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What is Nanoha+Fate in a clinic? [Crack fic Rated M]

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Nanoha-san's picture
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Yay. Yay. YAY!!! Another update that made my day! ^^ I wonder....do we get more of Dr. Smexy? Because I for one need more lol hope you make more~!

Sigurd's picture
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Hm... Since everyone loves Dr.Fate and I do too... I'll be updating this during my free time and whenever I get inspiration to write cracks...

I'm happy to know you guys like my cracks! ^-^ It makes my day too :)

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Sigurd's picture
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Well... this is for Nanoha-san, Moni-chan, and Reo... >.> You guys talked me into this lawls... Now then I'm going to try to narrate this... it's the first time I'm going to do this... so bear with me :P

Spoiler:
Of transferees and flying objects

Writer's POV

You know... I just decided to put a transfer student in this series for fun. Hm... what should I call her? Mooney? Honey? OH! I know! Moni-chan!

"My name is Moni! I'll be in your care starting today!" She happily announced in front of class.

"Let's see you can sit with... Ah there beside Lanster-san." The teacher announced, pointing the the empty chair beside Teana.

For some reason it was decided that P.E. is going to be the first subject today. How? Don't ask. And our favorite gym teacher is specially hyped about our transfer student... let's just pray she lives through this class.

So... I'm skipping all the unnecessary conversations and skip right to gym class... oh and just in case you didn't know who our "favorite gym teacher" is well... her name is Nanoha Takamachi... the infamous gang leader White Devil.

"All right we're having volleyball today!" Nanoha announced happily.

"Oh! that sounds like fun!" Moni replied happily.

Nanoha smirked to herself and eventually mapped out teams... and by some power of god while our favorite gym teacher was demonstrating the volleyball moves she "accidentally" hit our transfer student... most of the time.

"Why me?" Moni asked... don't ask me who she was asking.

By the end of Nanoha's demo Moni was already writhing in pain... even before the games have begun, which I'm currently delaying at the moment...

...

...

I know what you're thinking: "Just get on with it already!" Right? If you could see my face I'd probably be smirking right now.

...Moving on... The match begun... and guess who is serving first? If you guessed Teana, you are wrong. If you guessed Moni, you are wrong again. But for those of you who guessed Subaru, you are correct. Did I forget to mention that Moni is on the opposite team as Subaru's and Teana's? Yeah...

"All right let's begin the first game for today!" Nanoha announced, blowing her whistle to signal the start of the game.

Subaru begun on cue to Nanoha's whistle and the ball went to the other side of the court... it was returned by an extra I'm too lazy to name. Teana being in the center-forward position at the moment returned the ball with ease and now the ball is going to the other side... in Moni's direction...

SLAM! And the ball just hit Moni's face... but somehow that hit just returned the ball flying back to the other court. The other team, in a word, was speechless by this very... um... unique way of returning the volleyballs... Moni must be in a world of pain right now... especially when what Teana did was spike the ball towards her. Oh and by the way Moni scored for her team on that return.

"Are you ok?" Teana asked, hoping that she didn't hurt Moni too much.

"I-I'm fine~!" Moni replied in a singing manner.

If you ask me, she isn't.

"O-Ok. Are you sure you don't need to go to the clinic?" Teana responded, not convinced that Moni is ok.

"I'm fine~ really~!" Moni replied in a singing manner again.

"Rawr~ Moni... you're one tough cookie!" Nanoha cheered, not fazed about what just happened.

"T-Thank you... although I can't help but think balls have the attraction of hitting me..." She replied in a gloomy manner.

And the game continued after that... the ball hit Moni five more times before she got "knocked" out. Something tells me that something ominous is on it's way...

"O-Oi... Moni-san are you ok?" A worried Subaru asks.

"Let's take her to the clinic~!" Nanoha chirped.

Somehow I think Nanoha did this on purpose... maybe she wants to visit our doctor again?

Moni gets up and smirks, an dark aura surrounding her. "Heh. I'm fine."

Oh wow... mhm... I believe our unsuspecting main characters have just unlocked the psycho Moni mode. Don't blame me though... that's just what the dark aura is telling me.

"Aww... she's fine..." Nanoha pouted.

"S-Sensei... I don't think you should be happy about Moni getting injured." Teana responded nervously.

