Skip to main content

[Fanfic] Love&Magic [wip]

34 replies [Last post]
Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

This is just an idea, it still needs work.


“Hey you two, how is my favorite couple? Are you enjoying your honeymoon on good old Earth?” Their childhood friend's smiling face greeted them from the screen floating in front of them.

“Hayate,” Nanoha returned her greeting with equal enthusiasm from her position cuddled on Fate's lap, “we can't complain, the TSAB's basically paying us for doing nothing. Well, that's not true, there's so many people camping, the place's packed full. And we also had to help Graham-san and the twins because more than half the people here seem to have never camped out before in their lives.”

“Ah ah, I'm sorry you had to do that instead of enjoying your vacation,” the brunette chuckled sheepishly at her friends' situation, “but look at the bright side, for once it looks like the irregularities uncle picked up aren't anything that could implode and throw our whole solar system into a dimensional distortion.”

“Yeah, that's new,” Nanoha answered finding the joke mildly funny despite Hayate saying a rather scary truth, “but still, for as little as it is, I'm still working on my honeymoon, it's totally wrong!”

“I wish I could help you, I really do,” the mistress of the Tome of the Night Sky said apologetically.

The truth was she could have easily helped her friends with their economic problems since her salary was rather high, if it wasn't for the fact she had to support not only herself but her knights too. Hayate was actually in the middle of presenting a petition for the four of them to receive their own salary, something the TSAB had initially refused on the base that they were programs and not real flesh and blood people.

“We know, don't worry Hayate, it's the thought that counts.” Nanoha smiled at her friend.

“Anyway, I just wanted to say hi, but since Fate-chan didn't say a word and kept staring down your shirt this whole time I guess I'll hang up now.”

“I wasn't!” Fate's head shot up so fast the other two girls wondered if she unconsciously used her sonic move.

“Oh, I see,” Nanoha sighed with a sad face, “I guess Fate-chan doesn't like my chest after all...”

“No! Yes! Of course I love your breasts, but I wasn't staring, not because I didn't want to but I didn't, I mean... I...” The blonde's face had steadily gained color as she kept rambling until her brain finally caught up with what her mouth was spouting and sent the command to shut it.

“You're making fun of me, aren't you?” she asked after a while, hiding her very red face with her hands.

Nanoha giggled at her while Hayate herself was punching her desk and laughing without holding back.

“I'm sorry Fate-chan, you're just so cute, we can't help it,” her not-so-dear-right-now wife told her with mirth.

Fate pouted and pushed her down her lap, then turned her back to her and laid face down on the couch.

“Why didn't you marry Hayate, then, if you get along so well making fun of me?”

“I would say yes, Nanoha-chan,” the voice from the screen promptly answered.

Nanoha shook her head and said goodbye to Hayate before hanging up. Once she did that she turned her attention to her pouting wife who was still laying face down on the couch without looking at her.

“Fate-chan,” she called as she crawled on the couch until she was overing the blonde on her hands and knees, “Fate-chaaaan,” she called a second time while lowering her head until her lips brushed against said blonde's ear.

That got a reaction as the girl under her turned around so that she was facing her while laying on her back now. She was, however, still pouting with her arms crossed over her chest.

“You're mean,” Fate accused her.

“I'm sorry,” Nanoha apologized while lowering herself on top of her. Almost on instinct, Fate uncrossed her arms to slip them around her waist, “please forgive me?” The request was done while laying a kiss at the corner of her mouth, which combined with the sensation of their bodies touching as Fate felt the gentle weight of her lovely wife on her, gave her little choice but to nod to grant her a positive answer.

Nanoha grinned like the cat who ate the canary as she nuzzled her very gullible sweetheart and simply laid there, enjoying their closeness and Fate's caresses as the latter had started to move her hands up and down her back.

It might not be the best honeymoon they could have, but just being able to share a moment like that, just the two of them resting in each other's arms, it made it all worth it.

You can't probably see it yet, but this story (if it'll be continued) is going to be a crossover. However the main focus will be on Nanoha and Fate. There is more I wanted to write, this little scene is just a preview, if you like it I'll add more.

Nyamo's picture
Joined: 07/10/2011
Posts: 147

Well this certainly is a nice beginning, some NanoFate fluff...honeymoon... hehehe~
Of course something will happen ! I wanna know what kind of crossover it is ! Please continue !

Nanonymous's picture

Oh...Interesting. Please continue if you would.

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434


Humming happily, Nanoha continued to cuddle with Fate.

They remained like that for some time before the mood eventually shifted, turning from peaceful to intense, mainly because the blue eyed girl started to lay kisses on the blonde's neck as well as sliding one of her legs between hers. At that point Fate didn't waste time to respond by sneaking under the auburn haired girl's shirt with her hands to continue her previous rubbing motion without the hindrance of the cloth separating her from the warm, soft, smooth skin of the love of her life.

Nanoha pulled herself up to look at those red eyes that made her fall in love before she could even understand what that feeling was, a mischievous smile plastered on her face full of promises. She felt the arms around her back tighten around her in an embrace that pulled her down and tilted her head a bit as she descended to kiss her wife's lips...

When someone banged on the door.

The two girls froze in their spots, their lips so close it was hard to believe they weren't touching.

Fate could clearly see the desperate struggle behind the violet blue eyes that shifted from her to the front door and back to her, the responsible and conscientious side warring against selfish desires as Nanoha bit her lower lip and looked at her with pleading eyes. She knew they were begging her to ask her to stay just as she knew that, should she do so, whoever was knocking on the door would be ignored and left to their own devices till the next day.

Unfortunately for the both of them, though, Fate's sense of responsibility and her selflessness was very similar to Nanoha's own.

“We should answer that,” she murmured, regretfully putting a definite stop to their nightly activities.

A frustrated groan escaped from Nanoha's lips as she closed her eyes in resignation.

“I just hope it's not that old guy in a woman's sleeping dress who wants to ask how to flush the toilet. I mean, really, there's been a lot of weirdos camping out here these past few days and the place is packed full too,” she grumbled unhappily as she made to get up.

However, despite her previous words, Fate's arms were still hugging her and seemed to have no intention to let her go, effectively preventing her from going to answer the door. Realizing this, Nanoha pecked her lips lightly while reaching behind her to grab one of her wrists and free herself from the intimate embrace.

