picture
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Just a little update for this one:

It's almost done... and it's longer than I originally thought it would be.e_e; And well... you could say it's 90% done... but... >_>; I'm going to have to rate this M soon... because... of a certain scene e.e I'm currently undergoing some ... issues with this scene... e.e but anyway... just a heads up.

Of course I'm going to provide a sneak-peek :D

Spoiler: click if you dare

The only thing separating me and Nanoha now… was the door. I twisted the doorknob and silently opened the door. I saw Nanoha who was struggling with just breathing. It was painful to see her like this. I held her hand and looked at her.

I noticed every single one of her features. Her hands were warm and I couldn’t move… even when she was unconscious.

She held me tighter.

Muahahaha... that's it... xD If I reveal any more...... then it wouldn't be a sneak-peek anymore now would it? XD Haha... slap me for being such a tease XD

Courtesy of: ayahdiamon -- http://ayah4186.deviantart.com/ --

langrisser's picture
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I feel sorry for them, poor girls... ;.;

Honulicious's picture
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ah great story!! and that was an evil laugh with that little spoiler you gave us!! don't worry, i won't slap you xp i sure hope you finish that last 10% soon ;P

Honulicious

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D= I want the rest Gurr-chan! > <

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AHHHHHH!! i WANT to know wats going to happen! >3<

Wonderfully written btw ^3^ i really like it ^3^

Keep it up ^3^

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Woah... someone commented on this XD e.e;; Although... page 18... is really rated 18... Ironic, huh? XD

Courtesy of: ayahdiamon -- http://ayah4186.deviantart.com/ --

Nanonymous
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please continue

Shari-chan
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It's so touching *sniff*. I can't wait for your next update!

Nanonymous
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Wait, where's the rest of the story?

Sigurd's picture
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The rest, sadly, is in my brain. I'm currently working on how to put it in to words up until this new project of mine came. That will be my first priority for now... don't worry I will continue these unfinished stories I've written, hopefully I don't get too many distractions while doing so.

Courtesy of: ayahdiamon -- http://ayah4186.deviantart.com/ --

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Before you read I suggest to youtube the ff songs first: Whatever it takes by Lifehouse and Everything by Lifehouse, I suggest you listen to them from the moment I flash their lyrics... don't worry it doesn't have to be exactly on time it's just to help the atmosphere a bit ^^

Spoiler: THE STOREH 8D FINALLY
A strangled smile fell from your face
Oh it kills me that I hurt you this way
And the worst part is that I didn’t even know
Now there’s a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
--Whatever it takes by Lifehouse

Sometimes it’s only the outer shell we see…

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

It’s been two years since we broke up. Two long and painful years of immersing myself with work, two years of missing her, and two years of loneliness.

“I’m sorry Nanoha… I really just don’t think I’m ready… I don’t want to see you and Vivio painfully waiting for me each night for my return.” She was in tears now. “I’m… sorry.”

It played over and over like a broken DVD player in my head. The very scene that seemed to just shatter my world into pieces, to say the least.

Over and over, this scene replayed in my dreams and woke me up in the middle of the night to realize that I myself was wet over the tears I spilt in that dream.

I curled up onto her side of the bed trying to feel her warmth even by just a little bit, trying to whiff her smell even though I know it’s long gone, and trying to remember the memories we had both happy and sad.

Vivio is almost eight. She’s spent the last two years asking me the same question: “Where is Fate-mama?” To tell the truth… it hurts.

A lot.

And my reply to that question would always be the same. “Fate-mama left us for a bit. She’ll be back soon.”

It was a lie I’ve tried to tell both myself and my daughter, the lie that has kept me hopeful for her return.

How many times have I cried myself to sleep just thinking about her? I couldn’t count anymore.

I shouldn’t have said that everything was all right back then. I regret the fact that I told her a lie that seemed to be the most ‘rational’ thing to say.

