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What is Nanoha+Fate in a clinic? [Crack fic Rated M]

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Sigurd's picture
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A helluva day... This fic is well... crack... XD I had this going on in my mind for about an hour now... and it looks like I'm going to have to relieve myself of the stress by writing about it XD

Spoiler:
What is Nanoha+Fate in a clinic?

Teana's POV

It was supposed to be my gym class today... and I injured my foot because stupid Subaru runs too fast. I was supposed to go to the clinic, have my foot treated, and continue the rest of the day.

Moans... of... pleasure...

That's what I was hearing as I stood infront of the door labeled "CLINIC."

"Ahnn... Fate-chan... it feels good~" A very familiar voice said.

Nanoha-sensei? What is she doing in the clinic?! She's fitter than anyone else in this school!

Subaru, who was escorting me to the clinic, gave me a funny look and says, "Ahahaha... Looks like Fate-sensei is um... busy..."

My face paled as I saw a number of students gathering behind us eager to see the show that was going on. I, for one, am not interested because I came here to get foot treated and get on with my life.

But... this noise... it's stopping me from twisting the doorknob and go in.

"Let's just go to the college clinic. Shamal-sensei should be there." I sighed in defeat.

"But-" Subaru protested.

I immediately cut her off. "I don't want to see anything that I'm hearing from the high school clinic. Do you?"

She gave it thought. "... Fine let's go to the clinic."

~xX0Xx~

Caro's POV

"Y-You know Erio-kun... I can walk..." I said sheepishly as I tried to get rid of the embarrassment of him carrying me like a bride.

He just smiled and shook his head.

"The high school clinic isn't too far from here. Your stomach is no good, right? Then this should be fine." He replied.

He continued carrying me like that until we reached the door labeled "CLINIC." But something stopped Erio from opening the door.

"What is it Erio-kun?" I asked, but that didn't need any other explanation when I heard

...moans.

"Nyan... Fate-chan... you do this well~" A voice inside said.

"Nanoha-sensei? Vivio's mom? What is she doing here, I thought that she was fitter than ten horses?" Erio-kun said in a worried tone.

"Um, they um... seem to be er... busy..." I managed.

He gave me a nod and walked away. "Let's just go to the college clinic."

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

"You know Nanoha if you're just going to keep on making erotic noises in my clinic no one will come here." A certain blond sighed.

The brunette pouted. "Mou... but you're massages are so good~"

"Ok. They're good... but can you please refrain from the erotic noises? You scared four people away." The blond continued to sigh, pressing her glasses in place.

After all walking in a clinic to witness a scene is not something you want to do in your childhood...

~xX0Xx~

At the same time in the college clinic...

Four students were outside were terrified to open the door.

"You guys... Shamal-sensei and Signum-sensei look like they're having um... the time of their lives... let's just leave them alone." A defeated Subaru said.

"Can we check the High school clinic? Caro needs her pills... and Teana-san's foot doesn't look to good either..."

Sadly the poor children never got over their injuries until the day ended... both rooms were now filled with erotic noises which just made them give up and try to ask the faculty if they could treat it, giving the excuse that both clinics were "busy."

~xX0Xx~

This happened right after the conversation they had earlier.

"Fate-chan I'm so eager to jump on you right now..." A brunnette said seductively.

The blond's face turned red. "N-Not now Nanoha... I think those children need help."

Nanoha just smiled mischieviously and said, "Nothing is going to stop me from getting in your pants today Fate-chan."

Fate just simply had no choice in the matter Nanoha was already on top of her in one of the clinic's beds and she already... ... so we'll uh... leave the rest to your imagination.

Haha well... I had fun writing this XD... ahaha... Lolz... please tell me what you think...

---------

Prequel here... XD Nanoha-san is to blame for this... I feel bad for the children XD

Spoiler:
How the doctor and the teacher met

Nanoha's POV

Nyahaha... Teana and Subaru are energetic as usual... and it's only the first part of the school year! Hm... I think those two should take the special course... but I don't know... maybe I'll find out tomorrow... but for now... I want to go to the clinic and rest... and we don't have a doctor yet... which is really unfair because the grade school and college department have Shari and Shamal... And none for this department.

I opened the door labeled "CLINIC" only to be surprised that someone dressed in a lab coat, a red t-shirt, black jeans, chucks, and glasses was in it.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

I didn't know what to say... except that I shouldn't slack off in the morning because of the important announcements Hayate and Carim make...

Think... Think... OH!

"Um... would you be the new doctor Hayate-chan announced this morning?" I tried to make sure...

She smiled beautifully and gave me a reply, "I'm Fate. Fate Testarossa Harlaown."

"Nice to meet you..." I smirked, "Fate-chan."

"U-Um... did you need something treated?" She asked, losing the aura of calmness that once surrounded her.