Once she was finally standing, she fixed her shirt walking to the front door. However, she stopped abruptly when she felt the lack of a certain support. Glancing back Fate who was fixing her own skirt, Nanoha reached up her back to clasp her bra, idly wondering when and how exactly the blonde had managed to unclasp it without her notice, then waited for said blonde to be absolutely impeccable. There was no way she was going to let the annoying idiot who dared interrupt their fun get a peek at her woman.

'And now I sound like Hayate. I bet she'd laugh herself silly if she was here now.'

Shaking her head to clear her mind, she finally opened the door.

“Hello, how can I-”


[Protection- Divine Shooter]

The hooded, cloaked figure holding a wand that had tried to attack Nanoha was thrown away and fell on his back. The other people who had been standing in front of the door, both those dressed in the same hood and cloak getup and a few men in more normal clothes, stared at her in silence. On the few faces that weren't hidden, shock was clearly visible.

“Erm... oops? Nyahaha...”

With this it should become clear what kind of crossover this is along with "when" this whole thing happens. I had a scene in mind that happens before this one, but I don't know what to do with it, because I like how the crossover is hidden and then revealed in what I've written so far, and adding that scene before would give it away before.
Maybe I could use these pieces for a "prologue" and start chapter one some time before what happened here? Or put a flashback later?
Btw, if you see mistakes, or have questions, suggestions, or things you'd like to see, just leave a post, ok? ^.^

EDIT- Added a little detail to the paragraph in which they fix their clothes before nanoha opens the door.

ULTRADJ4EVER's picture
Joined: 01/22/2012
Posts: 386

yeah, I'm not exactly sure what this crosses over yet

Q: Where am I?
A: Everywhere.

Nyamo's picture
Joined: 07/10/2011
Posts: 147

Harry Potter then ? Weirdly that could work well. :P
Those were death eaters ? Whoever they are they aren't friendly, but they stumbled upon the wrong people. I pity them somehow...but how could they interrupt their sexy time !? Unforgivable !
Flashbacks sound good to me ? Maybe ?
I'm already hooked, I wanna know what's next ~! Please ? :3

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

Indeed, Harry Potter.

Those who read the books can probably guess that this takes place roughly at the beginning of the fourth book, when old death eaters caused that ruckus after the final of the quidditch world cup. However, unlike the book, here who owns and manages the campsite isn't a poor defenseless muggle family they can harass, but Graham, who is also housing Nanoha and Fate.

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

Another little snippet :)

Nanoha was a bundle of nerves.

After shooting her wanna-be assailant, or rather, after Raising Heart had shot her wanna-be assailant, she had slammed the door close and proceeded to panic about accidentally showing her magic and possibly hurting an “innocent” person.

“I'm gonna get court marshaled, I won't be able to be a teacher, they'll send me to clean admiral Crowbel's toilet and she'll make me into her paper-pusher slave...”

Despite knowing she needed to calm her down, Fate couldn't help just looking at the auburn haired girl fretting about how she “screwed up”. She was just so cute!

Shaking her head to clear her mind, lest Nanoha found out what she had just thought and took offense, Fate stepped forward and hugged her from behind.

“Nanoha, calm down. You just acted in self-defense, no one will punish you for bringing up a shield, even if trying to cover up the whole magic business is going to be somewhat complicated.”

“Eh.. What if it wasn't just a shield?” the shorter girl asked guiltily. “What if Raising Heart-”

“I acted as master mentally commanded.” If a mechanical voice could sound indignant it'd sound like Nanoha's device did right then and there.

“Ok, what if I used divine shooter on that person?” On the brighter side, Nanoha didn't sound like she was having a panic attack anymore, although the slightly annoyed tone wasn't necessarily a good change.

“What?” the blonde asked worriedly. “Nanoha, that wasn't really... I mean, a divine shooter? Isn't that a little excessive?”

“Fate-chan,” the auburn haired girl objected, “I'm a seventeen years old hormonal teenager who was hit by puberty like a starlight breaker, I'm on my honeymoon with my incredibly beautiful and sexy wife whom I love with all my heart, it's late at night and we were this close to do what married people do, when they banged on the door and tried to attack me as soon as I opened. Excuse me if I was slightly annoyed and may have responded with a bit more force than I'd usually employ.”

Fate blinked at Nanoha's tirade about the offense against her conjugal rights. Maybe Hayate wasn't all that wrong when she said that after being a blissfully oblivious child, Nanoha's libido, recently awakened in her teenager years, was going to fry her brain.

More importantly, though, in between her frustrated rant the blue eyed angel had managed to mix in a couple of declarations and an implications that made Fate tighten her arms around the other girl.

“Do you really think that about me? And you love me with all your heart?” she whispered softly as she hugged the shorter girl.

“Do you really need to ask, Fate-chan?” Nanoha huffed even as she felt her cheeks coloring while leaning back more into her embrace.

“I like to hear it,” was the honest reply.

Turning around to be able to see her newly wed wife, Nanoha answered, “I think you're beautiful and sexy and I love you more than words can say.”

Fate's reaction melted her heart. The way she smiled brightly, her cheeks gaining a deep blush, and those gorgeous burgundy eyes that were once full of sadness were now radiating pure and unadulterated joy. The knowledge she could bring such happiness to Fate by simply being honest about her own feelings was exhilarating.

“Come on, kiss.”

“Yeah, kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

Both girls, who had admittedly been thinking to do just that, froze at hearing the two voices coming from the stairs to the upper floor where Graham and the Liese twins had their bedrooms. Turning, they could see the two cat familiars, conveniently in the form of two human children, that were spurring them on.

“Aria, Lotte, be good,” Graham himself reprimanded them as he was coming down the stairs. “Fate, Nanoha, we heard some noises as if there was a commotion. Is everything alright?”

“Ye- No,” Nanoha answered trying to compose herself. “Uhm, there might be a problem with some people outside. When I opened the door a guy tried to do... something that looked a lot like a magical attack, actually... and I might have reacted with a little more force than necessary.”

“I see,” he said noncommittally. “We'd better make sure about what the situation is, who that person is, what he tried to do and why, and whatever he was injured. I have a feeling that the people outside have something to do with the magical irregularities we've been picking up the last few weeks, in which case it's likely they'll try to cover this whole affair up. Unless, of course, they decide to try to find out how Nanoha managed to utterly humiliate one of them.”