They say you don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it… and I’ve lost what I have. I set it free myself with the simple reply: “I understand.”

Ever since she left everyday became a routine for me. A never-ending cycle of work, taking care of Vivio, and going home. Even if I would immerse myself with work… I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I would rather die than to forget her for even one second.

There were times when Vivio came up to me with a worried expression on her face and I would ask what was wrong. She would just hug me and tell me that everything was going to be all right… I would just cry and hold her tightly.

Some mother I am, huh?

There were times when I wondered what would happen if I just vanish from the world. However, I have two people to go home to and I do not want them waiting in vain for my return.

But those were facts I have to forget at the moment. I am currently assigned on a mission to subdue a scientist doing illegal research here in Midchilda. He’s pretty tricky.

I broke down a door with my roundhouse kick to announce my arrival in the control room.

He looked at me and smirked. “So… the white devil has finally shown herself.”

I paused for a bit, hearing my infamous nickname. “We are here to place you under arrest. Come with us quietly and you might be offered the chance to change.”

“I don’t think so…” He walked towards the wall, “After all… it will be my pleasure to play with you.”

I didn’t need for him to say anything else. His short speech is already an act of defiance against us. I immediately subdued him and knocked him out.

“You may take him.” I told my subordinate.

It was then that I felt a bit of pain on my right thigh. It felt like a big ant biting me but… it’s just an injection with the contents half-pressed in… or so it would seem. I’ll probably have to go and have it checked out by Shamal later.

I removed the needle carefully and immediately proceeded to the next room to clear my mission.

His cyborgs are actually quite a match for me… although they could have lived normal lives it weren’t for this guy’s programming. Five against one, each one desperate to eliminate me.

~xXoXx~

While getting on the helicopter I felt a small tinge of pain, I probably didn’t notice soon but it was a syringe with most of its contents still remaining. I breathed out in relief because whatever was in here was not good news, especially coming from an enemy laboratory.

As part of protocol we had to have a check-up from the hospital to double-check our health. I went straight to Shamal right after getting debriefed from our previous mission.

“… Do you always have to look this horrible when you come after a mission?” Shamal asked, noticing the bruises all over my body.

She was probably used to it by now. Fate and I would usually come here after a mission and we somehow always looked like we went through mud for a week.

“Nyahahaha… I’m here for an examination. I hope I’m not bothering you.”

She smiled as if some sort of miracle happened. “I wouldn’t let my favourite-almost-always-bruised-girl miss it if she herself comes here. You rarely come here especially when you’re in a hurry to get home.”

I let a small smile form on my lips. “I wouldn’t really want to worry anyone you know.”

“All right. Just lie down there.” She said, prodding me to lie down on the bed.

A holographic screen showing my vitals, blood pressure, and a lot of other things were shown in front of me. I couldn’t really decipher all of it but I knew the basics.

“You seem normal, aside from the bruises.” She noted, typing away at the keyboard.

I gave her a nod and sat up. “Thanks Shamal. I’ll be going now.”

Before I could get up she grabbed my shoulder and looked at me pleadingly. “Nanoha… just this once… can you please rest?”

I didn’t know what to answer to that. At first I thought I should decline but maybe this should ne one of the times I actually do Shamal a favor.

“Ok, ok. Just one day, all right?”

“Just one day.” She replied.

“I’ll take a leave tomorrow then.”

After that I left.

One day… I guess I can wake up a bit later than normal tomorrow.

And then… what do I do?

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

Shamal popped her keys on the holographic keyboard and called Hayate to clear Nanoha’s schedule tomorrow.

“Hayate-chan, Nanoha is taking the day off tomorrow. Could clear her schedule please?” Shamal asks normally.

“All right… Nanoha taking a break to—wait what? Nanoha taking a break?” Hayate asks back, surprised.

“Nanoha is taking the day off tomorrow.” Shamal repeated.

