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[Fanfic] Magical Record Lyrical Nanoha Force:Revised

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ULTRADJ4EVER's picture
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Joined: 01/22/2012
Posts: 383

Well, I had this idea of my own story for a while now. It's basically my own spin-off/continuation of Magical Record Lyrical Nanoha Force. I started to have my own ideas for the story so I decided why not write a fan fic on it. Please note, I have not read Chapters 20-24 unfortunately, but I heard what they are about so I have at least some idea of them. Until they are translated to English, I can't read them, unfortunately. This will be the prologue, but until I read the recent chapters, I'm not exactly sure how to proceed the story, but at least I can do the prologue, for now. I hope you at least enjoy it.

Spoiler:
Revised Record 00: Prologue: Looming Shadows

Six years ago...

"Hmph. Well, this is interesting, to say the least." Said an intimidating male voice in the shadows. The man was sitting in a fancy red leather chair, next to a burning fire place. The fire place itself was made of black marble. The room he was in was an office with a oak wooden desk, windows that shown in the evening light, and a double wooden door in the far side of the room, opposite to the desk, for entering and exiting.
"I would have never have guesses that a bunch of low-class Mages would be able to beat Jail Scaglietti and his walking scrapheaps of metal he calls Combat Cyborgs, and apparently, it seems Regius got murdered by one of them from the looks of it.Not only he was killed, but apparently, it seems the Three main heads of the TSAB are dead as well. Oh well, that's one less worry for me, even though I was planning an assassination on them soon anyway." He turned the page after he finished speaking his thoughts aloud. Even though this man was sitting next to a fire place, the top half of his body was covered in shadow. He was holding in his hand a copy of today's newspaper, which the head line read:

:RIOT FORCE SIX STOPPED MASS TERRORIST ATTACK:
Jail Scaglietti and several Combat Cyborgs, with a few mages, have been arrested today on the crimes of committing a mass terrorist attack on Mid-Childa twice.

Well I knew Jail would fail in his foolish plans, trying to use the Saint's Cradle to take over Mid-Childa, but I will admit, this incident gives me interesting information.The man thought to himself, also trying to plan on his next move. It seems I will have to keep tabs on this "Riot Force Six" to see if they will be a hindrance to my plans. Though I believe when the time comes, eliminating them will be no problem.
He took a sip of his tea in which he had next to him on a small table. He then set the paper down and took a file that was also laying on the table. He opened the file and started to read some of the papers inside, reading them at different paces.
"My eclipse blood project is showing extraordinary results. My elite fighting force is adapting to the virus quite nicely. It seems they've overcome the painful phase of the virus and are now stronger than ever. Injecting them with the blood was the right choice after all. Even injecting the Huckebein and Grendel Families with the copy blood is showing some interesting results. It seems like the only side effect though is madness taking over them, and the only way the calm that madness is to kill. Even though they have copy blood and not the true blood, if the Huckebein and Grendel Families continue to be of use to me, I will not eliminate them. Yet."
He finished his sentence with a sinister voice, then took another sip of his tea. He then got up, the shadows not leaving his face, got up and walked to the window in which he looked through.
If all goes according to plan, within the next couple of years my ultimate creation should be complete. Vandin better keep following my orders and manipulate the Grendels like I asked him to, and when the time is right, I'll have him make the Grendel and Huckebein families eliminate each other, then I might or might not kill him as well if he is still use to me. I just need a few more components to finish it, and then the dimensions will fall before me. But first, "Nightmare!"
Behind him, the shadows began to converge and form a black silhouette of a man appearing to be wearing some kind of mask.
"You called, milord?" the creature spoke.
"I need you to gather one or two other elite true blood members and collect some Lost Logia for me. We have to take this window of opportunity now while the TSAB is busy warping up the incident that has recently transpired."
Suddenly, a holopad appeared before the shadow creature. The figure looked at the list before its eyes and spoke," It shall be done, milord."
The shadows dispersed, returning to their places all over the room, and the figure was gone.
Soon, my greatest creation will be completed, and then, everyone in the known dimensions will be at my knees.
At this, the man in his office, began to laugh.

