Skip to main content

You Make Me Melt - First Kiss Edition ♥ Chapter 1 up ♥

17 replies [Last post]
Yuki's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/20/2009
Posts: 384

You Make Me Melt

First Kiss Edition

xYuki: The difference between the original edition and the First Kiss Edition is… it’s in a COMPLETELY different universe, refined lyric translation, and… better grammar. LOL Feel free to compare it to the crappy original. x.x

Anyways this version is just a bit of an advanced screening. :P I'll post the rest of the story up on ff.net (that version will be the edited one though), of course I'll always post the chapter up here first to get some advanced feedback.

Also yay for posting this at 4:30am. 8D

Enjoy~

Chapter 1

Spoiler:

It’s been about a week since my girlfriend and I started going out and became an ‘item’. Things between us are going really well, and the more time I spend getting to know her, the more I find myself feeling things I’ve never felt for anyone else. She made my heart soar and my mind wander, everything about her was just so amazing! I couldn’t get enough of her, but sadly we went to different schools and lived in completely different parts of Uminari, however, that still didn’t stop us from seeing each other.

We first met on the train a month ago. I noticed that she had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, but whenever I managed to get a glance at them, they were always sad. I wondered to myself many times why such a beautiful girl had such sad, lonely eyes. One day I summed up the courage to sit beside her and finally ask her the question that plagued my mind for many nights: why are you so sad? She looked up at me curiously and blushed, but answered my question anyway, “Because I could never bring myself to say hi to you.”

When I heard her voice, I thought an angel had just sung a heavenly chorus. It was amazing, like a clear chime from a crystal bell. Her voice was so, was so… I didn’t know how to describe it in any other way other than: mesmerizing. I asked her for her name soon after and felt an arrow pierce my heart the moment she said ‘Fate T. Harlaown’.

The way she blushed and shied away from me when I introduced myself made me even more curious. Why was such a beautiful girl so bashful around me? Shouldn’t it be the other way? I don’t know, but wow… she was pretty. Silky Mikado yellow hair that just seemed to go on for forever and every strand seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. I couldn’t help myself from staring at her long, slender legs and mouth water. Oh dear lord this girl was perfect from head to toe!

After that day we continued to sit together on the train, it was magical. My days seemed brighter than a solar flare, but I noticed that the more I saw her time seemed to speed up when I was with her, but when we were apart I felt like time was moving at a snail’s pace. I was becoming addicted to her; little did I know she felt the same way about me.

My feelings for her were suffocating, but I couldn’t get enough. It literally hurt to be apart from her, so you could only guess who ecstatic I was when she leaned in close to me and whispered into my ear asking me to be her girlfriend. She wanted me, the plain Jane Takamachi Nanoha, to be her girlfriend.

Kyaa!


~♥~

メルト

Nanoha's Point of View

The Sweet Smell of First Love
Part 1 of 6

~♥~

I was having the fluffiest of dreams this morning. In this dream I remember walking up to the happy chirping of birds outside my window, as well as the hustle of bustle of the morning activities downstairs. And from the large bed I was sprawled in, I could distinctly smell the alluring scent of freshly brewed morning hazelnut coffee, sizzling eggs and bacon, the sound of toast popping out of the toaster, and the cheerful laughter of an older woman and a child. It was a homely picture that appeared in my mind, the perfect way to start the day. Within the dream I was around twenty-six years old, eleven years into the future—our future.

I got out of bed and went downstairs, the smell of breakfast hastening my steps. I saw my lover, my wife, standing in front of the stove with a spatula wearing a cute bunny apron. She noticed I was leaning on the door frame nearby and smiled at me. Beside my wife was our daughter, a little blonde haired girl with hetero-chromatic eyes. She held a plate with two slices of buttered toast in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other. The little girl turned around and flashed a toothy grin at me and offered the items in her hand. I walked up to her and accepted them, but not before kissing my stunning companion on the cheek.

I was really happy watching my little dream world family, because I knew that if I played my cards right and never let my heart wander, this wonderful family would definitely be mine in the real world. The contagious laughter of a happy family lifted my spirits; I wanted this life with Fate-chan more than anything.
My wife sat beside me with her breakfast and held the hand I had on the table. She looked at me with an immeasurable amount of love in her eyes. She whispered something to me, but I couldn’t really catch it all. I blushed when she scooted her chair closer to mine and ki—

La-La-La-La-La

I shot out of bed when that upbeat tone began to play over and over. My eyes were wide and so was my mouth, my cell phone had woken me up from my sweet dream abruptly, and just when it had gotten to the good part. My heart was beating so fast I didn't know how to control it, and before you suggest deep breathing, don't. I began hyperventilating when I tried to breathe slowly, mou...