“Nanoha and taking a break is never usually put in a sentence together. How did you manage to pull it off?” Hayate asks, discombobulated.

Shamal shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know how, but at least she’s giving herself some rest. I honestly just don’t want her to drop out of the sky due to fatigue.”

“Good point. All right leave me to clearing her schedule.” Hayate sighs in a bit of relief. “Ever since Fate left her… she’s just grabbed all the work she can get.”

~xXoXx~


Nanoha’s POV

The words played around on my head like a broken tape recorder. It was driving me nuts.

“I’ll always come back for you. Always.”

Words that always meant the world to me because she always did come home for me like promised. Until two years ago.

I can’t manage to let go of her even now…

It was…

Inevitable.

Even though I said I would…

“Nanoha-mama…?” Vivio called out to me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I gave her a smile. “What is it Vivio?”

“…You look sad.” She pointed out.

I let out a giggle. How could I lie to my own daughter who saw through me even before?

“It’s nothing Vivio. How about some dinner?”

“Un! I want some caramel milk too, please!”

I poked her nose. “After dinner.”

She pouted but nodded happily anyway.

Morning came to me like usual but my body felt really heavy. I didn’t mind too much it was just probably from the mission.

I silently went back to sleep.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

Vivio entered Nanoha’s room to greet her a ‘Good morning’ but instead she was just greeted by the abnormal temperature her mother was giving off. Nanoha couldn’t quite respond properly to her daughter, her slumber went undisturbed even though Vivio was already trying to shake her mother awake.

Vivio was ready to surge in a state of panic but she remembered a certain doctor who would come rushing any minute. She opened a holographic screen and contacted Shamal.

Shamal was just surprised to see Vivio almost in tears across the screen. “Vivio? What’s wrong?”

“N-Nanoha-mama… she’s… she’s… really warm… and… and… I can’t wake her up.” The child tried to say in between sobs.

The doctor didn’t know what quite to say. First of all she examined what was first and foremost wrong with the situation, which was Nanoha not waking up on a day off.

Nanoha and not waking up isn’t put in a sentence when she was given a day off! –The doctor thought to herself.

“I’ll be right over. Can you stay strong for me now, Vivio?” Shamal said to Vivio, trying to reassure her that everything will be all right.

“Un…” Vivio replied weakly, but there was a small hint of determination in her voice.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

My body feels like ten tons of steel… and did it get colder? I don’t remember putting the temperature that high.

I tried getting up… but my body would just curl up and deny me in response.

It felt painful to move.

Vivio should be in school by now…

Alone… again.

I guess this is déjà vu for me. Maybe… I was just meant to be the third wheel here. Just like back home… I would always be left alone in the house and everyone else would be running the bakery or training at the dojo.

“Fate-chan…” I muttered breathlessly.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

40.5 degrees Celsius! How does her body keep up with it? – Shamal thought to herself dumbfounded, while holding the thermometer.

“Fate…chan…” Nanoha muttered to herself.

“Vivio, I want you to go to school today, all right? Nanoha-mama will be ok. I’ll call uncle Yuuno for you.

“Un!” Vivio replied.

Shamal spent a moment to look at Nanoha and at the same time thinking of how Nanoha is going to pull through. After arranging Vivio’s schedule for today, Shamal immediately rushed Nanoha to her clinic and she was determined to find the root cause of the situation.

She had to.

People were relying on this person. And most of all…

She was waiting for Fate.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

I was being moved somewhere. I wanted to struggle but I couldn’t find the energy to do it. What I can do was open my eyes slowly to at least see who was moving me.

“…Sha…mal…?” I managed.

“Everything will be fine. I’m taking you to my clinic.” She replied.

“If…you…say… so…” I managed but that took all of my remaining energy and I eventually passed out.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

Hayate was one of the first people to visit Nanoha along with Yuuno and Vivio.

“How is she?” Hayate asked.