It was hard to say for certain but, judging by the Liese twins' grins after their master's last declaration, it seemed like Graham was taking some kind of personal satisfaction in the knowledge that a TSAB mage could wipe the floor with whoever these people were. Probably it was some kind of patriotic feeling from the former TSAB admiral, although, since the man was actually originally from Earth and not Mid-Childa, one could argue that it was a somewhat twisted logic.

With the self-assurance only a man of Gil Graham's power -and appearance, really he was a strapping man despite his age- could have, he calmly walked to the door and opened it.

I had a scene in mind with Aria and Lotte talking with Fate and Nanoha, but I'm not sure where to put it.
Also, I accept suggestions about future developments. I've already decided about one person from Nanoha who'll make an appearance soon and maybe remain there long-term, but I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts/opinions about it.
And of course, point out if there are parts that are unclear or worded badly.

Nyamo's picture
Joined: 07/10/2011
Posts: 147

Haha she didn't shoot them on purpose then, just her hormones talking !
Wait a minute...17 and married ? Is it possible ? Errr...Mid-Childa.
Why are they always stopped in their fluffy time !? Mouuuu !
Idea : infiltration for both of them ? I don't know on which side, but... and I want to see Hayate ! Please ? She can scare the magic world even further :3
I like this so far. :)

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

Yeah, I didn't want to have Nanoha as the White Devil that shoots everyone. As fun as that is, I think people have put too much emphasis on that and forgot that she's a really nice girl who would like to solve things without a fight. And since I want to portray her like that, I felt like I had to give an explanation/excuse for her seemingly excessive use of force.

I'll explain Mid-Childa's politics on ages later in the story, but in short, once someone is considered mature enough to be a high-ranked member of their military(TSAB) they should be considered as adult in all other aspects too.

They'll infiltrate to investigate Earth's magic society, yeah. I already have the "technical aspects" figured out, so that's not a problem.
So, Hayate, huh? I considered her but I was unsure... I guess I'll get her to join in after all.

Now I have to figure out if I should go back and add Aria&Lotte+Fate&Nanoha conversation scene in the beginning(leaning toward this as it would make the start less abrupt too), holding it back to squeeze it into a future chapter (not sure about this, it would mean they have to stay where they are for longer than I thought), or put it as an omake(the easy way out).

Thanks for your help Nyamo, I'm glad you're enjoying this.

Nyamo's picture
Joined: 07/10/2011
Posts: 147

It's true that she's seen as the "shoot first ask later" person...but she can't be just nice and smile all the time without having some dark side...! But I like your excuse, it's sweet.
Yeah, since they enrolled 9 years olds to fight that wouldn't make sense they'd narrow their rights in other aspects...or maybe it would regarding their health. Anyway.
You're wondering after they infiltrate then ? Dunno, meet some death eaters like...ack I forgot who they were (one day I'll read HP again...)...17...too old for the already written about Hogwart students along with Harry & co, but it could be interesting as students from other schools, now that I think about it. Ah but you already did this aspect. Oops.
I won't force you to make Hayate join, but to me she somehow adds some... dunno, interesting point of view ? Different mood ? And I just like the character.
I don't know what this conversation is about, but you could indeed put it at the beginning...but I like how the one with Hayate starts, it puts the base... As a (small) prologue ?
I'm not sure I'm helping here ^^'

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

I ask opinion because I'm unsure on what to write, believe me you couldn't force me to do anything if I was against it, so don't be afraid to voice out what you'd like to see. Hayate's in, you're right, she can add a lot to the story.

They'll have to interact with Harry and the others, if nothing else because they're the only characters I can actually use consistently without making OCs. I think I can come up with an excuse to have them do that despite the age gap, it's not that hard.

It's just a little scene, and the small prologue is really small...
BTW, I plan to eventually post this on, gluing together some snippets, adding things and fixing others.

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

Dedicated solely to Nyamo! To place before the first snippet.

Nanoha closed the door behind her and looked up into the living room, immediately spotting the one was looking for.

Smiling slightly, she stealthily made her way across the room until she was standing behind the couch, then leaned forward and covered the sitting blonde's eyes with her hands.

“Guess who?”

“Nanoha,” Fate called her at the same time she grabbed one of the auburn haired girl's wrists and pulled her hand down to kiss her palm, her now uncovered crimson eyes somehow smiling as much as her lips.

They had just finished to greet each other when an indistinct whine coming from Fate's lap claimed their attention. Looking down, Nanoha saw a familiar pair of cats snuggled on said lap. One of them was enjoying being petted by Fate's deft fingers while the other, the one who had let out the whining sound, had been left unattended by the hand that had moved to grasp Nanoha's own.

Fate chuckled, amused by the feline's action, and resumed her pampering after giving Nanoha an apologizing look. The latter pouted and moved to sit on the couch herself all the while looking at the twin cats jealously.

“Fate, the white devil is glaring at us, she wants to kill us,” one of the two spoke up.

“Yeah, please Fate, protect us from the white devil who'd kill two innocent kittens,” the other agreed.

The blonde girl couldn't help laughing at the indignant sputtering that came from said white devil.

“Fate-chan! Don't laugh!” Nanoha protested. “This is all wrong, if one of us were to hurt cats that'd be you, not me!” She received three quizzical expressions, two feline and one human, and she smiled at the chance of pulling Fate's hair after the blonde had laughed at her. “Don't tell me you forgot about when we first met.”

It didn't take more than a blink of her eyes before she understood what the blue eyed girl was referring to. “That didn't count, Nanoha that cat was possessed by a Jewel Seed! It was as tall as the Tokyo tower!”

“Don't be so melodramatic, it barely reached the tree tops.” She dismissed Fate's words before adding, “And it was just a good little kit that wanted to play.”

“No, no, I'm sure it was bigger than that, it was a hungry beast.”

“You're exaggerating, you're just looking for excuses because you shot him with more electricity than a city consumes in a week.”

“Who's exaggerating now?” Fate pointed out amused. “Yuuno was the only other person present and he would agree with me.”

“Of course he would,” Nanoha said rolling her eyes. “He was a ferret back then, and he never forgave that cat for trying to eat him, even-” she hurriedly continued to talk before Fate could say anything about how she was right about the kit being an hungry beast, “even if it really just wanted to play.”

“Was all this before or after you ended up naked because of a malfunction with your barrier jackets?” Aria -or was it Lotte? It was hard enough to distinguish them when the two familiars were in their human form, but when they were cats it was impossible for anyone not Gil Graham- asked.

Since Fate's natural shyness had put her out of commission as soon as the question came, it fell to Nanoha to answer.