"Oh nothing... I thought I would get myself some painkillers but... it seems there's a better remedy to my sore body." I winked.

She backed away a little trying to comprehend what I just said.

"W-What do you mean?" She asked.

~xXoXx~

Fate's POV

Did she just wink at me seductively?

"W-What do you mean?" I managed.

"I need a massage." She purred.

A-A massage!! Wait... what kind and where? ...

Stop the lewd thoughts Fate... it's going to drive you nuts...

"Um, does your back hurt? I-If you would kindly lie d-down on the bed over there... I'll g-give you a massage..." I managed.

"Oh... but it's more than just my back that hurts... should I show you how to massage me?" She continued seductively.

Oh wow... she's so beautiful... stop! The lewd thoughts end here!

"U-Uh... ok..." I agreed sheepishly.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

The high school clinic was labelled with a "Doctor is out" sign for the rest of the day but... you can hear... stuff... in the said clinic.

Meanwhile...

"Tea! Where did Nanoha-sensei go? She didn't even dismiss us!" Subaru asked.

"I have no clue Subaru. No clue." The orange-head sighed.

The rest of the class just decided to change and get ready for their subject as soon as they saw that it was almost time.

~xXoXx~

Erio's POV

I hope she can make it... the gradeschool clinic is closed for unknown reasons... and I can hear wierd noises coming from it.

"Caro... do you think you can make it?" I asked as I continued to carry her like a princess.

She gave a weak nod.

After that I tried to get her to the high school clinic as fast as I could... only to hear wierd noises again from the said room.

"Stop it Nanoha-san! I-I... I'm coming!" A female voice said.

"Oh? Already this wet? You sure are interesting doctor!" A seductive voice mused.

I felt my face go red and I could see Caro was also turning red.

"Let's go to the college clinic!" I cheered... trying to forget the conversation we accidentally overheard.

Oh man... what did I just hear... something about being "wet" what did that exactly mean? I think I'm too young to overhear that...

I sighed.

"Are you ok Elio-kun?" Caro asked.

"I'm fine. Let's just get you to the college clinic." I managed.

When we arrived I opened the door seeing that Caro was ready to vomit... I led her straight to the toilet. Only after she vomitted did I realize we were intruding... on a very private scene between the college doctor... and a teacher. I nudged for Caro to move it.

"Let's go... I think I have Nausea pills in my bag you can continue that in the female toilet in our building."

She gave an understanding nod and we scrambled for the door.

~xXoXx~

Shamal's POV

"Oh dear... I think we just scarred children Signum." I said.

"I'll lock the door this time... can we continue?" She looked at me pleadingly.

I smirked. "Of course... Let me make you happy."

She whispered to my ear, "Anything you say, mistress."

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

Well we can be clear that the clinics all appeared to be very busy... leaving scarred for life children and doctors mating like rabbits making love to each other to continue for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile...

"Tea! Let's do it at home!" Subaru announced.

The orange-head blushed and punched the purple haired girl. "W-What are you saying you idiot?!"

"Ow! Ok... how about this: I'll go gently on you tonight." She purred seductively.

The orange-head resembled a tomato now... "A-All right."

Around the bushes... security camera lenses started to break because of: 1) the scenes they were recording or 2) it was just too hot for them to handle.

In the principal's office...

"Ah mou... just when I though I could record these and sell them on E-bay..." Hayate pouted.

"Hayate? Where's the--mmmph... not here..." A blond-haired girl said, getting cut off by Hayate.

"Don't worry. I made sure everyone will be in work..." She mused.

Carim Gracia, the woman who had her heart stolen by a pervert. "A-All right... please be gentle..."

"Rawr. You just scream 'hug me' Carim-chan..." The brunnette growled.

~xXoXx~

Fate's POV

That 'incident' a few days ago made me wonder what my job really was... was it to make love with a certain gym teacher? or was it to give student's medications?

"Fate-chan! Massage me?" An energetic and familiar voice announced.

I sighed. "All right..."

There's just no winning against this woman... not to mention that she's so beautiful... those blue eyes just sparkle with... ok... I'll stop with the lewd thoughts now...

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

We all can't help but feel bad for the children who were 'missing' their teachers during certain days... and the children who lost their innocence just because they had eyes and ears.

Lots of fun while writing this XD it was hard to think straight so feel free to point out any typos or grammar errors... in both of course XD

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Nanonymous
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Fate with glasses...(nosebleed)

yeah..."busy" clinic XD~

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Don't you mean ClinicS? XD

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Nya~ That was so cute~ And I agree, nosebleed indeed ^ ^;

BTW I loved how you did everyones POV's it made things....MORE interesting =D

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Thank you *peace sign*

We all know Dr.Fate needs a dose of Nanoha everyday *wink wink*

Lol... Hm... maybe I should make more? XD

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I say "hellz yeah" to the more! XD

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I'll make more all right *smirks*

:> Haha... these one-shot crack fics are going to make my day *smugs*

Hm... I'll make another Dr.Fate one... Since most of you guys like her in megane form... I must admit I like it too 8D

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Yay~

Made my day~

Who wouldn't want Fate-chan as a smexy doctor? Walking in, getting a nosebleed, having MORE treatment to take care of. Yes, there's nothing wrong with Dr. Smexy ;D I mean I would mind having HER as a doctor.