“I don’t know how her body is handling the temperature but we’ll have to rely on her stamina for now. I’m still personally looking through her data.” Was all Shamal could give.

Actually Shamal wanted to give more information but she couldn’t.

Because she didn’t have it.

No…

Not yet.

“I see… I’ll tell everyone later.” Hayate replied.

Yuuno and Vivio remained silent throughout their visit, neither of them knew what to do exactly in this kind of situation. Yuuno didn’t know how to convince Fate on going home.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

Déjà vu… It’s just like when I was a kid. Always left alone.

I felt really small.

Pathetic.

There was one person who changed all of that for me… but right now…

I don’t know.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

Hayate was talking to Shamal, her tone was mixed with worry and sadness.

“I’ve told everyone already… including Fate.” Hayate said in a pained voice, almost like she didn’t really want to remember the conversation.

“Fate better not bail out. She better come.” Vita intoned sternly.

Hayate giggled. “Let’s just wait and see.”

“The others are coming tomorrow too, right?” The red-head asked.

“Yeah, let’s visit with them all tomorrow.”

~xXoXx~

A few hours earlier…

“Fate-chan… You need to come over here, Nanoha-chan is sick…” Hayate said in a commanding voice.

Fate was, in a word, shocked to hear Nanoha’s condition. She really wanted to go; however, something was stopping her.

She didn’t know what it was.

“I… can’t make it.” The blond said, tilting her head forward so her bangs can cover her eyes.

Hayate wasn’t surprised with the answer, but that didn’t stop her from trying to convince her friend to visit. She had to try.

“… She’s been muttering your name whenever she could. She just wants you home Fate-chan.” Hayate said.

Hayate was filled with grief when she saw that Fate wasn’t going to budge. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

~xXoXx~

Fate’s POV

What in the world am I thinking? Am I just running?

I would go to Nanoha in a heartbeat… no matter where she was just for her to be happy. The moment Hayate told me what happened to her… my world just shattered.

I just…

Didn’t know how to face her.

I received another call. It was from Vivio… of all people who would call me.

“Fate-mama!” She called in an angry tone. “You can’t just leave Nanoha-mama like this!”

I was surprised at the tone she was using on me.

“I’m sorry Vivio… I really can’t come. I…” My voice faltered.

Was it because I was lying to Vivio? Or was I just tired telling the people I care about lies?

“Fate-mama is a big idiot!” She shouted in annoyance and closed the call.

… I didn’t have a mission. I wanted to go… I just didn’t know how I would face her. Not after what I did.

I laughed at myself for being such a pathetic coward. Even children scolded me now.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

I woke up to people’s chattering.

“Ah… she’s awake.” A familiar voice said.

Chrono? What is he doing here?

“If she didn’t Shamal shouldn’t be keeping her here.” Another familiar voice said.

Vita?

“What am I doing in Shamal’s clinic?” I asked weakly.

“You came down with a really—Wait you still have a fever.” Hayate corrected herself.

“No wonder I feel like a block of concrete.” I joked.

“I wondered how you were going to manage a 40 degree fever.” Shamal butted in.

“Nyahahaha… Sorry for worrying you guys.”

“No problem!” Hayate said, winking at me.

I feel like sleeping again…

“Thanks for coming…” My tone was weaker now.

Shamal put her hand on top of my forehead and says, “You can sleep. Don’t worry about us.”

“Good night…”

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

“This is the first time I’ve seen Nanoha in this kind of state.” Chrono stated.

Hayate nodded. “Yeah… Any word from Fate?”

Chrono shook his head lightly grunted at the question. “The more Fate postpones this… the more the person on this hospital bed is going to suffer.”

“Testarossa should stop running.” Signum says nonchalantly.

They all continued chatting with each other the entire day until visiting hours ended. All of them left with one question in mind: what is Fate doing?

~xXoXx~

Fate’s POV

I really want to visit her. I just didn’t know what was stopping me.