Reaching for my phone I glared at it and cursed its existence for the millionth time. I flipped it open ready to place a plague on whoever it was that called or sent a message, but the moment I read ‘Fate-chan’ on the screen, my heart melted. Her message was so cute I couldn’t help but read it over and over again, each time my heart swelling in pride and joy.

“Morning, beautiful, I wanted to make sure if we were still up for today? Miss you.”

I replied to her message and rushed into the living room, slipping on the polished hardwood floors on my way to the TV. My bum landed and my head followed, but I still managed to stop right in front of my desired destination. After I recovered from the fall, I pressed the power button and the weather channel flickered onto the large plasma screen. My eyes darted towards the date and the time as my ears listened tentatively to the voice of the hideously ugly weatherman with the sexy baritone voice. I tried my best to ignore the man's face, but his voice just drew me in...
"Nyahaha, I think my eyes are burning." I giggled meanly.

Closing my eyes tight I imagined the weather man to be a good looking man of about 6ft, with a well toned body, ruby red eyes narrowed into a sultry gaze, a gentle smile, long blonde hair, and the softest breasts in the world—oh wait, that isn't a man. Nyahaha, silly me.

"It's going to be clear blue skies all day today,” the man with the sexy voice said, and with that, my hand jutted out towards the power button once more, shutting it off instantly.

I stared into my reflection which appeared within the television, and smiled. My hair was messy, standing up in ways I thought impossible, my pajama top exposed my right shoulder, and the top three buttons were undone showing me an abundant view of my own cleavage. Today was going to be a great day I just knew it, why? Because I was going to see her.

At first glance you wouldn't have noticed it, but I got my bangs cut just the other day. So now instead of parting somewhere in the middle, my bangs parted somewhere to the side. And unlike before, you can finally see my eyes clearly. I wanted to see if her to notice the change and say, "What's up? Hey you've done something different with your hair." No, I was sure she'd notice right away... because she always notices. I went through all that trouble just because I wanted to make sure she really was paying attention to me; I'm being silly aren't I? Though there wasn't a doubt in my mind that she wouldn't acknowledge the change, she was far too considerate to just let it slide unvoiced.

"Morning, squirt," I hear my older brother say. He was dressed up for school looking as dashing as ever.

"Morning, Onii-chan," I replied with a bubbly smile.

Kyouya was in his mid-twenties now; I had to accept that my brother wasn’t about to change the way he spoke to me any time soon. He loved me to death and would do anything for me, but I really wished he’d at least call me by name, instead of ‘squirt’ of ‘jailbait’. It isn’t exactly my fault I wasn’t very tall, and it definitely wasn’t my choice to have older men flirt with me. The only one I wanted flirting or going anywhere near me was Fate-chan.

"You shouldn't be drinking coffee, you’ll turn your teeth yellow," I warned him with a smug grin.

Kyouya scoffed at me and took an overly exaggerated sip from his mug. "You say that when you’re my age," another over the top sip, "You’ll be praising this stuff’s existence like you worship the ground Fate walks on."

"Mou, did you at least leave me some?" I asked him with a dejected sigh knowing very well that what he said will inevitably prove true. Kyouya nodded his head and proceeded back into the kitchen.

I stood up and fixed my shirt and headed back into my room. I noticed that there was a small hop in my step and giggled. I was just so giddy today; I was practically bursting with excitement, because today I'm going to show her that I'm someone worthy of her affections. After taking one step into my bedroom, I caught sight of something pink in the periphery of my eye. I turned to face it and smiled; I had picked my cutest outfit and hung it up last night before I went to bed. I ironed it and made sure that there weren’t any creases or loose threads. This outfit was perfect, just like how my date with Fate-chan will be: perfect.

"She better notice..." I muttered with an excited grumble.

Dashing towards my underwear drawer, I dug around and pulled out a comfortable white push up bra (I wanted to make sure Fate-chan my assets at their best), brand-new white panties in case the ero-wind decided to make an appearance, and a pair of white thigh-length stockings with two cherries attached by the same stem embroidered on. I was pleased with my choice of under garments and walked back to my special outfit, carefully picking up from the hook it hung off of, and made my way to the bathroom.
The walk to the bathroom was quick and as soon as I locked the door behind me, I put my outfit on the door hook and began undressing, tossing my old clothes carelessly into the dirty clothes hamper with my name written on it. I waltzed into the shower and quickly turned it on with a quiet sigh of displeasure, I had no time to take a leisurely bath like I normally do since I woke up a little later than I hoped. I reached for the shampoo and squeezed out the substance within and began to lather it into my hair. The water droplets pelted me in rapid succession, earning it an "auu" that escaped through tightly pursed lips.