More crack fic's are always the best, they just make my day ^ ^

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Since it's got me all pepped up for funny... I'll post how they met *smirks*

*laughs evilly* Nanoha will have some 'fun' with our doctor... *continues to laugh evilly until evil choked her*

*clears throat* I'll get to writing... XD I already have it visualized....

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:O I felt a strong desire to find out what this "fun" really is...Though I'm pretty positive, that this "fun" will really make my day =D

Hope you update soon~

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Teehee... You will just have to find out *smugs*

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langrisser's picture
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Funny fics, they made me smile today !

I'm for more story !

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Thank you. :) If I get more from the depths of my mind yes I'll make more :D

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A.
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Thanks for writing this short, Sigurd, that was a fun fic ^^

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Thank you! *bows* I hope to write more ^-^ ... but these are 'spur of the moment' things... so I'm not quite consistent with updating these XD

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Nanonymous
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Rabbits!!!!

*feed carrots*

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I thoroughly enjoyed these last couple crack fics. They really made me day, maybe, but keep up the great work with these Sigurd, their priceless tah all us NanoFate supporters and such and such...

*heres random voice* Do a barrel roll! *does barrel role*

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I'm glad you enjoyed them! :) I'll probably post more if I get other random ideas to pop in my head xD

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Well if you want technical criticism, then:
""Um, they look busy..." I managed."
Should probably be "seem busy" or "sound busy", unless I misunderstood and they actually opened the door.

As for the stories themselves, very cute. Nice work.

Check out my stories! Tell me what you think!
Photoshoot
Just Like Fate
Endymion

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Thanks for pointing that out! Hm... thats true... I'll go edit that now XD

Thank you again :3

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What a funny shots xD, makes my day ^^ (read something like this at work is great xD, fortunately, the boss isn´t here today xD).

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Thank you ^-^ I'm glad they did :)

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Well then... I'm updating this because it's almost 3 in the morning and I just can't stop laughing about pervy thoughts without having to curl up and hold my stomach... >.> And voila here comes our third theme in the Dr.Fate series!

Spoiler:
OUTBREAK?!

Teana's POV

This is one of those days where I just had to go to school because of an important event... I call it P.E. and it happens just once a week... and the teacher always keeps things the way I want it: Hard.

At least that's what I thought until almost half of our class disapeared to the clinic because of an illness... so much for having P.E. ...

"Tea? You don't look so good." Subaru stated.

"It's probably because you're near me." I retorted.

She put her hand on my forehead and began examining her own.

"You have a fever... it better not be the flu that's been going around... they say it makes you act wierd." She explained.

Well... I do feel a little heavy and there's that feeling of wanting to breathe more...

"Maybe we should go to the clinic?" She suggested.

I couldn't quite protest because she carried me piggyback right after she said it. Not that I didn't mind...

~xXoXx~

Nanoha's POV

Mou... I can't visit Fate-chan because of this flu going around and I'll just bother her with her work...

"I want my massages..." I mumbled.

"What's this about massages?" Yuuno asked.

"Nothing you should care about, judging from the looks on her face, ferret boy." Chrono replied for me.

"Stop it you two... you look like you're both fighting over me when I'm really just not interested in both of you." I sighed.

"H-Hey! I'm with Amy!" Chrono replied.

"A-And... I'm single for the rest of my life!" Yuuno excused.

"Takamachi-san? Students from the gradeschool area are looking for you!" Carim announced.

Who would be visiting me? Vivio could be one but who are the other two?

I slowly raised myself from my chair and smacked two heads together. "You two better get to your classes."

"OW!" They chorused.

"Now if you will excuse me... I have children to attend to." I formally said.

I made my way to the student lounge and was a little taken aback by the erm... scene.

"You'll be ok Caro!" A red-haired young man encouraged.

How cute! I could just hug these two!

"Nanoha-mama! Caro-san is sick and Erio isn't looking too good himself!" Vivio announced.

I examined them more carefully... and they really looked like they were about to collapse! But why did Vivio bring them-- OH WAIT... nevermind that... it's a perfect excuse to visit Fate-chan... oh thank the heavens for Vivio...

"I'm carrying them both to the high school clinic, Vivio can you return to your classroom alone?" I asked.

"Un! Fate-mama will take care of them right?" She asked cutely.

