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Nanoha poetry!

5 replies [Last post]
aondeug's picture
Joined: 07/07/2018
Posts: 7

Like the title says I'll be collecting my Nanoha themed poetry here. The stuff will invariably also be found on my ao3 too, username being aondeug there too. First thing's a short one about the fact that Fate isn't left handed like Alicia is. I'm a lefty myself so frustrations with writing with your non-dominant hand are frustratingly real to me.

There's a pen in your left hand
just as you remember
though it doesn't feel the same.
You can see it though
right there in your memories,
it's crystal clear.
Pens, crayons, pencils,
they’re all in your left hand
as you draw your pictures
for your mother
who smiles at them
when she comes home from work
and tells you how nice they are,
how talented you are.
Right now though
even if it's in your left hand
while she watches you
with growing concern
you just can't do it.
You try and fail
to draw a line
just like you remember
while your hand aches and pains,
cramping in protest.
You can't find the little muscles
that you remember so well
which let you draw your lines
to show Mother.
You know they're there,
you can even feel them
in those memories,
but you can't find them here.
You can't find them
and you can't draw a line
and your mother's leaving
with a heavy sigh
because you failed again.
You couldn't draw a straight line
to make her smile
just as you remember
and you don't understand why.
There's a pen in your left hand!

A.'s picture
Joined: 08/14/2009
Posts: 4272

This is the first Nanoha poetry I have seen, and even though poetry is not really my thing yours was nice.

aondeug's picture
Joined: 07/07/2018
Posts: 7

I've only seen one other example of it. Some ballad that was written as part of a writing challenge, I think it was. It's up on ao3, can't recall the name or the author right now. Poetry fic in general tends to be an exceptionally niche thing and I'm the only person I know whose fic output is entirely poetry. Hell I'm the only person I know who writes poetry fic with any sort of regularity...Which makes a bit sad since it's very much my thing. Its rarity does make finding it the most exciting thing ever though.

And yay I am happy it was liked. Thank you!

Sansker's picture
Joined: 10/01/2011
Posts: 1100

I am not an expert on poetry either, but I like it how this one went.

aondeug's picture
Joined: 07/07/2018
Posts: 7


I am happy it is liked. I am not entirely satisfied with the thing but I mean is anyone ever satisfied with their work. My issues with it mostly being a matter of flow. Something about the flow's a bit off to me.

Wrote some more things. All of them also focused on Fate's childhood. These ones even have titles. The first was also given one in the form of 'Not a southpaw blues'. The overall collection of these poems meanwhile is 'A Most Devoted Daughter'.

It's your fault


She feels it
sharp, stark
that cuts quick,
digging deep
drawing out cries.
One, two
how long is it?
An hour?
It blurs,
blended up,
one moment
a lifetime,
one moment
too short.
Her fault
it's her fault
Just hers
and just her
on the floor.
Cold, burning
bruising, bleeding.
Just her,
just shame.
she feels it.

A Lack of Love


Every time she goes up to her
there's a pit of worry in her stomach
and more than a little shame.
She's disappointed her mother, surely,
as that's all she ever seems to do.
She tries though,
tries to get just one smile.
She never succeeds of course,
because she doesn't love Mother
not nearly enough and like she should.
So the shame is great
and it burns and burns,
because guilt brands you deeper than fear.
If only she loved Mother more,
if only she respected Mother more,
but of course she doesn't
and so even as she recoils
from the whipping to come
she can't help but feel
that it's for her own good
every time she goes up to her.



A cold room is home
and her shoulders pop and tear.
Home's where the chains are.

(not an)Infection


Arf, dear Arf. She's here.
Alcohol is here also
which burns while it cleans cuts.

aondeug's picture
Joined: 07/07/2018
Posts: 7

Got caught up by life but I have still be writing poems. Some of them have even been Nanoha related! These two poems were written last month, all of them dealing with Fate and her mom...

She'll always be 'Mother'

Days pass,
then months
and years even
and as time slips by
the feeling never dies,
not completely.
That yearning's still there
for something she never got
and it always prompts an
'I love you, Mother.'
No one understands
except Mom, maybe,
and that's just fine.

Just one hug

Your eyes are dead
and your spirits are crushed
so you crumple to the floor
while that girl shouts,
it might be your name,
you don't care
because all you can think
is how much you want a hug
but not from that girl.

These two here, also dealing with Fate and her mother, were written this morning...



as you sit there
you think of her,
your mother.

She smiled,
though never at you.
She laughed,
though always at you.
Your name
was never on her mind.
Her name,
now that was on her mind.
You were pit
against a girl you never knew.

There's scars too,
more than you can count
all clustered up
on your back and more
for having failed
to live up to the ghost
of the lost.

You've little quirks
like a shyness
that never left,
a desire to please
that never left,
and a terror
that they all might leave.

But sometimes
as you sit there
and you think of her,
your mother,
you can't but know
that you'll always, always
always love her.


Some worry.
They murmur and whisper
of the family curse,
the madness,
though you've worked
all your life
to be anything but
the madness.

Isn't that a madness?

And this one here is the first Nanofate poem I've written. Finally a Nanofate poem on a Nanofate board...

A Fate saving fate

She snatched you
right out of the jaws
of your own self.
With a hand outstretched
and your mother falling
you walked right on
into your own fate.