I really didn't like showers much; the feeling of the water spraying at me brought back painful memories of this guy I admired last year. He had asked me out on date one day and told me to wait for him by the entrance of the mall. I waited and waited for so long, but like an idiot, I stayed there even as the rain began to pour. Maybe it was my imagination playing tricks on me, but I remember seeing him and this other girl running towards the other entrance together. The next day I confronted him and he said that his ex-girlfriend wanted him back, and that he was only asking her out because he knew that it would make his ex extremely jealous. That guy ended up getting a serious beat down from my best friends, the Undefeated Regional Karate Championship Winner, Arisa Bannings, and the school's Judo club Captain Yagami Hayate, alongside the 'We Love Nanoha' fan club which consisted of Yagami Vita, Yagami Signum, and well the rest of the Yagami family including their humongous dog, Zafira.

Rinsing the soap off of my body, I stood there for a moment and allowed the water to wash over me for just a bit longer. I remember bumping into that guy at the mall one day with Fate-chan, he was still bitter about what had happened and laughed at how pathetic I was. I would have cried right there and then, but a strong hand had met with my shoulder, gripping onto it tightly followed by the words, "if I were you, I'd run now. No one gets away with hurting my girlfriend's feelings." I instinctively leaned into my girlfriend’s embrace, but when I looked up I saw deep burgundy eyes steeled into a death glare. This was an expression I never expected to see on my Fate-chan’s face… it was how do I say this? Um, it was kind of sexy.

A faint smile slowly replaced my frown as I said her name, "Fate-chan..."

Just saying her name made me feel so much better. She alleviated all of my worries and fears and converting them into soft fluffy memories full of sweet dreams and feather light touches. Oh how she made my heart pound, and the mere thought of her made me ridiculously happy. Even the briefest of memories had more than enough strength to put a smile on my face... I wanted to be beside her forever.

I confirmed my feelings once for my girlfriend again and shut the flow of water; I stood still for another moment or two to allow some of excess water droplets ripple off of my body. The blush on my face wouldn't leave even though I had taken such a cold shower.

"Fate-chan..." I whispered her name again as I got out of the shower and wiped my feet on the bath rug.

I reached for the towel and began to dry my body thoroughly, patting both my arms and legs dry. I then wrapped the towel around my body and grabbed hold of the blow dryer. I carefully plugged in the appliance, making sure my hands were dry and began to dry my long copper brown hair. With a hair brush in hand I ran it through as the dryer blew the hot air. Drying my hair had taken a few moments, but after I finished I folded and placed the towel neatly back onto the towel rack and searched for the moisturizing lotion. I made sure to use the scentless lotion, because I didn’t want it to clash with the special perfume I chose specifically for this date.

With one hand placed below the spout and the other pressing it down, I cupped a good hand full of the white substance that squirted out. I applied the lotion evenly onto my limbs and when the lotion I had on my hands ran out, I extracted more of the substance and began to apply it to the rest of my body. I applied the lotion to the point of satisfaction on my part, and began to dress. I put the push up bra on first, but even with the extra padding I still felt inadequate. And even though I knew I was quite well endowed, I still wanted to, oh what's the word? Impress. I know full well that I couldn’t compare with Fate-chan’s basketball court, but I couldn’t help but feel scared some girl with larger breasts than mine would steal her attention away from me. Nyahaha, I’m being silly again. I secured the support garment and moved onto getting my panties on as well as everything else.

'The ero wind is strong here in Japan, prepared I must be!' I thought with a snicker. In the past I have fallen victim to the mighty powers of the ero-wind many times, and through the course of many embarrassing moments, I have grown to accept it and respect it at the same time. It is now my greatest ally in the battle for boyfriends... sadly all pre-mentioned boyfriend ended up in utter, if not an epic... failure. I could move with the wind and hide just when it struck; avoiding any chance someone got a free show. I liked to think I was the ero-wind ninja; once again, I’m being silly.

The pretty pink skirt came next. This little number had cost me a small fortune, but the moment I laid eyes on it, I just knew I had to have it. The skirt allowed for a belt, which I decided to be my favourite red one, it was also pleated so it resembled a school girl uniform skirt. The hem of the skirt was lined by a red fabric that matched my belt, so it was even more so perfect. It was long enough to be decent, but at the same time it was short enough to give my girlfriend a good preview of the goods, i.e – my legs… among other things if I wasn’t careful when I danced with the ero-wind.