I wasn't surprised that she called Fate 'mama' anymore ever since she volunteered to give us rides home in her car she also started taking care of her in a way... which brings me back on topic: I miss her so much!

I closed my eyes and replied cheerfully. "Of course. Fate-mama will make sure these two will get better in no time!"

I carried the boy on piggy back while I carried the girl bridal style. I'm visiting Fate-chan for the first time in a week! Yay!

"Thank you for um... carrying us." The red-haired boy said.

"It's no problem... um...?" I trailed.

"Erio Mondial and she is Caro Ru Rushie." He replied weakly.

"All right Erio-kun and Caro-chan... we have to get you two to the clinic... and I want you two to sleep if possible while on the way there.(they just can't see me hugging Fate again after so long...)" I explained.

Well... it looks like I didn't have to say that... they're both out cold... I wonder what kind of flu this is... they say it makes you act wierd...

"Caro-san... will you...?" Erio-kun mumbled in his sleep.

Um... ok it definitely makes you act wierd...

~xXoXx~

Fate's POV

How did I get dragged into this? I'm currently witnessing a kiss exchanged between two girls... the other one looks sick and the other one looks like she can't stop...

I cleared my throat. "Um... what did you two exactly come for?"

They both broke up their kiss and turned red to realize that they weren't quite alone. "I see... you two on the beds. Now." I ordered.

And as I expected they... er... shared beds... I wonder if they're both really aware that I'm here...

I took out pills for fever for the two of them... but somehow the erotic noises just stopped me...

"Subaru... stay still..." One ordered.

"Y-Yes... ahn..." Another moaned.

I cleared my throat again to let them know I'm here. "I'll be leaving your medicine here."

Now all I need is Nanoha to ask for a massage...

"Fate-chan~!" A very familiar voice announced.

I asked too soon...

"What is it?"

"These two kids need help..." She said in a huffing manner.

Did she carry the two of them all the way from the faculty room? No wonder she's a bit out of breath...

"All right put them there." I ordered, motioning for the vacant beds.

She nodded and placed them both on separate beds... but somehow they managed to find a way to just share...

"Fate-chan... I didn't know that the flu could do that..." She purred seductively.

I was losing my cool again... someone help me... "Uh... you see... I think the flu came from a flower that the principal just brought in..."

"Hm... I wonder if I'm catching it too... I feel like jumping on you right now..." She continued to whisper.

"Um..." Was all I could muster.

~xXoXx~

Normal POV

The high school clinic stopped seeing patients for the entire day... due to certain conditions. Luckily no one else got sick aside from these four... or five... or six... to be honest this narrator can't count anymore...

In the principal's office...

"Fufufu... operation High School clinic to close down due to certain conditions is a success!" A brown haired girl announced happily.

"Hayate-chan... mmph... you're getting it too?" Carim asked.

"Oh no... I'm not just getting the flu Carim-chan... fufufu... I created it!" She cackled evilly.

"Eh...? No wonder the symptoms were wierd! Mmph..." Carim tried protesting but Hayate just efficiently 'silenced' her until further notice...

In the high school clinic...

"Ne, Fate-chan do you think they'll remember?" An eager Nanoha asked.

"I-I don't think so..." Fate managed.

"Then it's fine to continue..." She grinned mischeviously.

Too bad... no... actually too good for our teacher and doctor... all the patients were already asleep because of the medicines they took... and Nanoha just can't get enough of Fate...

Meanwhile...

A certain Hayate Yagami is currently grinning like an idiot in front of her computer screen which flashed: "Project Yuri."

"I should unleash this 'sickness' again next year. I might get even betterresults!" She said to herself.

Sorry if this bored you o.e I was just writing without a care in the world... well I hope it's still a somewhat good read... ^^;;

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LMAO !! i really can not stop laughing at this xD

~what happen if nanoha and fate are real~

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Thank you :)

I hope my 3rd story didn't bore you though x-x I think I should re-write that >.>

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A.
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Fun chapter, thanks for the update Sigurd ^^

I liked that you included Vivio and Hayate as the "evil" mastermind behind this.

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Hayate is always and forever will be the wild card in my stories :D

And I'm glad my update didn't bore you ^^;;

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Boring ? Hell no !!! I love these funny little stories, Hayate as the Evil Mastermind is nice, she's a real "mad scientist".

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Thank you! ^^" although I don't quite what's funny... (this is actually the author not getting her own jokes XD)

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My only question is, how is Caro and Erio toghethar considered Yuri? othar than that I feckin' loved it! great job on this story Sig, can't wait for the next one.

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I shall let Hayate-chan answer for you :D

*Calls Hayate*

Hayate: This project is only in the developmental stages and it can only stimulate the emotion that we call 'affection' at the moment... I'm still working on how it will get to make me my own lesbian army!

*Hayate runs to her lab*

O-Oi... don't leave me... ;_;

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