“Fate?” Chrono was through the communication screen now.

“What is it onii-chan?”

“What are you going to do about Nanoha? You honestly can’t just abandon her like this you know.” He went straight to the point.

“… But…” I tried to counter.

“Fate you don’t have any missions at the moment because I want you to visit Nanoha.” He retorted.

My lies weren’t going to work against him.

“I…”

He sighed. “You know I visited her she was muttering you name whenever she has the energy to talk. Nothing is going to change if you’re going to continue moping around like this. “

“… I… don’t know how to even look at her anymore onii-chan…” I finally confessed.

“Silly. You’re just looking at the scary things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”

He was right. I was being stupidly prideful. I need to be where I belong… that’s with Nanoha.

“Thank you.”

His face turned red, which I giggled at. “D-Don’t mention it. Now get going. I’ll talk to your captain for you.”

I’m coming Nanoha.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

“Hayate! I think I found the cause of Nanoha’s fever!” Shamal announced with pride.

“Well? Don’t keep me waiting!” Hayate said, eager to help cure Nanoha.

“In her last mission she mentioned getting pricked by an injection’s needle right? I just found its properties in her blood. It contained a poisonous flower that originally came from your world. It’s called a ‘Duranta Erecta.’ I believe we have the proper medicine for the plant here.” The doctor replied cheerfully.

“That’s good news! Does that mean we can finally stop worrying?” Hayate asked.

“Yes.” Shamal announced proudly.

“Thank goodness…” Hayate sighed out in relief.

The doctor couldn’t help but smile and at the same time feel bad for her current patient. After all… she had friends that worried about her and a lover who seems that she cannot make up her mind, a stubborn lover if you will.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

This is what the world was like when she left two years ago: cold and painful. I know I can’t give up because I know there is one… no two people waiting for me to get better. I can’t leave them like this, not when I still need to get her back.

I need to get better soon… the sooner I get better… the sooner I can demand for her to come home.

More than anyone else… I want to see Fate-chan… my Fate-chan. I want to see the eyes that I first fell in love with twelve years ago.

~xXoXx~

Fate’s POV

I want to look into them again. I want to look into the eyes that first accepted me as a person. She’s waiting for me.

I’m currently aboard Claudia, as per onii-chan’s request. Saying that he wanted me to get there as soon as possible.

~xXoXx~

Find me here
And speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That’s leading me
To the place
Where I find peace

Again

You are the strength
That keeps me walking
You are the hope
That keeps me trusting
You are the light
Into my soul
You are my purpose
You’re everything

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me, “How could it be any better than this?”

You calm the storms
And you give me breath
You hold me in your hands
You won’t let me fall
You still my heart
And you take my breath away
Would you take me in?
Take me deeper now

And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me, “How could it be any better than this?”

Cause you’re all I want
You’re all I need
You’re everthing

Everything…
--Everything by Lifehouse

The only thing separating me and Nanoha now… was the door. I twisted the doorknob and silently opened the door. I saw Nanoha who was struggling with just breathing. It was painful to see her like this. I held her hand and looked at her.

I walked towards her and sat beside her.

I noticed every single one of her features. I held her hand and I felt every centimetre of her hand, including her warm hand… It stilled me, even when she was unconscious.

She held me tighter, as if recognizing my presence.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

I somehow knew that the person holding me was Fate. Call it my gut feeling or whatever but I longed so much for her touch. I wanted to feel her. I wanted to tell her that whatever problems she was going to face I was going to be here for her.

I was going to protect her.

“Hey…” I started out weakly.

She was a bit surprised to hear from me.

“…Hey…” She replied.

I giggled. “Isn’t it supposed to be me who is sick here?”

“I… uhm…”

I reached out blindly for her lips to silence whatever excuse or apologies that was going to come out of her mouth. Telling her everything was something that I was going to do.

“You know… I really didn’t want you to go back then.” I said.