I slipped on the stockings and made sure they were aligned perfectly. I stood up and made sure they stayed put. After tugging on my stockings and fiddling with them, I reached for my favourite belt and weaved it around the skirt, fastening it to my waist. I twirled around and gleefully watched it spin with me. I took a quick gander at the skirt and felt it to low for my tastes, so I did what any normal woman would do if she were trying to impress her (incredibly sexy) companion. I loosened the belt and pulled the skirt up ever so gently, causing it to inch up my hips. I continued to adjust it until it was short enough to immediately catch Fate-chan’s attention.
With my skirt secured tightly around my waist once more, I reached for my midriff exposing, tight fitting sleeveless shirt. It was rimmed with a light shade of pink that matched my skirt. It hugged my curves perfectly and emphasized my bust. This shirt was one of my favourites, because it allowed a good amount of skin to be exposed, but it also went really well with any sweater.

My outfit was almost complete. All that was missing was my lucky sweater and the sunflower barrette that Fate-chan gave me as a present for our one week anniversary. I pulled my sweater off of the hanger and put it on. I debated whether I should zip it up all the way or just zip it up partially. The weatherman said it was supposed to be sunny, but mildly chilly day with a small chance of rain today. Since it was just ‘chilly’ and not cold, I decided to just zip it up halfway and move on.

Looking at the mirror I once again found myself in a pickle. Should I keep my hair down or put it up? Fate-chan said she liked how cute my ponytail was, but she also said that she wanted to see what I looked like with it down. Having my hair up makes me look more fun and lively, while having it down makes me look mature and exactly like my mother. So should I look fun or like a housewife?

“Ponytail it is,” I laughed dryly. “Nanoha, you need to learn how to spice things up. Twin tails maybe would be a nice change.”

I combed my hair once more and scooped it up into my regular style. I combed it thoroughly and made sure every hair was in place before keeping it with a black hair tie. The sunflower barrette I had sitting close by called out to me, telling me to wear it already. I heeded its call and clipped it on without much difficulty. I peered into the mirror once more and saw that my ponytail was dropping ever so slightly.
“Stay up you!” I growled at it as I tightened it.

Leaving the bathroom I made a quick pit stop in my room and scrounged around for the special perfume I bought special for today. It cost me a pretty penny, but when I tried the sample, I simply fell in love with it. The perfume had a sweet candy like aroma that I knew would draw Fate-chan closer to me for sure. She had a sweet tooth and this smell pegs that guilty pleasure of her right on the head. I found it sitting next to my unfinished homework and sighed.

“I’ll remember to do that later, I promise.” I told myself with little conviction in my voice.

I quickly sprayed some of the perfume on me and ran down into the living room. I know today was going to be a great day, I just know it. I caught my older brother just as he was about to leave for school and asked him what he thought of my outfit. I knew it wasn’t going to be a very nice comment, but that’s what older brothers are for.

"How old are you again?" Kyouya dead panned. I felt a stake drive itself into my chest when that question come out of my big brother’s big mouth. It hurt even more when he looked at his watch and turned to leave. "Have fun on your date with that total babe," he said with a nonchalant shrug.

He left me. That ungrateful jerk left me with such a half-hearted comment! How could he!? I’m his adorable little sister; he should be praising me from head to toe! Oh I’m going to get him when he comes home, I’ll get him good. I don’t know how I’d do that exactly, but I’ll figure out a way because love always wins!

“Nanoha,” my sister walked up to me and patted me on the head. “You’re looking really pretty today, what’s the special occasion?”

I blushed and told my sister with pride, “My first date with Fate-chan!”

“This Fate-chan of yours seems to make you really happy, huh?” my sister asked me with a smile. I nodded my head and grinned at her, unable to keep the joy in my heart concealed. “Well I’m sure she’ll simply fall in love with you by the end of the day.”

“I hope so,” I confessed shyly. “Fate-chan is really pretty, so I have a lot of competition.”

“No, I don’t think so.” My sister replied with her arms crossed. “She asked you to be her girlfriend, didn’t she?”

“Yes, but—”

“Then that means the only one she’s only interested in is you.”

“Yes, but—”
Miyuki quirked her eyebrow at me and frowned, “No ‘buts’ young lady! You’re going out there and winning that girl’s heart by the end of the day or else!”

“Or else what?”

She shrugged at me and nonchalantly said, “Or else you’ll never get laid.”