That's what I have so far, I may edit it in the future. For now, the next chapter will not come any time soon until I read the newer chapters of Force at least. Don't be shy and tell me what you think.

EDIT: Okay, I caught up with Force and made some revisions to the prologue. If there is anything wrong with what I wrote, please do not hesitate to tell me so, so i can improve and fix any mistakes I made. I'm going to start working on chapter 1, but I'm not entirely sure when it will be out. I recommend rereading the prologue since I made some revisions.

Q: Where am I?
A: Everywhere.

Sha Yurigami's picture
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Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 243

I see, so you've actually did your remake of Force, I'm happy for you XD I also did some names for the spin-off I'm going to do XD Anyway, nice foreshadowing beginning! And to even include the Grendel Family...nice move!

Anyway please keep it up!

''Yuri is the allmighty power which makes any wonder possible!''

Follow your Dreams and Love will await you on the way.

ULTRADJ4EVER's picture
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Joined: 01/22/2012
Posts: 383

Thanks for the praise, although there's some tweaking I have to do to the prologue, I'm glad you though it was nice
like I said, if I read the newer chapters, I would know how to continue, but only time will tell

Q: Where am I?
A: Everywhere.

silentscream84's picture
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Joined: 10/13/2012
Posts: 20

I like what you've written so far. Please write MOAR.

ULTRADJ4EVER's picture
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Joined: 01/22/2012
Posts: 383

Well, I know it's been a LONG while, but let's just say stuff happened. I will try to keep consistency of updates in the future, and try to understand the manga, even though it won't matter soon. So, without further a due, I present part one of chapter one:

Spoiler:
Revised Record 01: The Strongest Family
The only sound heard in the fancy decorated hallway was soft footsteps on a red velvet carpet. There were white marble columns on the sides of the white, pristine walls and crystal chandeliers were on the ceiling, one after the other, illuminating the hallway even more. The man was quickening pace a little, wanting to get his destination as soon as possible. At last, he reached the end of the hallway, greeted be double doors in which he pushed open to get inside his office. He sat on the chair behind his desk and pressed a button on the intercom on his desk. A holopad screed came up and a woman with brown short hair was on the screen.
“Clair, send me the progress of the two eclipse families and Vandin’s progress would you?” The man in the brown leather chair ordered.
“Yes sir.”
The woman on the other end of the screen pushed a button to send the reports to her superior. There were suddenly multiple screens in front of the man showing very detailed reports and pictures of the Huckebien and Grendel families, and even some reports on Vandin himself.
“Hmm…” The man hummed to himself as he looked over all the reports being presented in front of him. “Vandin and the two families are beginning to be more trouble than they’re worth. It looks like it’s time to cut my losses and move on to phase two. It’s time to assemble my elite fighting force to handle the job. No doubt the TSAB will be in the way in the operation I have planned for the strongest family of the eclipse blood project. Even my protégé will no doubt be ready for the job.”
He pressed the same button as before on the intercom, then gave an order to the same lady shown before, “Assemble the True Blood family to the conference room, I have a mission for them.”
“Yes sir.”
After the exchange, he got up to face a mirror that was embedded on the wall to make sure he was presentable. He had blonde hair that was neatly combed back and sharp green eyes that could pierce a brick wall all the way through to the other side. He had a broad but thin chin and an even broader chest to boot. He was wearing Victorian style clothing that looked outdated, but matched his style perfectly. He had a blue formal tailcoat, blue highland pants, a white baker city vest, a white wing tip shirt, and a silk white puff tie, Black Elastic Y-Back Braces underneath the vest, a Pearl Tie Tack, and white gloves to match the outfit. This man’s name was Sir Clarence Eisenwald, leader of the True Blood family, and organizer of the Eclipse blood projects.
He sat back down in his desk, and pressed another button on the intercom. This time, he was greeted to a room of a small group of people sitting and awaiting his orders on the other side of the holopad.
“My fellow True Blood members, I have a new mission for you…”
___________________________________________________________________________________
Former Riot Force 6 members were fighting members of the Huckebien family, while Carter’s family was sitting in jail, all oblivious of the events that were about to befall before them all, hopeless to stop it…

Stay tuned for part two of chapter one. I promise not to take so long.

Q: Where am I?
A: Everywhere.