“We never ended up naked, who told yo- No, wait, more importantly, what kind of extravagant tale did you hear?”

“That your devices were damaged because of a Jewel Seed, and your barrier jackets vanished leaving you two bare naked except for your hair ribbons to stare at each other and call each other's names,” the other cat twin answered.

“Raising Heart, take note: must track down the source of this rumor and come up with a suitable punishment.”

“Yes, master.” The mechanical voice of Nanoha's trusted intelligent device came from around her neck where the red sphere was hanging.

“Ok you two, let's make this clear, we did not end up naked back then.”

“So, when did you?”

Nanoha furtively glanced at Fate, but with the direction the conversation had taken the blonde wasn't going to be able to do much more than blush cutely and shuffle in her sit. Actions that made her look absolutely adorable and spurred Nanoha into trying to get rid of their extra company.

“Don't you know that curiosity killed the cat?”

“Yeah, but satisfaction brought it back”

“I assure you I can shoot more than nine times. Now off you go, go to sleep, it's late. Let me have my Fate-chan time.”

The two cats looked at each other in a silent exchange before they jumped down the couch, having decided to leave the girls to have their alone time together. After all the two deserved it since they were being a big help in managing their master -or father, as the Liese twins liked to call him- Graham's camping field.

Nanoha and Fate absently wished them a good night while the familiars disappeared upstairs, before the former moved down the couch until she occupied the place she had coveted since entering the room, namely Fate's lap. She squirmed around a bit until she found a comfortable position and snuggled against the taller blonde who smiled down at her and kissed her forehead.

“Master, call from colonel Hayate.”

“Let it through,” Nanoha said happily pulling Fate's arms tighter around her. As soon as she finished talking, a screen appeared floating in front of them showing the image of their childhood friend.

I haven't re-read this, it's probably a bit rushed here and there. Help me fix it and I'll be able to have the prologue up on soon.

Nyamo's picture
Joined: 07/10/2011
Posts: 147

Hehee, the famous snippet !
I'm also curious to know where this story came from...Hayate ? (the first who comes to mind with this kind of prank)
I only see a missing 'she' in the first sentence, and I'm not good at writing so...I'll just say I like it that way. Love the interactions, it feels natural and made me smile ^^

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

With the self-assurance only a man of Gil Graham's power -and appearance, really he was a strapping man despite his age- could have, he calmly walked to the door and opened it with his twin familiars, now looking like two normal young adults, just a step behind him, flanking him.

Those two changed from a form to the other so fast, so often, Nanoha was starting to feel motion sickness.

When the door opened, the first thing Nanoha took notice of was the absence of the hooded people from before, and not only them. Everyone had disappeared off somewhere except two men, one of which had his hand raised as if he had been about to knock. Peeping behind them, she noticed that the guy she had accidentally blasted away had disappeared too.

“Good evening,” Graham greeted calmly.

“Er... Ah, yes, good evening Mr. Graham,” the red haired man said lowering his hand. “I am Arthur Weasley, and this is Arnold Peasegood. We apologize for the late hour, but as you might have noticed there have been some problems and we'd like to make sure no one was hurt.” His eyes darted to auburn haired girl with the side ponytail who was looking around the clearing behind him.

“Yes, I tend to notice when someone causes a ruckus on my doorstep. May I know why someone tried to attack one of my niece's best friends in the middle of the night?” he asked sharply.

However, before Arthur Weasley could even attempt to give him an explanation, a blur launched itself at the one called Arnold and snatched the stick the latter was holding in his hand. Arthur Weasley had barely started to lift his own wand when the older man's voice thundered, “Aria!”

The two short haired brunette, who had been standing behind him just a second before, straightened up and looked back at him from her position in front of Arnold Peasegood with his wand in her hand. Mr Weasley had no idea how she could have moved so fast, unless she used magic of course, of course.

“I'm sorry father,” Aria said hearing the reprimand in Graham's tone. “He was trying to do something to you with this,” she explained her reaction while waving the wand in the air.

“Uhm,” Nanoha interjected not liking the tense atmosphere, “why don't we all calm down and try to talk it through?”

Only the Liese twins and Fate saw Graham's lips twitch, probably remembering what happened every time someone didn't listen to the blue eyed girl. Nanoha was a really sweet girl but destruction tended to fall upon whoever refused to listen to her, and the retired former admiral didn't want to test how well he could take one of her attacks.

“That's a good idea, if you could please refrain from further attacks and come in?” He moved back to let the two men in.

After a brief introduction in which everyone became familiar with the others' names, Fate said she'd make some tea and turned towards the kitchen with a small gentle smile.

“Lotte, go with her and make sure she hasn't picked up any of Lindy's habits, I won't stand for my tea to be mistreated like that under my roof,” Graham whispered while Aria handed him Arnold's wand after the man and his companion had entered the house.

Said two men curiously eyed him as well as Nanoha, who had made a weird expression at those words, then settled down on the couch when they were invited to sit. There was a pause as all presents gathered their thoughts, then the man who had lost his stick to Aria broke the silence.

“Mr Graham, before anything else I'd like to apologize for my behavior, however I intended no harm. Also, forgive me, but I have to ask if you could return me my wand, I'm sure you'll understand...”

“Of course, and I myself apologize if my child has reacted more forcefully than necessary.” Nanoha raised an eyebrow at how Graham had addressed his familiar. Maybe Hayate had taken the habit of referring to the wolkenritters as her children from him... or maybe it was the other way around.

“However,” Graham continued to speak, “if you'd be so kind as to tell me exactly what it was you were trying to do to me before Aria stopped you I'd be more at ease when handing your wand back to you.”

/Fate-chan, they're talking all formal like,/ Nanoha whined using a telepathic link to communicate with her wife.

/Why do you think I offered to make tea? And before you accuse me of anything, I heard what Gil said and saw the face you made./

/Mou, Fate-chan! What happened to the sweet girl I married?/ It was almost possible to hear her pout.

/She was corrupted by the devil?/ Fate playfully answered.

/My memories of our first night picture a rather different situation,/ Nanoha remarked, feeling the instant embarrassment that caused to the blonde.

As much as she enjoyed a playful banter with her red eyed angel, however, she focused back on the talk the three men sitting in the living room were having. Nanoha noticed that the red haired man was eying curiously everything in sight as if every piece of furniture was a wonder.