"Let's go and own that other team!" Moni announced in an evil manner.

Moni's team-mates were spooked at the tone Moni was speaking in at the moment. Luckily or unluckily for the other team it was finally Moni's turn to serve.

~xXoXx~

Meanwhile in the clinic of Dr.Fate...

"I have the feeling that I should prepare ice and bandages today. And that Nanoha is going to go in that door with yet another patient... and a request for a massage." Fate said, acknowledging her gut feeling and preparing the medical supplies she will probably needing.

You got that right Fate. Nanoha will come and make you go at it like rabbits request for a massage.

~xXoXx~

Now then moving on to our little incident in the gym...

"Heh! That all you guys have?" A dark Moni said.

Before I can even say the phrase "knock her out already!" Nanoha finally decides to step in and knock Moni out...

That took her a while... Moni, this time, was really knocked out now. Nanoha decides that she should go rest in the clinic and decides to bring Moni herself because she misses Fate of various reasons...

Nanoha just instructed the gym class to go and play more while she brings Moni to the clinic, carrying her bridal-style.

~xXoXx~

It makes you wonder what Hayate has been up to doesn't it? Don't lie to me.

Aside from going through her "collection" today... believe it or not she is doing paper work... with a little distraction that I'm going to put today.

"Hayate-chan we have--" Carim started but was cut off intently by Hayate.

"You know it's bad for you to enter this room when I'm deprived..." Hayate purred.

How exactly did Hayate get to Carim so fast? Beats me. Maybe the Hayate that was on the desk was actually a clone and just hid from plain sight... that's just my conpiracy theory though.

Moving on...

"Carim-chan~ Let's play~" Hayate continued.

Carim turned red and eventually submitted to her mistress... and I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

~xXoXx~

In Fate's clinic...

"Oh wow... that gut feeling I had was correct." Fate thought out loud, seeing Nanoha carry a knocked out Moni-chan who... was apparently mumbling some interesting things...

"Ice cream is delicous..." She snored.

"Nyahaha... I guess those balls have an attraction to hit her..." Nanoha chuckled nervously... knowing that she was one of the people who hit Moni...

"Nanoha... you didn't purposely hit one of your students just so you could see me... right?" Fate sighed, fixing her glasses using her index finger.

"Nyahahahaha...ha...ha... just a little..." She admitted.

Fate gave out a sigh. "Put her over there..." She ordered, pointing to a vacant bed.

Nanoha did as she was told and laid Moni on the bed... who was still mumbling interesting things...

Fate tended to Moni... Nanoha just doesn't want to leave because she's wants some Fate. Oh by the way... as you read this paragraph no time passes at all in the fic... no time... passed at all... yeah... I'm just that good.

"Fate-chan~" Nanoha sang.

"Er... yes Nanoha?" Fate replied nervously.

"Massage me~" She continued.

"Yes..." Fate sighed in defeat.

Meh... I want to describe the scene that comes after and all... but I don't want to owe anyone any shirts... so I'm stopping here...

You can blame my boredom... and writer's block on the script xD

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Monichanz's picture
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*still laughing at it* i can believe you actually did this xD I still can't stop laughing of how many time i got hit and when i went to psyco mode x'D i feel bad about my team mates lol *gets hit by a ball* n-not again....

~what happen if nanoha and fate are real~

Sigurd's picture
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Lol... I feel bad for YOU xD you always get hit by something... lol

And yes I DID it >:]

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Monichanz's picture
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well i happy i am not like my friend which gets bitten by every animals even by a fish xD lol

~what happen if nanoha and fate are real~

Sigurd's picture
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Lulz... must be a royal blood type xD

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Monichanz's picture
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Lol maybe xD

~what happen if nanoha and fate are real~

langrisser's picture
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Ow, poor Moni, but when the White Devil wants her dose of Fate, she'd do anything to have it. XD

Sigurd's picture
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I'm chatting with Moni-chan right now lol

XD She likes getting hit a lot lol

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Monichanz's picture
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NO I don't like getting hit!! they seem to like to hit me >.> *looks around* phew ~ the coust is cle-- *gets hit on the head* *falls to the floor* I-i'm o-ok~ *faints*

