so here is my first fanfic pls feel free to say so i can change it to make it look better
Day 1
In the Caucasus Mountains somewhere between the Russian and Georgian border, a violent gun fight is ensuing. “Ozone take out those Hostiles now!” Ghost yelled. “Yes sir covering the right side of the safe house!!” Ozone said in response.
Meanwhile the snipers at the hill have their hands full, “I’m displacing, you won’t have sniper cover for 30 seconds” Archer said in the radio. “10-4 Archer solid copy” Ghost replied through his mic. As the enemy came closer to overrunning the safe house, a bullet whizzed through a window hitting one of the operatives square in the chest. “GACK!! I’m hit!” Scarecrow said as he dropped on the floor, dead.
“Bollocks! Scarecrow is down, I repeat Scarecrow is down!!” screamed Ghost over the radio. Then the DSM on the table beeped which indicated it has finished downloading the files. “Alright Roach get the DSM and lets get the bloody hell outta here. Ozone we’re Oscar Mike MOVE!!!” Ghost said out loud.
“10-4 Ghost covering the left escape route” Ozone said as he was reloading his SCAR-H with a fresh clip and while taking out a M203 grenade shell. As Ghost and Roach got of the safe house Ozone followed as he was being barraged by a hail of bullets. “Crap crap crap running running!” Ozone said as he was trying to dodge the bullets. “Come on Ozone!! We’re near the rendezvous point!!” Ghost yelled at the dodging Operative.
As Ozone was near the rendezvous point a sudden circle formed below his feet. “What in the na-” Ozone’s final words before getting surrounded by light and disappeared without a trace. Ghost looked back and didn’t see Ozone, “This is Ghost, Ozone is down I repeat Ozone is down!!” he said into his mic.
Meanwhile, Ozone was unconscious in a forest. He began to regain his conscious and started to get up. He felt a little weak and kneeled on the grassy ground. “Ugh, where the hell am I?” Ozone looked around and he was not familiar with the surroundings. “What the? This ain’t the Caucasus Mountains….” Ozone said as he scanned the area, he stood up and wobbled a little. Ozone notices that his SCAR-H is nowhere to be seen. “Ah shit” Ozone said in disbelief. Ozone looked at his holster and his Glock 18 was still there, “ah thank god I still have this” Ozone said in relief.
Ozone unholstered his Glock 18 and aims around to see if the area is clear. After clearing the area he proceeds to walk in the forest. “Damn were the hell is my SCAR-H when I need it…” Ozone said. Suddenly while walking he trips on something. “Ooof!” Ozone yelped as he faceplants to the ground. “What the hell was that?” Ozone said as he looked behind him it was his SCAR-H still in perfect condition. “Alright then I have my SCAR with me time to move” Ozone said as he was happy seeing his SCAR-H again.
As Ozone was walking he saw a mountain near a river. “I just need to get on that mountain to get a clear view!!” Ozone said in excitement. Ozone sprinted across the land and stops when he sees the river. “Well doesn’t look to bad” Ozone said as he scanned the water. “Well time to dive” Ozone said as he slung his SCAR-H on his back, “well here goes nothing” Ozone said before he breathe a lot of air to swim across the river. Ozone jumps into the river and quickly gets to the other side.
“Well that was easy enough to do” Ozone sarcastically said when he jumped out of the water. “Well time push on then” Ozone said as he continued to walk towards the mountain. Half an our later……,Ozone reached the foot of the mountain and looks up. “This is one BIG mountain here” Ozone said as he looked up the mountain. “Well time to get started then” Ozone said as he took out his mountain climbing gear an climbs the mountain. A few hours of climbing and nearly falling Ozone reached the top of the mountain. “Phew that was one tough climb ” Ozone said as he was exhausted from climbing the mountain.
Ozone scans the surrounding area to see if there is a city nearby. “Damn cant see anything here” Ozone said as he looked around “damn its getting late I should stay here for the night” Ozone said as he yawned that clearly showed he was tired. Ozone who after a few hours made a make shift hut and rests till morning. Ozone woke up at the sounds of birds and comes out off bed. “Well I had I nice sleep” Ozone said as he looked at the sun. “Well time to packup” Ozone said in a motivating voice as he packed up and wore his equipment. “Ok im ready to go” Ozone said happily. Ozone comes out of the makeshift hut and takes out his binoculars to see anything far away when he notices a city north from were he is. “Ok time to head to that city up north” Ozone said while cocking his SCAR-H. “Lets go!” Ozone yelled as he went down the mountain, to head north to the city.
Ozone:
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I'm lovin' it so far mate, only advise I can really give ye is don't use the character(s) name, 'Ozone' all the time when you're writin'. The reader by that time should understand who is being described, so replace 'Ozone' or any other name with 'him, his, he, etc.' every now and again. Actually, you don't have to say his name in some areas, take the first sentenace of the last paragraph for example, "Ozone scans the surrounding area to see if there is a city nearby." And in its place, put something like 'Scanning the surrounding area to see if there is a city nearby, he cursed himself saying, "Damn, can't see anything here."' In my opinion it sounds more professional, but all in all I think it's a great start and I can't wait to read more of it.