“So you wanted to... obliviate, was it? Basically deleting our memories of what just happened tonight in order to protect the secrecy of the existence of magic,” Graham summarized.

“Yes, I'm an obliviator and it's my job to modify the memories of muggles who witness the use of magic,” Arnold Peasegood explained fidgeting in his seat. “Once again I apologize for my hasty actions, but I was in no way informed that you or your guests were magically aware.”

“Comprehensible, I've just moved back to England recently after spending years abroad where my niece lives.” It was a nice blend of half truths and lies by omission, but he couldn't really say he had been on another world. “Nanoha and Fate, also live there and are actually here only on vacation for the first time.” He handed back the wand to his owner as Fate and Lotte came back with tea for everyone.

“Still, it was a really crude oversight for us,” the wizard said after pocketing his wand and thanking Lotte who had poured him his cup of tea. “Many organizational problems could have been avoided if only we had been aware of your knowledge of Magic. ”

Nanoha took some form of comfort in the fact Fate was now beside her while the men continued their velvety talk. She herself preferred to be more direct, and although her work had taught her sometimes it was necessary to be more subtle, she couldn't help finding it mind-numbing. It was a great relief for her that Gil Graham was taking care of the whole affair, also because she was starting to get sleepy.

“Forgive me Mr. Graham,” the red headed man interjected, his eyes still roaming the room curiously, “but I can't spot a single magical item and this hardly looks like the home of a wizard. Are you by any chance an expert of muggle culture?”

Fate, who unlike Nanoha was paying attention to the conversation, frowned at the unfamiliar word.
A glance at Graham confirmed that whatever 'muggle' was, the word itself was a specific term used exclusively by these people.

After all the TSAB translation program, which Bardiche had installed like any other active intelligent device, allowed her to speak the English language as if it was her mother language, using their connection to actually implant that knowledge directly in her brain. It had been the same with Japanese when she first came to Earth to look for the Jewel Seeds.

“Excuse me,” she interrupted giving an apologetic smile to the two men and trying not to giggle at Nanoha almost jumping at the sound of her voice. “Pardon my ignorance, but who or what are muggles?”

“It's how we call the people with no magical ability,” Mr Weasley answered. “I suppose it's not a word you could have learned without coming in contact with the British magical community. By the way, where did you say you are from? I really must say you don't seem to have any accent at all, your pronunciation is perfect.”

“Thank you,” Fate said, for once taking a compliment without blushing. The knowledge the compliment was aimed at something she hadn't actually done helped her there. “We're from-”

Once again, screams and yells from outside interrupted what was going on in Graham's living room.

And now it's time to slowly introduce The Harry Potter world. ^.^
Also, I've finally made some choices and have a better idea on where this story is going. I've had a bit of a format problem, I hope you'll find the way I've settled on to write telephatic talks to your liking.

Now, this is something I had initially put into the story, but it slowed it down too much and really killed the mood, so for those interested in the more technical aspects they can read it here, otherwise just ignore it, it's not that important.

Spoiler: Additional Notes: TSAB's Translation system
The translation program the TSAB incorporated in all active intelligent devices was the greatest commodity one could have when traveling. Even if one were to meet a population that spoke a language never heard before, the intelligent device would be able to use the program to interpret the general meaning of the words from the intent behind them and, with more exposure, would be able to completely learn the language and send the data back to TSAB's central Languages Databank -which was actually a subsidiary of the Infinite Library- where the info was stored. Every time a device underwent maintenance they also were provided with the knowledge of whatever new language had been added since the last synchronization to the Databank, so that, should it come in contact with one such language, it'd be able to instantly provide its owner with the full knowledge to talk it fluently. The best part of it, in fact, was that intelligent devices could use their connection with their wielders to implant the knowledge of the language directly in their brain, effectively allowing them to talk it as if it was their mother language.

However, for as great as such a program was, there were noticeable faults in it. As the program relied on hearing native speakers, it was completely useless to decipher dead languages that were no longer spoken and, more importantly, it was limited to the spoken part of a language and was of no help for the written part. Some languages, especially those used on administered planets, had their alphabets and rules on their writing system stored in the Language Databank and intelligent devices could read them if the situation arose, but they couldn't impart that same knowledge to their wielders the way they can the spoken aspect.

As always, comments and critics are welcome. Throw me a bone, come on. XD

EDIT: the lack of feedback turns my mood dark, and thus gives me weird ideas on how to develop the story

Spoiler: plot turned dark
Nanoha falls in love with Harry and cheats on Fate with him, but the latter finds out and decides to look for Voldemort. She helps him gaining a new body and then hooks up with him.
The war starts with Nanoha siding with the order of the phoenix and Fate leading the Death Eaters.
Eventually it comes down to the final battle between Harry and Voldemort, and just as the first is sending the mortal curse to the latter, Fate jumps between them and takes the hit for Voldemort, dying. Enraged, Voldemort kills Harry, and soon after wins the war seizing control of the whole world. Once he has effectively become the ruler of the world, he asks the TSAB for Earth to become an administered planet, request that is granted. However, Nanoha irrupts in the ceremony to celebrate said agreement, and kills Voldemort before killing herself too.
Three days later, the Saint's Cradle rises in the sky and Jail Scaglietti destroys the TSAB.

THIS IS NOT THE PLOT I'll write, it's a last ditch effort to get a reaction out of you all. While I can think darkish plots, I find myself unable to actually write them. I admit, however, that I find it really interesting.

Nyamo's picture
Joined: 07/10/2011
Posts: 147

The dark plot could be fun, but I prefer some NanoFate lovey-doveyness...
Funny to see Arthur Weasley, the first actual Harry Potter character to show up, who would've thought ? Ah wait, that was in the book right ? Ahem.
As before, I love the interactions between Nanoha and Fate, always some humor and sweetness.
This story is so fun, not dark at all. And I love it. It'd be interesting to see a Nanoha and Snape conversation/confrontation. (random idea)
Interesting explanation about the translation system, it makes perfect sense to me. It's great you thought about that.
About the lack of reaction, the nanofate forum isn't the best place to post a story I'd say, you'd get more feedback on Imho.
But please don't stop this story ? Pwease ? *watery eyes*

Natus's picture
Joined: 04/26/2011
Posts: 1261

Bad Crazy! BAD GIRL! ...Or boy! Whatever you are!

(smacks Crazyla with a rolled up newspaper)

I'll give you this much, it's a fluffy piece of work you got there. All fluffy like, sitting there all fluffy while fluffy- (goes on for a while) fluffiness.