“Oh gross, Onee-chan!” I screamed. “I’m only fifteen; I haven’t even kissed her yet!”

“You mean you two haven’t kissed yet?”

“N-No… I was going to try today though.”

A soft giggle escaped my sister’s lips as she looked at me fondly. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. “My baby sister is growing up; I don’t know what I’m going to do now.”

“I know why don’t you get a boyfriend?” I suggested playfully.

“That’s a good idea; do you think Fate-chan has a brother you can hook me up with?” I shrugged my shoulders and told her Fate-chan didn’t speak much about her family, and that all of our conversations revolved around me. “Aw, well that’s okay. I’m just glad you’re happy.”

“Thanks, Onee-chan.”

“Say, why aren’t you wearing any makeup?” My sister asked. Once again I shrugged at her. “Normally girls who are out on dates put that stuff on religiously.”

“Well, Fate-chan doesn’t wear makeup,” I explained, “And she told me that she likes me the way I am.”

“Hm, makes sense, but the outfit…?”

I looked down at my clothes and thought that they were a little out of character, but I made a decision yesterday and I was going to stick by it. "Today... I'll be even cuter!" I exclaimed with a fist raised in the air.


~♥~

End of... part 1 of Forever.

メルト
MELT

朝目が覚めて
When I woke up this morning

真っ 先に思い浮かぶ君のこと…♥
The first thought I had was about you…♥

思い切って前髪を切った
So I decided to trim my bangs

「どうしたの?」って聞かれたくて
Just to hear you say "Is that a new style?"
ピンクの スカート、お花の髪飾りさして
Wearing a pink skirt and a flower hair clip
出かけるの
I set out

今日の私はかわいいのよ!
Because today I'm even cuter!


Dreams do come true! 8D

( ì x î ) I feel sorry for that little girl. Lol

NanoFaito's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/20/2009
Posts: 172

lolx i would like to see how arisa , hayate and nanoha fan club bash that stupid guy up in animation form. xD

nice story look forward to the next part

Yuki's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/20/2009
Posts: 384

Well it would start off with a drop kick. Definitely a drop kick.

Dreams do come true! 8D

( ì x î ) I feel sorry for that little girl. Lol

NanoFaito's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/20/2009
Posts: 172

xD a drop kick... everyone starts with that >.<

Yuki's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/20/2009
Posts: 384

I apologize, I'm not very original.

Dreams do come true! 8D

( ì x î ) I feel sorry for that little girl. Lol

langrisser's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/22/2009
Posts: 1380

Nice story, it's always nice to see such an energetic Nanoha.

Honulicious's picture
Offline
Joined: 12/18/2009
Posts: 123

this is really good!!i look forward to reading it on FF!!

Honulicious

vitachan's picture
Offline
Joined: 04/06/2010
Posts: 164

Nice start, I look forward to the following chapters~

Eisen, Usa-mimi Mode!

Nanonymous
Nanonymous's picture

Can't wait for more! Please update soon...along with other stories on FF

A.
A.'s picture
Online
Joined: 08/14/2009
Posts: 3737

Good job! I think I like better this version of "You make me melt", it's so adorable, I like how Nanoha is so innocent.

Please update soon~

Yuki's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/20/2009
Posts: 384

XD I'm glad you like it. -.-; I actually have 2 other versions of this story... but I like this one the best.

Dreams do come true! 8D

( ì x î ) I feel sorry for that little girl. Lol

Komett's picture
Offline
Joined: 04/19/2010
Posts: 18

Wow, you're a seriously good writer ^^

Everyone has some little pearl of wisdom here, usually. I don't know any. My signature can teach you nothing, people. Forgive me :D

Yuki's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/20/2009
Posts: 384

Thank you for the compliment. :3

Dreams do come true! 8D

( ì x î ) I feel sorry for that little girl. Lol

Nanonymous
Nanonymous's picture

Maybe you can post them all...haha. Hope you can keep on with this one. It's very cute!

Yuki's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/20/2009
Posts: 384

Haha... yes, post them all... even the ChroYuu version?

Dreams do come true! 8D

( ì x î ) I feel sorry for that little girl. Lol

Nanonymous
Nanonymous's picture

Haha...maybe not that one but hope you can post the rest of this one and the old one maybe?

Yuki's picture
Offline
Joined: 08/20/2009
Posts: 384

Been working on it, but I've been getting dragged back and forth at work... haven't had the time to.

Dreams do come true! 8D

( ì x î ) I feel sorry for that little girl. Lol

Nanonymous
Nanonymous's picture

It's alright, good luck with work. Take your time