~what happen if nanoha and fate are real~

Sigurd's picture
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X3 Admit it you LOVE getting hit lol

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Monichanz's picture
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No I don't !!! they just seems to find a way to hit me and also in real life well not that much .... *happy that haven been hit yet* by the way when my friends read the fic they started hitting me with paper balls >.>;;

~what happen if nanoha and fate are real~

Sigurd's picture
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Lawlz... xD

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Sig luv, I thought that this insalment was absolutely, the most silliest, kick ass tale I have read. It makes me want tah imagine a "teacher tale" of me, whare I teach history...things get crazy when I get to the war, anyways! Still thought it was an awsome fic and can't wait for yer next instalment. 'Till than!
Sincerely, Nicholas "Cap'n" Reo

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Currahee
We stand alone, together

Sigurd's picture
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Ooooh~ That might be a good idea :3

Yeah.. when I get inspiration again :3

Glad you liked it :3

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Nanoha-san's picture
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:OOOOOOOOO You actually did it~~~ Even the Volleyball parts too! Hehe funny part is, I actually do hit people in the face when I play volleyball....>.> Accident? Who knows~ xD

Btw, when you play volleyball and it hits you in the face, it wouldn't count as a point, it would just be a "OWW, are you okay?" moment, actually done it myself a few times xD

Other then that, I'm here to say that I NEED more~ YOU HERE ME, MORE~!! *Muhahahaha!* *kof* *kof* Yes...MORE >:3

Sigurd's picture
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Lol I waited for you for 16 hours @_@

xD Tell my wifey I should get jealous more often lol

*is glad you want more*

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Nanoha-san's picture
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Yeah...sorry...left laptop at work...so bored for like 6 hours T>T

Jealous?? LOL Psssht! I'm sure you loved it ;)

*will SLB anyone for more~*

Sigurd's picture
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I was GREEN with JEALOUSY :| lol >.>;;

*is one of the people who will get SLB'd if she discontinues writing any series of hers lol*

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Nura's picture
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Sigurd, I really like the way you write, it´s really funny and (hehe, it´s difficult to me to put it in English, but I try xD) hook you, and of course it´s hilarious, I laugh a lot when I read this fic :D (a really good thing when you have a hard day). And that last chapter, with the author words was amusing ^^).

I´m waiting for more ^^

Sigurd's picture
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*laughs nervously* I'm glad that you like the way I write ^^;; I wouldn't call it anything special... I'm glad you like the way I would actually comment on this lol.

Thank you! :D

PS:

I like the way you write too :3 Especially your translated fic here... It's really epic... I like the way you mixed some Assasin's Creed elements in there... Now if you will excuse me... I shall go read the rest of your fic that's in spanish <3

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Nura's picture
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Thank you too ^^

Oh, your writing style, especially in the last chapter, remember me to Terry Prachett (I dunno if you know this author? xD).

Sigurd's picture
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I don't know this author... but I do know he writes comedy xD

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Well... the chatroom is empty at the moment so I thought I'd put up something here... Don't blame me if you get bored though...

Spoiler:
Magic

Writer's POV

For those of you who had green thoughts on the title... you were wrong...

Today is a bad day for our favorite gym teacher. Because I say so. It's raining and she just didn't have an umbrella. Again this is because I said so. Nanoha stared into space as she herself was stranded under the small roof that the locker area provided in the gradeschool area while holding Vivio's hand.

"Mou... why did it have to rain today? The weather forecast is a big joke." Actually Nanoha... that's because I'm currently god and I control all weather even the weatherman can't tell you the weather.

"Nanoha-mama... it's so cold..." Vivio shivered.

Without giving it a second thought Nanoha decided to give her jersey leaving her in a white shirt, blue jogging pants, and white rubber shoes.

"Ne... mama... when is the rain going to stop?" The child asked innocently.

Honestly even I have no idea... but I can always make characters say interesting things.

"I guess at this rate it'll take a while... Let's cross to the high school faculty room it's not far once we cross the crossing on the fifth floor... want me to carry you?" Nanoha explained.

"Un..." Vivio replied in a weak tone.

Immediately from a gut feeling I decided Nanoha to have... Nanoha put her forehead against her daughter's.

"You have a cold... This isn't good..." Nanoha noted.