Also, it's pretty funny as well~ And it's good to see more of Graham and the twins X3 (I was worried everyone forgot about them >_>;;)

Be a good girl(?) from now on, okay!

Cardboard box is here!

K-n1n3's picture
Joined: 04/02/2012
Posts: 35

Wow, can't believe I missed this awesome fic XD
Definitely fresh idea on introducing Nanoha-world with HP-world, I really want to see the looks on the Death Eaters' face when Nanoha AKA "defenseless muggle" curbstomp them.
And best of all, NanoFate already in happily married couple and hopefully will be that way forever XD. There's too many angsty NanoFate fic already nowadays, so please, please keep the lovey-dovey mood. Angst is okay but too much of it ruin your soul :P
Also may I appeal you to post this fic in No offense to but it's easier to track an update there
PS: Will NanoFate meet Harry & co? LVery looking forward for the next chapter ^^

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

Thank you guys, and sorry for 'scaring' you Natus, I'll be good from now on. ^^

To answer your appeal K-n1n3, let me quote myself:

I plan to eventually post this on, gluing together some snippets, adding things and fixing others.
So yeah, your wish will be granted.
Speaking of which, Nyamo I know might give me more feedback, but posting a chapter there feels... definitive? In other words, once I post something there it's unlikely I'd ever go back to change it (except grammar fixes), and I had hoped to take advantage of this forum format to have a more open discussion about the story than what I'd have by one-on-one reviews.

Anyway, don't fear, I breathe and live of fluffy and fun, so any angst that might crawl into the story won't be overbearing. And More HP characters will appear in the next snippet, maybe I'll even use a wizard's POV too.

EDIT:Story on

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

I'm having an hard time putting everything I had wanted to. I guess I'll have to go back to add things there while others will just have to wait 'till later.
Please help me with this snippet, I'm not really sure if it works and I feel tempted to delete it and starting again.

Once again, screams and yells from outside interrupted what was going on in Graham's living room.

“What is it now? The same people as before?” Nanoha asked with a frown. She didn't like the note of panic they could hear in the cries coming from outside.

Instead of answering, Arnold Peasegood stood up and moved to the window to look outside. The way he paled and started to tremble slightly wasn't reassuring at all, nor was the high pitch his voice acquired as he spoke.

“It can't be... Arthur! It's the Dark Mark!”

“What?” his companion said alarmed, worry and fear evident in his voice as he run to stand beside him and look out himself. His reaction to what he saw was the same as the first man before both men literally disappeared with a loud crack.

The TSAB officers, past and present, plus two familiars blinked and looked at each other.

“Not very polite, are they?” Aria grumbled.

“With our luck, that was probably a world threat that just came up. I think it's better if we start contacting our superiors,” Nanoha assessed with a face between exasperated and resigned.

Fate could only hug her and kiss the top of her head in a gesture that was equal parts supportive and consoling.


It took almost half an hour before the wizards showed up again. By then the tea had cooled and Nanoha had started to doze off with her head resting on Fate's shoulder. The good thing about their arrival was that they had the decency of knocking on the door rather than just teleport into the living room, fact that gave the auburn haired girl enough time to wake up and school her expression.

“Mr Weasley, always a pleasure. Please come in, I hope you and your companions will stay a while longer this time. Lotte is already making some other tea.” It was almost impossible to discern whatever or not Graham was being sarcastic in his greeting as he spoke with no inflection in his voice.

The group entering the living room was much more numerous and different from the two-men team Weasley and Peasegood had formed earlier. For starters, the latter wasn't present but two other men had come with Mr Weasley.

One was a gray-haired man who strangely enough was wearing a crisp suit and tie, not the most common or comfortable clothes to go camping in. The second man was a big contrast with the first, wearing long clothes with horizontal yellow and black stripes, he had short blond hair and blue eyes.

Neither of those two men were the ones who had immediately caught Fate's eyes, though, it was instead the three young teenagers who were standing close to Mr Weasley, two boys and a girl. One of them had the same red hair of Arthur, and looked like he could be his son, the girl had bushy brown hair and the other boy had messy black hair and wore round glasses. All three of them looked disheveled and shaken and were wearing their pajamas.

Nanoha couldn't hold back a smile as Fate shot a disapproving look at the three adults. She was always so soft with children, even ones who must have been only a few years younger than herself.

“Mr Graham, let me introduce you Ludo Bagman, head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports,” mr Weasley said gesturing to the blond man with the bee-like clothes, “and Bartemius Crouch, head of the Department of International Magical Co-operation, who you should probably talk with since you've lived abroad for so long.”

“Of course,” Gil Graham agreed politely. “But first, may I assume that whatever emergency you had to face has been resolved? I remember hearing your colleague saying something about a dark mark...”

Nanoha noticed right away the deep frown Crouch made as well as the young girl glare directed at him. She also realized that the three youngest didn't seem as upset as the adults.

“Yes, yes,” Ludo Bagman spoke up. “Someone summoned You-Know-Who's mark.”

“I'm afraid I don't,” Graham said.

“You don't what?” Ludo Bagman asked, confused.

“Know who.”

“Yeah, someone cast his mark in the sky.”

“Whose mark?” the bearded ex-admiral asked once again.


There was a pause as Gil Graham stared at the blond man with a child's face in the eyes. The silence stretched for a long moment before it was broken by the young boy with messy black hair.

“E-excuse me sir, Mr Bagman means Voldemort.” The adult wizards and the other two teenagers all gasped or shuddered when the boy said that name, but he ignored them. “Most prefer not to say his name and refer to him as You-Know-Who or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

“Well, that's a good way to create a lot of confusion,” Graham commented. “Thank you for the explanation...” he trailed off waiting for the boy to introduce himself.

“Harry Potter, sir.”

“Oh, yes, Harry is friends with my son, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger, another friend,” Mr Weasley said, apparently only now remembering he had dragged the three teenagers along. “I'm sorry about bringing them here but I didn't feel comfortable sending them to the tents on their own.”

“It's no problem at all,” Fate interjected. Then she turned to the two boys and one girl, “I'll go take some sweets and cookies for you to eat with your tea if you like?”

Was it wrong to get turned on by the sight of her wife acting all caring and motherly? It didn't really matter, in any case Nanoha couldn't have acted on it with so many people loitering around.