A teardrop followed by more pressure on my hand came after that. I sat up and embraced her.

“You’re such an idiot. Facing your problems alone, what am I going to be here for then?” I continued.

She continued crying, hugging me tighter.

This is the person who I confessed to… the person who meant the world to me… and the person who gave me purpose.

I ran my fingers through her hair, hushing her a bit. I slowly raised her head and looked at her intently. How long has it been since I’ve said those three words? Two years?

No…

It was an eternity before I could say them again.

“I love you.”

She continued crying. I didn’t have anything to dry her tears with like last time.

“Nanoha, Nanoha, Nanoha, Nanoha…” She said, crying harder with each time she said my name.

It was also the first time in an eternity that I kissed her.

“I…”

I put my finger on her lip. “Tell me all about it when we get home, ok?”

She nodded lightly and continued hugging me.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

Shamal slipped the medicine back in her lab gown’s pocket. She decided that she didn’t need it anymore after hearing what was going on in the room. She opened her communications link with Hayate.

“Eh? Why are you back so soon?” Hayate asked, dumbfounded with Shamal’s early arrival.

A content smile was etched on Shamal’s face. “Nanoha received the best treatment compared to what these pills could ever have given her.”

Hayate stared at Shamal to see if she was mentally sane. But after the thought clicked into her mind she gave an understanding nod and returned to her work.

~xXoXx~

Fate’s POV

Why was it that I always wanted this woman?

I didn’t know the exact answer to that question.

But… what I do know with all my heart was that I won’t abandon her again.

Never.

She was asleep again. It was more than enough for me to witness her features up close again. I’ll never let go of this hand again.

Maybe… she was right before… maybe… I should have let her hold my hand because I broke my promise of never letting go.

It was too late for a ‘maybe’ I needed to be with her now, to support her.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

The next day came fast for everyone who was eager to see if Fate really did manage to gather all of her courage to visit Nanoha. One of these people was Signum, although she hardly gave up any emotions.

“Let’s surprise them when they get home.” Hayate announced while piling up what’s remaining of her paperwork.

“See? What’d I tell you? She came just as predicted.” Vita said with pride.

~xXoXx~

Fate’s POV

I want to be with this person eternally.

She was the one who could make my heart skip a beat.

She makes my breath short.

She held me dear.

I could never repay her for the kindness and understanding she has shown me. And more importantly: I could never repay the love she has given me. I…

I love her.

Shamal came in with a thermometer in hand and a doctor’s face.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

“Just here to check her temperature since yesterday.” Shamal looked at Fate who was shaking in anxiety for the results. “She looks better… it shouldn’t be that bad.”

Fate looked up as if Shamal answered one of her mental questions.

Shamal aimed the gun-shaped thermometer at Nanoha’s forehead and let technology do the rest. A smile etched on her face when she got her results.

“It finally went down. She’s healing naturally now.” The doctor announced with a sigh of relief.

“Uhmm… what do you mean it ‘finally’ went down?” Fate asked.

“You see… Nanoha-chan has been keeping a stagnant thirty-nine to forty degrees celsius fever. It was making everyone nervous. This is the first sign of improvement she has since she’s been admitted here.” Shamal explained.

This calmed Fate’s nerves. Knowing that Nanoha would be somehow out of danger was something relieving for her.

“Thirty-eight degrees celsius.” Shamal said, again reading Fate’s curious expression.

~xXoXx~

Fate’s POV

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?

Tell me how it could be better than this.

Nanoha has finally awakened from a peaceful sleep. She really did look better from yesterday…

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“I’ve been through worse.” She replied with a light giggle.

“Mou… that’s not an answer you know.” I retorted.

“Nyahahaha… well how about… ‘I’m fine now that Fate-chan is here’?” She asked.

I could feel blood rise to my cheeks. She always could think of a way to make me embarrassed.

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

How cute… she still gets embarrassed over the tiniest things.