Sincerely, Cpt. Nicholas Reo - 403rd LIR
(P.S. One last thing mate, HOOAH!)
A MGLN crossover with CoD ? I don't think someone did that.
I'm curious to see what'll happen next.
ok second chapter
As Ozone reached the bottom of the mountain he felt a sudden rumbling from the mountain and looked up to see that rocks were falling from their place. “Oh shit!!!” he said as he ran as fast as he can to avoid the falling rocks that were nearly going to run him over. As the boulders halted falling did Ozone come out from hiding. “Shit if i didn’t run I would have been dead in less than a second” he commented on what happened. As he catched his breath from what happened he continued north for the city he saw from the top view of the mountain.
A few hours of trekking, walking and almost getting killed again Ozone neared the city
As he neared the city he heard explosions inside the city and decided to go near to get a look. As he went near he discovered that the city was abandoned, its building were empty with broken windows and destroyed parts. “This isn’t a city near the Russian border” he said as he looked at the buildings that were desolated.
He took out his SCAR-H with an M203 Grenade Launcher attachment and proceeded to enter the city with caution. As he walks into the city he goes into a tall building. As he climbed the staircases of the building the sound of explosion and somewhat strange bullets sound became stronger and stronger. “Ok possible hostiles in this building and im not sure what weapons they are using. (Sigh) damn I wished I never had to play those horror FPS games like F.E.A.R. and The suffering ties the bind” he said in a jokingly manner on how he is nervous of what may happen next.
As he was at the end of the stair case he heard the sound of a girl that he had never heard before. “Alright Subaru our plan is going to work” the girl said as she was looking down the destroyed windows. “Who the hell is Subaru?” he wondered to himself why such person was named in such a way. When he was about to draw his SCAR-H he felt a gun pointed behind him. “Who are you? And what are you doing here!” the girl screamed as she pressed the gun harder on his head. “Damn I got a gun pointed at my head, I have to comply with her” he said in his mind to prevent himself getting killed.
“Answer my question and drop your weapon!!!” the girl screamed even louder at him. “Alright then” he said in a complying voice and dropped his gun along with his Glock 18 on the ground. “Now place your hands behind your head” the girl ordered him to do. As what the girl said he putted his hands behind his head with no complaint. “ Now follow me” the girl said in an ordering voice.
As they were going down the staircase Ozone was thinking of what will happen to him. “What’s going to happen to me if I continue downstairs…….will I be killed or taken as a prisoner” he thought to himself. As they reached the ground floor they immediately went outside of the building. “Can I have my weapons ba-” “NO” the girl replied as he tried to get his weapons back. As they walk out 3 people were headed torwards him and the girl.
As they gathered around him he saw 2 kids and one girl with blue hair and a gauntlet of some type. “Tea-chan who is this person in weird clothing?” the girl said as she puts her finger on her chin wondering. “I don’t know either he might be a spy of the enemy because of this weapon” she said as she showed the weapon. “So who is this Teana-san?” the little girl said as she asked Teana. “Like I sad I don’t know we better call in Nanoha-san” the little boy said to Teana. “ok, now move prisoner” she said while poking him with the gun to signal him to move.
While they were walking he looked at the buildings that were blown-up, destroyed, and decimated. “So the four of you caused this city to be destroyed. I cant even believe that 4 kids could destroy a city along with its inhabitants” he said in a voice that was angry. “We didn’t destroy this place or either kill its people, this is just a training ground” the girl with the blue hair said. “So you people are not Terrorists?” He said in a questioning voice. “Watch your words, who knows you might be the terrorist here” the red haired boy said back to him.
As they were walking a figure in the sky was flying towards them. “OK what the hell is that?” he said in a voice that was calm and somewhat surprised. “That’s our training instructor, they say she’s the best around” the red haired boy said while smiling. As the figure landed on the ground it was not a thing but a red haired girl in her 19’s wearing a school girl like uniform with a pink and golden staff with an orb in the middle. “oh hi guys what seems to be the problem?” the red haired girl asked. “We have captured a supposed terrorist” the girl said as she pushed him to her.
As she closely examined him she noticed the patch on his shoulder, which had the Canadian flag on it. “Your from earth aren’t you?” she asked. “Why yes” he responded to the question. “Well your going to have a lot of fun on this planet” she said with a smile. “Say what?” he responded in a confused voice. “Welcome to the planet of Mid-Childa!”s she said in an exciting voice.
I feel sorry for the poor guy, knowing Nanoha's idea of fun consist of beating the crap out of the poor souls that falls upon her. (^^);
I wonder how Ozone end up in Mid-Childa.
thanks for the advise dude but the way i write it is pretty much unorthodox so yeah ill stick with my writing but thanks for the advice i might use it on the next chapter
Call me Kharn Valnikov, it is who I am.