Aside from her Fate-chan-induced stupor, the blue eyed girl also noticed Harry start when he met Fate's eyes. Probably he was startled by their unusual, but oh so beautiful, red wine color.

“Anyway, I've been told that you've lived many years abroad and that, aside from your two daughters, your two guests are foreigners too,” Bartemius Crouch spoke up, trying to get down to business.

“In fact,” Graham agreed, “Fate and Nanoha are my niece's best friend. I'm putting them up for their holidays as they wanted to visit England.”

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, but Nanoha could just imagine bright neon signs saying 'everything is completely normal here' floating around Gil Graham as she listened to his explanation. She almost missed Fate coming back with a tray of sweets and cookies too.

“Could you tell me who you talked with when you arrived on British lands?” It was clear that Crouch was already planning to fire whoever didn't pass along the information of five magically aware people running the campground where wizards and witches from all over the world were staying. The knowledge would have undoubtedly made his work that much easier after all.

“I'm afraid I must say I didn't contact anyone on either the girl's or my own arrival, we didn't know we had to. As a matter of fact, we didn't even know there was a magical community here.”

All the TSAB agents, retired and not, observed calmly as their six guests collectively blinked and gave them disbelieving looks.

“You mean that your own government didn't bother to notify you of our presence? Preposterous! This is unacceptable. Where did you say you're from?” Nanoha almost rolled her eyes at the gray haired man indignation, but refrained from it when Fate squeezed her hand. Better not angering the man further.

“We're Japanese,” Fate answered in her usual soft voice.

For the effect those three words had she could have shouted at the top of her lungs. Mr Weasley gaped openly at them, Bagman spouted his tea and Crouch's eyes widened so much they looked ready to pop out of their sockets. At least the three teenagers -Harry, Ron and Hermione- looked as confused at the reaction as Graham, Fate and Nanoha felt.

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 296

ALRIIIIIIGHTTTT! Here is a little comment from me to you on this site XD

The scenario is really nice and the pacing is also funny)in a humorous way XD) and the end had me an "?" which means that you succeeded with creating attention and are keeping the interesting ideas, which I proud to say is really good!

I hope to see the next chapter on and to say how you've corrected and paced the next chapter!

I'll give you something construcctive when I've sleep a little....

K-n1n3's picture
Joined: 04/02/2012
Posts: 35

Uh oh missed the one you posted in, better check it later :P
Entering NanoFate as the "unfortunate background muggle" in Goblet of Fire is brilliant :D. It's funny and enjoyable till the dreaded cliff hanger, the bane of every reader >_<
Poor, poor Nanoha, all she want is nice peaceful honeymoon with her waifu but trouble seems to follow her everywhere, "Devil luck" indeed XD
BTW why the wizards so surprised at Fate admittance as Japanese? Granted she really, really doesn't looks like one :P
Looking forward for the next chapter

Nyamo's picture
Joined: 07/10/2011
Posts: 147

Well I like this scene, presenting more characters and placing them in the magical world, I don't see why you should delete this ?
Small typo : as he run --> as he ran, in the beginning.
How they don't have any clue as to what is going on is very funny, I kind of forgot the HP characters' appearances (and of course they had to translate names in my country =__=) but could easily imagine their faces.
I'm curious to know why they reacted that way to their origins, and how they will react to the presentation of the tsab...
What bothers you in this snippet exactly ?

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

@k-n1n3- Thanks, I'm particualrly glad that you liked how I entered Nanoha and Fate as the "background muggles", it's from that idea that the whole story was born.

@nyamo- Thanks for catching the typo. I guess the greatest problem I'm having is that there are many things I want to put into this conversation/encouter, but I'm afraid of making the talk become boring or annoying. Also, not everything can be inserted in their talk naturally, I don't want them to sound forced...

As for your questions about Japan... Just be patient, the next snippet will explain it. For now, let's just say that NanoFate had the biggest luck possible that will allow them to pass off as witches who know nothing about the magical world. ;)

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

Pathetically short, but it's been a long while. Some of you already know why I have slowed down so drastically so soon, the death my my laptop. *moment of mourning*
Anyway, this little bit deals with some very important info which I hope answer your questions. I hope it's clear enough in describing the situation as the wizards see it and maybe you can already try to guess how the TSAB can take advantage of it, but if you have questions or doubts or think something isn't explained well let me know. This part still needs some polish, I fear.

"We're Japanese," Fate answered in her usual soft voice.

For the effect those three words had she could have shouted at the top of her lungs. Mr Weasley gaped openly at them, Bagman spouted his tea and Crouch's eyes widened so much they looked ready to pop out of their sockets. At least the three teenagers -Harry, Ron and Hermione- looked as confused at the reaction as Graham, Fate and Nanoha felt. The Liese twins were just happy that they were leaning against the wall, well out of reach of any stray spray of liquid.

"Forgive me, but you wouldn't happen to have something stronger to drink? This has already been a long night and I doubt it'll be over any time soon, now," Crouch said tiredly, a hand covering his eyes and massaging his temples. "Of all the countries out there it just had to be Japan..."

"Hey!" Nanoha objected, irked at the slight against her home country.

"I meant no offense, really. At least that explains why you had no idea that an hidden, world wide, magical society exists."

"Because we're Japanese?" Fate asked a bit confused by the gray haired man's words.

"Indeed," Bagman barged into the conversation after cleaning the mess with his tea with a wave of his wand. "Japan is the only country without a magical government. We know of some little independent magical groups that live there, but the creation of a magical government there is impossible."

"Detection spells don't work there, it's like something disrupts them. We've been able to pick up some big magical signals occasionally, but tracking down individual wizards and witches is impossible," Crouch said more to himself than anyone else rubbing his chin. "As a result, magic usage cannot be monitored and, since Japanese witches and wizards hide themselves and live among the muggles disguising their powers, they remain ignorant of each other's existance and are thus unable to band together."

"According some rumors I've heard, some managed to successfully mix together magic and muggle techorologies," Mr Weasley commented excitedly.

"Technologies," Hermione corrected him. "And you mean to say that there are no magical schools there? How do they learn magic, then?"

"Most magical knowledge is kept either in the family by those who know it, or passed down from teacher to disciple as far as we know," Crouch answered. "Japanese people are naturally discreet and have made a wonderful job of keeping magic hidden, just as much as the muggle population has made a wonderful job at ignoring anything bizarre."