She was always someone who made me feel whole.

“Fate-chan… come closer.” I requested.

“Eh…? Did you want something?”

She leaned closer.

“Closer…”

She leaned in until her ear was near my mouth.

“I love you.”

Her face turned beet red at my declaration. It had been too long since we could smile like this. How exactly could I be with this person and not be moved by what she does?

I wanted to know how exactly it could be better than this.

~xXoXx~

Love restores. We have heard of many tales of love’s power to heal, and we are skeptical of them, for we are human and therefore prone to deny the existence of things we do not understand and cannot explain.
-- Love-in other words, Harper Lee

~xXoXx~

Fate’s POV

Nanoha was finally discharged from the hospital the day after I arrived. To tell the truth, I was a bit relieved. I’m walking side-by-side with this person who my whole life seemed to revolve in. Vivio is here too, clinging tightly to Nanoha.

Time flew by as we idly chatted, catching up on what I missed the past two years. I reprimanded Nanoha for drowning herself in work.

“No wonder your fever was that high!” I scolded.

She makes an innocent expression and says, “Mou… but Fate-chan I was so bored…”

I poked her forehead lightly. “No excuses.”

She puffed out her cheeks and said, “Mou… Fate-chan is so unfair…”

“You can’t just go and overtax yourself like this you know.” I explained.

She looks at me and smiles. “I understand, mother.”

Mother… My face flushed.

“M-M-Mother?!”

“Nyahahaha… that’s what Fate-chan get’s for being a bossy mother.”

And just like that… we somehow arrived at the familiar front gate of our house. It was rather nostalgic after being away for quite a while, but I noticed that our lights were on. Nanoha and I glanced at each other and I carried Vivio who was already complaining about the distance we’ve travelled. With one last look, we smiled at each other and went in.

“Tadaima.” We both announced.

“Okaerinasai, you two.” A familiar, motherly voice said.

“Mom?” I respond out of intuition.

She smiles impishly and says, “Correct.”

I looked around to see that there were more people in the living room. Everyone was here and not only that they seemed to have already prepared dinner too before we arrived here. And Nanoha joined them, like she new this was coming.
I couldn’t help but ask, “What’s the occasion?”

“You’re welcome back party, of course.” Hayate said, tugging me to the side.

At first I didn’t know how to react to that, but after a while I just warmly received and carved this moment into my memory. I put Vivio to bed after realizing that she’s asleep.

~xXoXx~

There is only one kind of love—love. But the different manifestations of love are uncountable…
--Love-in other words, Harper Lee

~xXoXx~

Nanoha’s POV

She was relaxed tonight. I noticed that she more at ease now that she’s home. She changed into her familiar black and purple lingerie and lay down beside me.

“How long has it been since we’ve have a relaxing day like today?” I asked her, slowly hugging her in the process.

“It’s been a long time, too long.” She said, holding my hands as a response to my actions.

“Let’s just lie down like this a bit longer…” I said, nearly dozing off.

“Yes. Let’s.” She replied in a low but joyful voice.

Spoiler: A/N
OH YEAH IT DIDN’T HAVE TO END IN A FRIGGIN LEMON 8DDD HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR. OH YEAH IT’S FINALLY DONE *_* AFTER THE LONG WAIT. I’m so sorry this was a big ginormous writer’s block for me >.> Till we meet again. Yeah.. I should get to finishing the others too ;_; Blame the god of plain old laziness XD *sigh* This really took its time ;_; I hope it goes and fulfills a good fic.

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langrisser's picture
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Posts: 1380

Fate finally cames back home with her Nanoha, now she'll have to make-up for her two years abscence from her family.

Sigurd's picture
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Posts: 903

Is that a request to write a sequel?

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langrisser's picture
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Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1380

If you feel you're up to it, then yes, it's a request. ;3

Sigurd's picture
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Joined: 05/30/2010
Posts: 903

I'm gonna think about it XD

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