Immediately after that Nanoha scooped Vivio up bridal style and decided to bring her to the faculty since they have a sofa and the clinic just happened to close because our favorite doctor had to leave early for some reason I'm not gonna say yet.

Hearing her daughter's heavy breathing Nanoha slowly felt worry find it's way to her head... slowly but surely evolving into panic. After all who doesn't like good plot twist eh? Well... moving on... Nanoha climbed the set of stairs in a faster and smoother was than an elevator. Yes, an elevator. Don't ask me how.

In a matter of five minutes Nanoha made it into the faculty room and immediately ordered her colleagues to set up the sofa and get her medicine from the clinic. Everyone immediately obeyed after seeing what was happening to the child she was carrying. Of course right about now...

~xXoXx~

Fate sneezes. Yes, for some odd and aloof reason I made her sneeze.

"Someone must be thinking about me..." She muttered to herself.

Of course Fate SOMEONE is thinking about you. Especially now... no most definitely now because Vivio is getting a cold... which I made her have... muahahahahahahaha... choke... I have to stop laughing like that... anyway... back on topic...

Fate's cellphone rings, with the caller being our favorite gym teacher. Of course who would want it to be someone like I don't know... Chrono? Yuuno? Some random lover? Nah... you'd all start throwing tomatoes or whatever vegetable you prefer at me if that happened.

Sighing Fate answered. "Is something the matter?"

"Fate-chan..." The person on the other line said gloomily.

Nanoha and gloomy are almost never put in a sentence together whenever Fate talks to our favorite gym teacher so... she obviously got worried.

"Did something--"

Before she could say anything else. "Vivio! Are you ok?"

This definitely made Fate step on her vehicle and make her change her current route. She immediately cancelled her meeting with some famous doctor and stepped on the gas. Yeah, I just decided she would be in a car now... don't blame me... I just come up with these things.

~xXoXx~

Vivio started to look worse; her face became pale, sweatbeads formed on her skin, and she was breathing heavily. Of course I knew how a person got sick... I got sick too you know.

"Vivio... how are you feeling?" Nanoha asked, placing a wet towel on her daughter's forehead.

"Huff... huff... really... hot... and cold... Nanoha-mama..." She managed.

This reminds me of a song... coz you're hot then your cold, you're yes then you're no... ok I'll stop now...

In a matter of fifteen minutes our beloved doctor arrives. Because I say so.

"Nanoha what happened?" Fate huffed, obviously she was running in coming here.

"Nyahahaha... sorry to worry you... Vivio got a little sick..." She said, scratching her cheek.

Fate turned to see the Vivio's condition. Of course, what were you expecting? ...Moving on... Fate kneeled beside the sofa and places her right hand on Vivio's forehead while the left was holding Vivio's wrist to count how many beats per minute her heart was making.

One minute and fifteen seconds later...

"Let's take her to the clinic." Fate announced.

Nanoha nodded silently and slowly she scooped Vivio up to her arms carrying her bridal style. Although I kind of wish that it was Fate she's carrying...

Five minutes of silence and walking later...

The arrive at the door labeled "CLINIC," Fate got her keys from her pocket and opened the aforementioned door. Of course when they went in Nanoha immediately put Vivio on one of the beds. Fate prepared some medicine and voila Nanoha is relieved and pervy again.

"Fate-chan~" She sang.

"You know... I don't know if I should have come here." Fate sighed.

Well... from here on... our favorite gym teacher snuggled on our doctor and you know the rest.

In case you were wondering... yeah I'm finished now.

Meh.. I was really bored lol...

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langrisser's picture
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I'm starting to wonder if the clinic as an aphrodisiac effect on Nanoha. XD

Monichanz's picture
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Me too ~ XD

~what happen if nanoha and fate are real~

Mihabel's picture
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I think hayate is behind this ^_^;

"Hurry, Mr. Bubbles! I can see angels dancing in the sky."

Monichanz's picture
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Lol this story is funny when you put it in your POV XD makes everything go as something that can't happen in real life XD

P.S. using the school computer again >:3 Muahahahaha *koff* *koff* >.>

~what happen if nanoha and fate are real~

Sigurd's picture
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BAD Moni lol

Of course lol I tend to make it rainy when the forecast says it sunny ;)

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