"I've heard of a guy who made a bet once," Ludo spoke up once again, merrily ignoring the glare Crouch shot him, "he walked down a street with a manticore on a leash, and no one stopped him or made any questions about it. The only time someone made a comment about it was when one of those muggle aurors-"

"A policeman," Hermione corrected the blond man while gesturing at him to continue. She looked like the kind of girl that craved knowledge.

"Yeah, a policemen told him that dogs weren't allowed in the mall he had tried to go in. Dogs!"

/Fate-chan, Japanese aren't that bad, are we?/

/The girl who, at the tender age of nine, picked up a talking ferret and hunted shiny stones of doom while keeping it all quiet, asked./

Nanoha sent her a murderous glare.

/I think of that as another adorable trait of yours,/ Fate continued smiling lovingly at her.

Nanoha seemed a bit more pleased and happy at that, but still looked a bit peeved as she kept glaring at no one in particular. Fate wished she'd stop, her glare was just as sexy as her smile, and it was way too distracting. Damn hormones.

"..a bit different, as some develop it in conjunction with martial arts," Crouch was answering another question Hermione had asked. "Their culture also generally encourages meditation, and the few Japanese wizards I've had the privilege of meeting were exceptionally strong in the mind arts."

Sha Yurigami's picture
Joined: 02/24/2011
Posts: 296

There is but one tiny little hole in your plot TT^TT Remember when HP was really popular a few years back and making games for pc and such?

Well in the quidditch editions were always Japanese players I said tha is but one tiny little point I wanted to point out! But whatever, let me sleep first before I review seriously tommorow!

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

Mah, I don't care for the games, to me the only canon are the books (although there are scenes I might take from the movies too). And even if there were Japanese wizards in them, I'd probably still have made this change regardless.

You had scared me for a second, but to me a plothole happens only in the case the author contradicts himself. Everything else can be filed under 'changes made for the sake of fanfiction-making' or 'creative interpretation'.

Nyamo's picture
Joined: 07/10/2011
Posts: 147

Nyahaha, that short made me laugh ! Japanese people sure are something, always keeping special abilities secret. I wonder if those big magical signs were Nanoha and Fate happily creating a space distortion ? Not very difficult to see how they could join indeed.
And you even added some NanoFate, good job hormones. *thumbs up*
And sorry for the lack of reply on my side, you know real life and holidays...

Crazyla's picture
Joined: 02/05/2012
Posts: 434

It's been way too long since I last wrote anything so even if ridicolously short here's a snippet.
It might be a bit confusing as it seems I'm repeating things or that I've gone back, but believe me, I've already fixed the previous scene so that it flows better into this one.
I'm too lazy to actually correct it here, though, so you'll see the corrected and revised thing only once it goes up on

"But how does that work, if there’s no magical organization then doesn’t that mean that there are no magical schools there?"

"Indeed, as far as we know most magical knowledge is kept either in the family by those who know it, or passed down from teacher to disciple," Crouch answered yet again.

“Huh? Magical schools? As in schools were you learn magic?” Nanoha spoke up, now really interested in the subject, before, almost as a second thought, she added another question. “Wait, are you three students in a magic school then?”

“Uhm, yes, we attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, we’re all Gryffindors, about to start our fourth year,” Hermione answered.

“Gry-what?” Nanoha asked frowning in confusion.

“It’s one of the four houses the student body is divided in, each named after one of the founders and standing for his or her values,” was the textbook-like answer.

“Hey, speaking of Hogwarts, Barty don’t you think…” Ludo Bagman was saying, his eyes sparkling like a child’s as he tried to convey his thoughts to the other man without actually putting them into words. It wasn’t necessary when Crouch did guess correctly what the blond man was thinking.

“Ludo, don’t you think we already have enough to worry about?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“Nonsense! When else will we have a chance like this? Besides most of the work is already done, a couple of people more won’t do any difference to us and I’m sure Dumbledore has enough room. Wait a second, I’ll call him.” He stood up abruptly and left the room.

“Ludo! Excuse me,” Crouch hastily said to the others in the living room before chasing after his colleague. “Ludo, listen to me!”

Their sudden leaving left all the others, wizards and TSAB mages alike, rather baffled, with the sole exception of Mr Weasley who seemed to at least have a good idea of what was going on, although his frown indicated he wasn’t sure. Or maybe he didn’t think whatever was going on was such a good idea. In any case, neither him nor his son and his friends noticed when Aria stealthily disappeared from the room.

“Dumbledore?” Graham inquired raising an eyebrow at Arthur Weasley.

“Albus Dumbledore, he’s the headmaster at Hogwarts.” Hermione beat everyone else at explaining it. But I’m not sure what Mr Bagman was talking about...”

“Wait,” the younger redhead, Ron, who had been enjoying the refreshments offered and mostly ignored the conversation till then, interrupted her. “Wait, does this have anything to do with whatever you all hinted at that is going to happen at Hogwarts this year?”

Even the other boy, Harry, seemed just as curious despite keeping silent.

“I… ah… I’m really not supposed to say.” Mr Weasley discomfort obviously came from having to keep the info from his host rather than the teenagers.

“I understand.” Gil said with a sigh. There was no point in pressuring the other man, not when it seemed he’d have answers as soon as the other two –or Aria at the very least- came back anyway.

Feedback? Please tell me if it's getting boring or there's something you'd like to see/be explained that I haven't shown/brought up.
Also, do you think this could be enough to close a chapter(I think it'd be around 4600 wrods)? I wanted to go on further, but I realize that given my pace that could mean YEARS before I get to update.
EDIT-when I get feedback (and only then) I'll post a nanofate drawing. Hooray for bribing. XD

Bardiche's picture
Joined: 08/24/2011
Posts: 490

I really like it so far, the story takes a interesting perspective which is not normally common in crossovers. It combines the two universes with some barrier which make both worlds collide really well (e.g. the no magical government in japan etc).

I'm interested to see where your story will take the chracters next. Since all of the main characters have met up now, will they be off on magical adventures together? Will there be Nanofate times with the HP cast wondering what is going on between them? I'm interested to see what you'll do with this fanfic, it's great ^^

Nyamo's picture
Joined: 07/10/2011
Posts: 147

I'm now trying to imagine Nanoha as a teacher at Hogwarts...that would be entertaining xP
So, they're going to invite them to come to Hogwarts, that would be during that tournament. So, will they participate as a fourth school? I'm curious, curious...
This could be enough to close a chapter if you added something, I don't know what but...I don't know...a closure...
I can't wait to know what's next~