so here is my first fanfic pls feel free to say so i can change it to make it look better
In the Caucasus Mountains somewhere between the Russian and Georgian border, a violent gun fight is ensuing. “Ozone take out those Hostiles now!” Ghost yelled. “Yes sir covering the right side of the safe house!!” Ozone said in response.
Meanwhile the snipers at the hill have their hands full, “I’m displacing, you won’t have sniper cover for 30 seconds” Archer said in the radio. “10-4 Archer solid copy” Ghost replied through his mic. As the enemy came closer to overrunning the safe house, a bullet whizzed through a window hitting one of the operatives square in the chest. “GACK!! I’m hit!” Scarecrow said as he dropped on the floor, dead.
“Bollocks! Scarecrow is down, I repeat Scarecrow is down!!” screamed Ghost over the radio. Then the DSM on the table beeped which indicated it has finished downloading the files. “Alright Roach get the DSM and lets get the bloody hell outta here. Ozone we’re Oscar Mike MOVE!!!” Ghost said out loud.
“10-4 Ghost covering the left escape route” Ozone said as he was reloading his SCAR-H with a fresh clip and while taking out a M203 grenade shell. As Ghost and Roach got of the safe house Ozone followed as he was being barraged by a hail of bullets. “Crap crap crap running running!” Ozone said as he was trying to dodge the bullets. “Come on Ozone!! We’re near the rendezvous point!!” Ghost yelled at the dodging Operative.
As Ozone was near the rendezvous point a sudden circle formed below his feet. “What in the na-” Ozone’s final words before getting surrounded by light and disappeared without a trace. Ghost looked back and didn’t see Ozone, “This is Ghost, Ozone is down I repeat Ozone is down!!” he said into his mic.
Meanwhile, Ozone was unconscious in a forest. He began to regain his conscious and started to get up. He felt a little weak and kneeled on the grassy ground. “Ugh, where the hell am I?” Ozone looked around and he was not familiar with the surroundings. “What the? This ain’t the Caucasus Mountains….” Ozone said as he scanned the area, he stood up and wobbled a little. Ozone notices that his SCAR-H is nowhere to be seen. “Ah shit” Ozone said in disbelief. Ozone looked at his holster and his Glock 18 was still there, “ah thank god I still have this” Ozone said in relief.
Ozone unholstered his Glock 18 and aims around to see if the area is clear. After clearing the area he proceeds to walk in the forest. “Damn were the hell is my SCAR-H when I need it…” Ozone said. Suddenly while walking he trips on something. “Ooof!” Ozone yelped as he faceplants to the ground. “What the hell was that?” Ozone said as he looked behind him it was his SCAR-H still in perfect condition. “Alright then I have my SCAR with me time to move” Ozone said as he was happy seeing his SCAR-H again.
As Ozone was walking he saw a mountain near a river. “I just need to get on that mountain to get a clear view!!” Ozone said in excitement. Ozone sprinted across the land and stops when he sees the river. “Well doesn’t look to bad” Ozone said as he scanned the water. “Well time to dive” Ozone said as he slung his SCAR-H on his back, “well here goes nothing” Ozone said before he breathe a lot of air to swim across the river. Ozone jumps into the river and quickly gets to the other side.
“Well that was easy enough to do” Ozone sarcastically said when he jumped out of the water. “Well time push on then” Ozone said as he continued to walk towards the mountain. Half an our later……,Ozone reached the foot of the mountain and looks up. “This is one BIG mountain here” Ozone said as he looked up the mountain. “Well time to get started then” Ozone said as he took out his mountain climbing gear an climbs the mountain. A few hours of climbing and nearly falling Ozone reached the top of the mountain. “Phew that was one tough climb ” Ozone said as he was exhausted from climbing the mountain.
Ozone scans the surrounding area to see if there is a city nearby. “Damn cant see anything here” Ozone said as he looked around “damn its getting late I should stay here for the night” Ozone said as he yawned that clearly showed he was tired. Ozone who after a few hours made a make shift hut and rests till morning. Ozone woke up at the sounds of birds and comes out off bed. “Well I had I nice sleep” Ozone said as he looked at the sun. “Well time to packup” Ozone said in a motivating voice as he packed up and wore his equipment. “Ok im ready to go” Ozone said happily. Ozone comes out of the makeshift hut and takes out his binoculars to see anything far away when he notices a city north from were he is. “Ok time to head to that city up north” Ozone said while cocking his SCAR-H. “Lets go!” Ozone yelled as he went down the mountain, to head north to the city.
I'm lovin' it so far mate, only advise I can really give ye is don't use the character(s) name, 'Ozone' all the time when you're writin'. The reader by that time should understand who is being described, so replace 'Ozone' or any other name with 'him, his, he, etc.' every now and again. Actually, you don't have to say his name in some areas, take the first sentenace of the last paragraph for example, "Ozone scans the surrounding area to see if there is a city nearby." And in its place, put something like 'Scanning the surrounding area to see if there is a city nearby, he cursed himself saying, "Damn, can't see anything here."' In my opinion it sounds more professional, but all in all I think it's a great start and I can't wait to read more of it.
Sincerely, Cpt. Nicholas Reo - 403rd LIR
(P.S. One last thing mate, HOOAH!)
A MGLN crossover with CoD ? I don't think someone did that.
I'm curious to see what'll happen next.
I feel sorry for the poor guy, knowing Nanoha's idea of fun consist of beating the crap out of the poor souls that falls upon her. (^^);
I wonder how Ozone end up in Mid-Childa.