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[Fanfic] The Meaning of Us

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Caelion's picture
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Joined: 07/02/2012
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I'd like to present you my first fic. Well, actually it's not the first story written by me, but the first one I want to share with the community. Currently I have this prologue and chapter one finished, I'm getting closer to the end of chapter two. Later, I'll post a link to FF.net version (which is pretty much the same unless I find some new errors to fix).

Constructive criticism is relly appreciated.

With that said, here it is:

Spoiler:

A/N: I dedicate this story to Satashi, whose writings inspired my way and gave me motivation to write on my own. I wish I had a chance to talk with you.

It was almost half past midnight when I woke up. I tried to get up but she pressed her front closer to my back. I stopped immediately and carefully laid back. After all I didn't want to wake her up.

I closed my eyes in attempt to sleep again and waited. And waited. Minute by minute, time was passing by ever so slowly but somehow I stayed awake. In times like this I usually start to think. About me, about her, about... us.

Why am I here, with her, in the first place? It happened a few years ago. I woke up late at night having a nightmare. I was scarred, I couldn't help it so I went to Fate-chan's room and asked her if we can sleep together for that one night. She agreed but the bad dreams haven't stopped repeating themselves. And because of it, and Fate-chan being Fate-chan of course (she insisted to sleep with me after that), we somehow made a habit of sleeping together.

I can't say that I don't like it. In fact... it's rather the opposite. Despite all the playful comments from the rest of my family, considering our age. “Let them laugh if they want to. I'll always be there for you.” Her words were so simple yet they meant so much to me.

Needless to say, the two of us have always been close. We've been together whenever we could, always holding hands or just touching. There was a time when mom said that if she didn't know us, she would mistake us for a couple. It hurt. It still does, whenever I think about it. Because I cannot stop myself from imagining how things would go if we really were like that.

I wonder when it has begun. I have always liked spending time with her. When we started hitting our teenage years, I started to notice her more. In that way, I mean. She grew even taller than me (and our friends have always been saying that I'm the tall one), from a pretty girl she changed into a beautiful woman.

I really like looking at her. Her slender arms, ample chest, flat tummy, long, golden hair. Her skin is so smooth and pale but still gorgeous, with nice scent. Her body is always warm and soft.

And her eyes. God, how I love her deep, red eyes. They have that gentle and caring look, the one I want to be meant only for me. And I feel really selfish because of this one, little wish.

Sometimes I also feel a little guilty for taking pleasure in watching her like that. Or touching her like that. She doesn't know and that's why. She just smiles at me and hugs me, and I try to not think about anything perverted.

Anyway, I somehow knew that it may end up this way. As if I expected the feelings I have now. The point lies in realisation.

I realised everything about four years ago. We were heading home after school when that boy from our class appeared, telling her that he wanted to talk. I knew that he liked her. It wasn't the first time when someone was going to confess their feelings to her, she was very popular after all. But that time it was different. That time I was there, I saw it, I felt my breath becoming heavier as I silently waited for her answer. Even if I should be happy for her, I couldn't. So I excused myself and walked home, leaving her confused.

Back then I didn't know why I behaved like this, like a spoiled child, however, the effect was the one I subconsciously desired for. She politely turned him down and ran after me. Even if she acted like nothing happened, there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. But was it because of him or... because of me?

That was when I've realised that I like her in the way I shouldn't. That almost everything in her attracts me. And that I can't tell her anything about it. I cannot destroy the relationship we've managed to build for all this years.

I accepted those feelings as a part of me. I've always believed that heart doesn't really listen to one's mind. How could I hate myself for something I can't control? I could, but I know that she would be sad if I thought about it in that way. If she only knew, of course. And I don't want to make her sad so I must be strong, I'm going to live through it.

And so I am here. Lying in her bed, with the full Moon shining on my eyes, and her, hidden behind me, gently breathing on my neck.

I could be someone whom people could call 'normal'. If it wasn't for my secret. The one I must keep to myself carefully. The one I can not afford to spill.

My name is Takamachi Nanoha. I'm twenty years old and I'm in love with my sister.

Caelion's picture
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The story is on Fanfiction.net now, here's the link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8302857/1/The_Meaning_of_Us

Hearts Cross's picture
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Joined: 11/11/2011
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Ooooh~!!! Thank you for sharing this on NanoFate! I've read this fanfiction for a long time at the point I can't remember, but oh well. I shall read it again. But all I can remember is the awesome-ness of it. ^w^

Caelion's picture
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Thanks for the comment but I think that you are talking about a different story. I've started writing this one like... two weeks ago? xD

Anyway, do you remember the title or the author of the other one? I haven't seen too much fics following the similar scenario so I'd like to read it sometime.

Hearts Cross's picture
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Really?! I thought that I saw this title with a similar name. @__@

And ah, I really am not sure anymore. But yeah, good read. OTL

ditto526's picture
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I think the story they may be thinking of is "the Proof of Us", also a great story, and yours is off to a good start

Caelion's picture
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Thank you for your kind words, I try to do my best.

As for “The Proof of Us”, as far as I remember it's a story about Nanoha and Fate's wedding, written by Satashi. The similarity of my title is accidental though.

I'll try to post the first chapter tomorrow, The grammar probably needs some corrections and finding all errors may take some time.

ULTRADJ4EVER's picture
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Joined: 01/22/2012
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Curse you! Now you make want more, but I'll be patient

Q: Where am I?
A: Everywhere.

Caelion's picture
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First of all, I want to thank all the people who took their time to write me a comment.

The first chapter is ready and it's already posted on FF.net so I'll just post a link here.

With that said, have a good read.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8302857/2/

Caelion's picture
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Caelion's picture
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And the next chapter is here www.fanfiction.net/s/8302857/4/

Have a good read.

Caelion's picture
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5th chapter posted: www.fanfiction.net/s/8302857/5/

I don't like asking for reviews only to get more attention, if someone is willing to write me one then I'm glad but this time, as I stated in author's notes at the end of the chapter, I got to the point where I'm not sure of some things. I'm convinced that there are a lot of much more experienced writers here, could you give me some feedback so I can improve my writing? And also the readers, even if from my point of view the story may be interesting, I don't know how other people react to it (except for some comments from ff.net). I'm not writing only for myself after all ;)

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ditto526's picture
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This is great story, I can't wait for the next chapter and see how you wrap it all up, keep up the great work

Caelion's picture
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Thank you, I have already written a rough draft, I hope I'll manage to post the chapter on Monday.

Caelion's picture
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The last chapter is posted: www.fanfiction.net/s/8302857/7/

Thank you for your comments and encouragement, I hope I managed to keep you entertained.

Caelion's picture
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I've finished revising the story, I made some corrections, added a few details, made the first three chapters readable. I hope you'll enjoy the fic, have a good read ;)